Ladies and gentlemen, Martha Roberts (from Doll Man Quarterly #3):
Martha stops off an orphanage to pick up some fresh orphans for her activities.
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| Darrell "Doll Man" Dane: "Orphans? How tedious. Are they contagious?" |
Martha is a trustee.
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| Darrell: "I'll remain here, plucking my eyebrows, lest I catch any orphanic diseases. Is orphanism contagious? No self-respecting hero should be an orphan." |
Martha, as an absentee trustee, it shocked to find:
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| Martha: "Don't mind me, MISSUS Noble, I'm just accentuating my free-flowing bachelorette tresses in contrast to your de-sexualized butch cut." |
that there are orphans at the orphanage.
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| "O-o-o-ORphans?!" Yes, there are orphans at the orphanage of which you are a trustee, Martha. I'd hate to see your reaction to Casper the Friendly Ghost. |
Mercifully, I'm skipping most of the scenes of fifth columnist midgets disguised as orphan boys.
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| Pictured: Comforting o-o-o-orphans. |
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| Blow up the help? No wonder she's upset; good help is hard to find. |
Martha was a pioneer in Rule 34.
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| #snowwhitefanfic |
Just in case you are wondering what Darrell "Doll Man' Dane is doing during all this.
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| Getting his *** kicked by a Nazi dwarf, named "The Dwarf", who is the master of the midget fifth columnists, because of course he is. |
Doll Man saves Martha (and the factory), as you would expect. The midgets survive, but the dwarf succumbs to comic book irony.
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| There is a lot to deride in Doll Man stories, but Doll Man creator Will Eisner was a master of innovative panel layout. |
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