The Wit and Wisdom of Jonah Hex!
''Muh Mammy alluz tol' me thet no matter how bad things look, thar's alluz a bright spot of hope somewhar! 'Course, Mammy never had tuh face a firin' squad.... "
Lesser humorists must struggle through with wit that is merely Shavian or at best Wildean. But some lucky few Americans are blessed with Hexian wit!
"Some day, when the frontier's a mite more civilized, women drivers is gonna be outlawed!"
Oh, he has a ruff and tumble exterior perhaps! But don't be fooled; Jonah Hex should be played not by a Clint Eastwood but a David Hyde Pierce!
"We wahr plannin' on leavin' soon as I finished muh strawberry shortcake!"
Bill Maher? Jon Stewart? Ham-fisted pikers!
"Durin' th' war twixt th'states Ah had jus' 'bout as much'a muh country's gratitude as Ah could stand! Damn near killed me, all thet gratitude!"
"We won ever' damn battle we wuz in! Cain't understand fer the life'a me how we managed to lose the whole blamed war!"
Politician: "I'm afraid this will mean a change in Washington's liberal Indian policies."
Hex: "Which one d'ya mean-- takin' their lands, killin' their braves, or starvin' their squaws and papooses?"
Daffy Duck? Jack Benny? Pshaw; we've got Jonah Hex!
"If'n you keep distractin' me thet way with all thet bawlin', Ah might fergit tuh ask fer thet five hunnert dollars yuh owe me!"
Eschew the cross-dressing antics of Milton Berle and Martin Lawrence in favor of ... Jonah Hex!
Don't read Jonan Hex for the enormous body count and frontier justice; read it for the knee-slappin' Western wit!
Really, folks, if you ain't readin' the new Jonah Hex or the Jonah Hex Showcase yer missin' out on a whole passel'a comic book goodness.