Sunday, June 03, 2012

Sing along to "The Alan Scott Song!"

How on earth-2 to celebrate the news about Alan Scott? 
 Oh, I know.... WITH SONG !

Green Lantern is the gay to be!

Man-kissin' is the life we'll see!

Cape spreadin' out so far and wide

Keep Hal Jordan, just give me that old-school guy.

Earth-2 is where I'd rather stay.


I get excited seeing "gay".

I just abhor a "Penthouse" view.

Hal Jordan, I love you

 but give me GL Earth-2.

...The capes!

...The japes!

...Blonde hair! flair!

You're not my wife!

Good bye, shitty life!

Green Lantern?! I'm so there!


Anonymous said...

I'm tempted to make a joke about how his weakness for wood made me suspect it all along...

Anonymous said...

Scipio, I marvel at your sense of cadence.

The "Penthouse view" part was inspired as well.

Anonymous said...

And one more thing:

"Here I come, fruity!"

Scipio said...

Thanks; it helps when writing parody lyrics for the chorus or quartet.

And, yeah, that was my favorite part, too.

Scipio said...

""Here I come, fruity!"


I actually had to google that, because I'd completely forgotten it.

Unknown said...

Interesting, sad or absolutely typical that one of the circulated official images of Kevin Scott is drenched in green fire.

Didio, like Homer Simpsons, prefers his homosexuals flaming.

Scipio said...

heh, I believe you mean Alan Scott.

The Golden Age Green Lantern is all about the green flames: "three times shall I burn" and all that, if you've read the original story.

But yes there is a certain comic book irony to the New Gay on the Block being a flamer who can't resist wood.

Diabolu Frank said...

"heh, I believe you mean Alan Scott."

He should have used "Kev" Scott to make sure the joke got all the way home.

Hoosier X said...

Here's the main thing that gets me about this big revelation:

The idea that Alan Scott being gay is a big revelation.

Imitorar said...

Dialogue like "Here I come, fruity!" A weakness against wood. Constantly being surrounded by flames. And seriously, just LOOK at how he used to dress. It's a wonder nobody ever made Alan Scott gay before.

Dave said...

If the real book is half as entertaining as this, I'll be amazed.

SallyP said...

This was simply magnificent!

Jeff McGinley said...

I"ve had to explain Earth 2, reboots etc. to mulitple people who come up to me as "the comic guy" saying , "Hey did you hear about Green Lantern?" From now on I will simply refer them to this awesome song.

Scipio said...

It's like "the Alphabet Song" except for Earth-2 Gay Lantern news, I suppose.

TheUUShadow said...

As a gay man I SHOULD be overjoyed at this development.

But first there is the fact that we have lost Obsidian...not happy. The gay character is in an "alternate universe"...not happy.

And most telling for me personally Is that when I got my first ever commission sketch from Irwin Hasen at Heroescon two years ago I actually flabbergasted the man. I asked for and got a sketch of the golden age Harlequin. He was amazed and told me I was the first person who had EVER mentioned her much less asked for a sketch.

Anonymous said...

Shoulda been Batman. That guy's been out of the closet since day one--and only Wertham noticed.

Ol' Bruce has only had one real relationship in his life--with a 12 year old boy. Making Bats the poster guy for NAMBLA.

If changing established straight characters into gay ones is such a good idea, then revealing the truth about old Bats would have been a pure epiphony!

Steve Mitchell said...

"But first there is the fact that we have lost Obsidian. . ."

We don't know if we have lost Obsididan yet. It's still early days on New Earth-2, and we could find that he's someone else's son. (The Shade's, possibly?)

But Obsidian may not be gay this time around--at least, not in the strangely distorted mirror-universe of Earth-2. If DC can destraightenize Alan Scott, they can also degayify Todd Rice.

Dan said...

I just wish DC would stop calling this "Earth 2." It's not. It's an all-new continuity that's more revised than original.

It's Earth-5 or whatever. But it's not Earth-2.

Who in the world cares about ANY version (gay or straight) of the old Golden Age characters--except fans of those specific characters?!?!? Not only is that not the Earth 2 Alan Scott, that's not the Earth 2 Jay Garrick, or Super, Bats, WW, etc.

Rebooting Earth 2 makes it NOT Earth 2. It's some other Earth.

GA fans should lobby DC hard to get the name changed to reflect the content of the books.

Why? Because if this sticks, then the ORIGINAL SUPERHERO UNIVERSE--the one that started it all--is officially DEAD.

Anonymous said...

Dan Didio is the Gordon Gekko of comics. A Vulture Editor. He goes in, rapes, pillages, and plunders the DCU--breaking it apart--hoping he can gain an extra nickel through destruction, and leaving a legacy of devastation in his wake.

The DCU is clearly NOT better than it was when he took over. It's almost unrecognizable.

The only man at DC worthy of his job is Geoff Johns. He's the only one who builds up the DCU instead of tearing it down.

Dan said...

IMO, it's absurd to say that orientation is irrelevant. If it's not a part of a person's whole self, their identity as a whole, then what is it? It's a stronger part of an identity than a hobby or their job. Would you say those don't factor in either? If the alter ego's private identity is irrelevant, then why is so much page space dedicated to their private lives?

Are we supposed to treat superheroes the way we do sports--that we root no matter who's inside the uniform? Are we really just watching LAUNDRY go across the page? Sorry, but that's not gonna fly. Just ask fans of Hal Jordan, Barry Allen, Arthur Curry, and Ray Palmer if personal traits under the cowl "shouldn't matter." It DOES. And intolerance or bigotry have NOTHING to do with it. (cont'd)

Dan said...

Funny how any criticism is turned into intolerance. Why is there no room for insisting a character not be altered by editors? How well did that plan work out after Crisis in Infinite Earths? A MESS. After Zero Hour? One Year Later? How many revamp episodes must fans endure? (I present Hawkman as my evidence. One jacked up, almost unusable character.) Didio wanted a high profile homosexual, just as he wants more ethnic/minority variation. Fine by me. Make a million of them. But create them as NEW. Don't mine pre-existing characters because you have no imagination. Case in point: Blue Beetle. The new BB is a really good character. But he bears no resemblance to the original except being blue and having the name--and that name's the problem. DC created an almost totally new character and then copped out by reusing an established name. It's clearly not the old Blue Beetle, and by use of his name, fans of the previous Blue Beetle have no chance of enjoying their character again. In my mind, this was completely unnecessary--except for the fact that Didio's DC has no capacity to create new character names.

Don't blame fans of the Golden and Silver Age that their childhood heroes were all white males. That's what they made and what we bought. It's not our fault that era wasn't populated with minorities. AS far as those characters go, most of us want them to remain unaltered.

I loathe ANY permanent alteration to an established character in this manner. (This event was not character growth. This isn't a 74 year old character coming out of the closet. This is a new iteration of the GA Green Lantern.) If DC wants a new character, then MAKE A NEW CHARACTER.

I feel the same about this entire Earth 2 concept of the New 52. It's utterly pointless. The only people who cared about Earth 2 in any way cared about the original Golden Age characters--not endless derivatives and stand-ins. This should be titled "Earth-5" or something that properly identifies it as all-new.

To restart Earth 2 is to officially KILL the very first universe in this industry. And THAT is the most unacceptable of all. No respect for what DC was built upon. (I don't know why this isn't the big headline on every webpage = Didio kills Golden Age with new "Earth 2.")

If nobody at DC cares about the Golden Age characters and their continuity (besides Geoff Johns), then they should just put it all on a big shelf and leave it alone.

This replacement method is also deceitful. Didio wants rid of DC's old dinosaur fans. People like me who prefer older characters. Didio wants a different customer base. That's fine. But if he wants new readers, then create new characters. It's lazy and sleazy to take the position of not wanting to continue those old characters, and then keep using those characters in altered form. There's nothing universal about Alan Scott. He speaks only to old fogeys, not young kids. Let's face it, the name "Green Lantern" is very dated. It's not a naming convention current audiences relate to. So by re-using it, Didio is trying to have it both ways--he wants a "new" character but doesn't want to risk using a new name. He still wants us old fogeys to buy DC's books without having an iota of respect for us.

Steve Mitchell said...

Alan Scott of New Earth-2 has been gay for a month now. Time to move on to something more recent--like the references to Dr. Occult and Vibe in yesterday's new books.

In Justice League Dark, John Constantine made a reference to Dr. Occult that clearly places him in the continuity of the main Earth for the New-52 (although I would have expected to see Dr. Occult over on New Earth-2 instead).

And similarly, Aquaman made a reference to Vibe that established the latter as an existing character. We knew Vibe was coming from the previews to Trinity War, but now we know that he's already operating somewhere.

Dan said...

I've come to believe that Didio doesn't care WHAT is in these books.

He thinks, probably correctly, that the sheeple will buy it regardless. Just slap a reboot to it and folks will gobble up indiscriminately.

And that's why the DCU is the worst mess in the history of entertainment. Arthurian legends have been told, retold, and messed with for well over a thousand years, and they don't come close to the damage that DC has done in 25 years.

Scipio said...

"Case in point: Blue Beetle. The new BB is a really good character. But he bears no resemblance to the original except being blue and having the name--and that name's the problem. DC created an almost totally new character and then copped out by reusing an established name. It's clearly not the old Blue Beetle, and by use of his name, fans of the previous Blue Beetle have no chance of enjoying their character again."

Are you talking about talking about Jaime Reyes-Blue Beetle? Who is new and bear no resemblances to his predecessor, Ted Kord-Blue Beetle.

Or are you talking about Ted Kord-Blue Beetle? Who bore no resemblance to the ORIGINAL Blue Beetle, Dan Garret-archaeologist, who got his powers from a mystical blue scarab like Jaime?

Or are you talking about... Dan Garret-archaeologist? Who bore no resemblance to the ORIGINAL Blue Beetle: Dan Garret-cop, who was a fit guy with gadgets like... Ted Kord?

Mythostructural analysis teaches us that what a myth originally is, what you learned it as, and what it IS... are not the same things.

Scipio said...

"We knew Vibe was coming from the previews to Trinity War, but now we know that he's already operating somewhere."