Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Morrisonian Haiku

You all think I'm crazy, don't know? I hear you whispering about me. But it's true, I tell ya -- writers intentionally have their heroes speak in Heroic Haiku, knowing that, subconsiously, we'll perceive them as more heroic that way. The Dalai Lama told me so.

Besides, you think things like THIS happen accidently?

  • You misunderstand.
  • I'm here to help you with that.
  • Blow the hatch, Quintum!

Courtesy of Grant Morrison in All-Star Superman 1 (thanks to Jeff R for pointing it out).

As we all know, if Grant Morrison posted his grocery shopping list on the internet, within 24 hours fans would have it anagrammed into a subtle social satire on the commercialization of art leading to the commodification of ideas.

So, Morrisonians, what haiku can you compose to explicate or reply to Superman's heroic haiku?


Des said...

If Morrison wrote
"The Haunted Tank versus Scrooge
McDuck" I'd buy it.

Martin said...

If anyone wrote "The Haunted Tank versus Scrooge McDuck", it would be a bestseller.
I think only "Jonah Hex in: Gunfight at Duckburg" would outsell it.

Mike Loughlin said...

Get into Grant's head.
'Tween Kerouac and Kirby...
Brain cells sacrificed.

Left brain shutdown NOW!
Endless axon/dendrite space!
Go Hypermadness!

Brian said...

Sometimes craziness
Tells a freaking GREAT story
Superman, dying?!

Comic Irony?
How does a Superman die?
From Solar O.D.

Jimmy's fashion sense:
Orange helmet? Check.
Matching jet pack? Check. Argyle
socks? Quick! Call GQ!

Did anyone else
Notice that Quintum seems like
Willy Wonka's clone?

Luthor says:
I'm older, he's not
It's time to get real about
Killing superman.

I say:
I for one won't miss
The kryptonite robots and
the super death traps.

Here's a science fact
200 quintillion tons?
Over twice Moon-mass

Too many haikus...
Grammar and syntax failing...
Must...escape...this blog!

Jeff R. said...

Are you retarded?
I'm the goddamn Superman!
Eat my dust, Miller.

Scarlett Drake said...

Superman is now cool
After years of being dull
All praise Morrison!

Bill L. said...

Superman battles
The Vicious Mutant Son of
Violet Beauregard!

Haole said...

Classic Superman?
Mounted by a fat purple
naked pawn of Lex?

Die Superman! You
can see I am excited
by my glowing neon teats.

Sexual subtext
of suicidal lovin'
too hard to pass up

Martin said...

Oh, bollocks, it's all
In Haiku but I didn't
Quite notice it then

Nuts to all of that
Superman is bloody great
He just does his thing

That's all I would say
Someone's already used the
Goddamn Superman

Shane Bailey said...

Sentient sperm flies,
Morrison is writing this comic,
Weirdness abounds.

Anonymous said...

phone number lookup