Friday, August 08, 2014

Flash Museum!

In case you don't already know, the next big set of DC Heroclix is a "Flash" set

I don't know what maps they plan on releasing with it. But to prepare I have made a map depicting the entrance to the Flash Museum, which includes the attached gift shop and movie house, a Jitters (tm) brand coffee cafe and nice garden.

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Fighting Monsters

Last week I read two comics with Wonder Woman in them.

In one, she dealt with a pack of men verbally accosting her on a city street.

What would I do?!  I'm thinking the blond.

WW snaps them back with her Sassing of Truth (tm).

Oh, you're not a side of beef NOW; but wait'll Ed Benes gets a hold of you.

but then she is “saved” by a friend (Cathy) who is a nascent feminist with rudimentary combat skills. 

"In the gut, big boy" = worst battlecry ever.

And  then she yells at her for it.

"Next time,, Diana, I'll just sit by quietly waiting while people kick your ass, just like I Ching always told me I should."

Then Wonder Woman crashes at her pad, because WW is homeless and needs a job.

Ya know, I hear Taco Whiz is hiring.

But then she gets a job at local department store that caters to women and which supplies jobs to lots of local woman.  All Wonder Woman has to do is wear the store’s clothes and do a little PR about it.  It’s a great deal; easy work for her, free clothes, helps local women.

"This can't be real--clothes that aren't WHITE?!"

Until it turns out the owner is a kind of sexist jerk.  Turns out he’s sort of underpaying her for her advertising work.  

Not enough dog butts in today's comics, I say.

Turns out he’s not paying the female workers the going wage.  And he’s skirting the federal laws on equal pay by only using locally made goods, which means he’s not doing interstate commerce and is exempt. Or some such.  

I confess I had to look up "shuck".

And then the local feminists call Wonder Woman out on this, and she resists seeing it because now she’s kind of biased by her cushy deal with him.  

Yeah, Hera forbid the princess of a society of nothing but women should join an icky women's group.

But then her friend Cathy really calls BS on her, 

Quick, count the number of times you've seen anyone call Wonder Woman out like that.

and Wonder Woman is forced to see the truth, by the strength of the woman’s friendship and argument.

"CODE: I don't need you!"

But THEN the jerkwad sends bully-boys to harass the local feminist group that’s been dogging him about his unfair treatment of women.  

Effing ruffians, with their menacing and vandalizing!

And when Wonder Woman gets in trouble, she's rescued by a female guard-dog trainer and a lady blackbelt.

I'd bet anything Lady Blackbelt dated Julie Jively

she closes the whole operation down by reporting the guy to the police for OTHER illegal cheapstake business practices, like not having appropriate fire safety stuff, like sprinklers and marked exits.

Aw, shucks!

So WW's feeling pretty good about herself and her ability to fight crime with nothing but a white pants suit and an encyclopedic knowledge of local building safety codes.

"I wish I Ching were here to see this! Oh wait--that's right..."

But then ANOTHER group of women lays into her and the women feminists saying “Thanks crusading heroines!  We all just lost our jobs thanks to you, butt out!”  

Say, weren't you in the "New Guardians"?

And Wonder Woman’s all, “Holy Hercules, man’s world is effing complicated!”

Wonder Woman goes transquartomuralistic; eat yer heart out, Grant Morrison.

And in the other comic...

Me, too, Wonder Woman.

...she fought monsters.

Now, I have nothing against monster-fighting.  One of the great things about Wonder Woman is that she is a classical mythology figure who can fight monsters without it seeming odd.  And, yes, it is great to see WW smack down some evil monster.

But I can’t help but wonder whether her monster-fighting didn’t used to be a lot more interesting, relevant, and complicated.