At room temp'rature

If you are familiar at all with those wacky creations of DC's late Silver Age, the Metal Men, then you've probably seem them do their standard "introposition" spiels. 

Whenever you see them do this (they do it in almost every story), you barely pay attention because it's become so formulaic.  Particularly Mercury's "did I ever mention that Mercury is the only metal etc." routine.

So would you notice if it were...

a haiku?

I'M MERCURY THE

ONLY METAL THAT'S LIQUID

AT ROOM TEMPERATURE.

I'm assuming Mercury pronounces "temperature" with only three syllables, because, well, that's how everyone pronounces it.

We all know Mercury's the snooty one, but don't the other Metal Men deserve their own haikus?  Can you write them each their own haikus of self-introduction?

Master of... what was that again...?

Just a brief note, which should be of particular interest to certain supervillains who like to imagine themselves to be bloggers...

I've been playing a solitaire game of Heroclix that honors the first issue of the new Doom Patrol series, with my DP-themed team of 750 points against a team of villains associated with Oolong Island. I'm playing on my Big Monkey Store Map, which naturally breaks the action up into different theaters of war.

While the Doom Patrol has been busy fighting Giganta, Dr. Domino, and Angle Man, (and getting nowhere),

the Metal Men (who are the, ahem, 'co-feature' in the back of Doom Patrol) successfully took out Egg Fu (that's Chang Tzu to you kiddies) and then...

wait for it...

they kicked Dr. Polaris's patootie.

Yes, you heard right. Dr. Polaris, the *snicker* "master of magnetism", was handed his funny-looking hat by ... the Metal Men.

OH, the comic book irony.

AND, Iron wasn't even helping out. He was elsewhere, casually holding his own against BIZARRO.

Sure, the Metal Men had a little help from Beast Boy, but, you know, how much of a difference is that? The Metal Men pwned DOCTOR POLARIS with one metal tied behind their backs.

Metal Men rocked, and Dr. Polaris rolled. *Snort*!