Wednesday, October 12, 2005


Here at the Absorbascon, we try to provide relief from the emphermeral controversies of the fanoverse by sticking to higher priorities.

When other blogs were discussing the death of Hawkeye, the Absorbascon discussed Night Girl's hair. When Dave's Long Box focused on Power Girl's boobs, the Absorbascon focused on her boots. When the internet debated Batman versus Green Lantern, the Absorbascon concentrated on Batman versus God and Green Lantern versus a ceiling tile.

In so, in anticipation of the discussion over the amazing revelations in this week's Villains United and Infinite Crisis, the Absorbascon will focus on--

ah, the heck with it.

Thanks to Devon, who erreth not, over at Seven Hells, I was mentally prepared for the final page of Infinite Crisis.

But I was not prepared for the mind-boggling revelations in Villians United, most of which I hadn't heard anyone theorize, yet all of which make so much sense.

  • The Calculator versus Oracle
  • The new Virtuoso
  • Deadshot versus Deathstroke
  • The amazing Mister Terrible (my new favorite villain after only one panel).
  • Ragdoll versus Ragdoll.
  • Knockout's revelation.
  • Luthor versus .... heh heh heh.
  • Parademon's gambit.
  • Catman versus Green Arrow.
  • Diana's declaration.
  • Dr. Polaris versus the Human Bomb.
  • Batman's REALLY RUDE comment.
  • Mongul versus Batman.
  • The Riddler and the Fisherman with the Red Panzer and Murmur.
  • Dr. Light versus the Ray.
  • The Human Bomb versus Bizarro.
  • OMAC versus the Rat-Catcher.
  • Nightwing's good luck.
  • Everyone versus Uncle Sam
  • The Psychopirate versus Damage.

It's a bad day to be in the DC Universe.

But it's a great day to be reading about it...


Anonymous said...





Hate Filled Poster said...

I can't wait to get off work and go read them.

Anonymous said...

No! Not the Rat-Catcher!

Scipio said...



Gail, you take that back!

Anonymous said...

I forgot to put my name. That was my Rat-Catcher comment.
Also, it was the Human Bomb versus Dr. Polaris, I thought.

Scipio said...

Hey, Robbie,don't jump to conclusions!

Maybe Rat-Catcher won.

You'll have to buy the book to find out.

Anonymous said...

IC#1: long on the inspirationals, heavy on the bullshit. I came to actively resent this issue as I was reading it, despite the fact that legitimately exciting stuff was happening, because the subtext of the entire thing was "Look at how these heroes bicker and argue - look how they've become so dark and foul! Only the spirit of a bygone age can save them now!" This line being fed to us, of course, by the same team of writers and editors that made all these characters so laughably dysfunctional in the first place.

And (SPOILERY SPOILER) does anyone NOT think this series won't end with all the people on the last page Dying Heroically? And if so, what exactly is the point of bringing them back, when they effectively died heroically at the end of the first Crisis? Do I even need to buy the rest of this series, or can I just chop up and remix the old Wolfman/Perez version?

Incidentally, when A.M. rears his ugly head, let the record show I so called it.

Anonymous said...

Hey, so did I call it on the offing of the Freedom Fighters or what? Although there's supposed to be a new FF series coming out post-IC, so who knows?

And yeah, Batman's comment was awful. ALL of their comments to each other were. That final scene with each other was painful.

OK, so what was the death toll from VU and Crisis this week (ie. body seen, no hints they might be alive)?

Black Condor II
Phantom Lady II
Dr. Polaris
The Human Bomb
Uncle Sam

Possibly Dead, or quite Wounded
Guy in White Coat caught in Virtuoso's blast
Killer Shark
Guy who looks like Yellowjacket
Talia Al Guhl
Weather Wizard

Did I miss anyone?

thekelvingreen said...

For some reason, Bizzaro beating someone to death really disturbed me. He's supposed to be a comedy character, isn't he?

What's next? The Bat-Mite raping Robin while Batman's on the moon?

Anonymous said...

Now that's something Dorkin inexplicably left out of World's Funnest...

I can't believe it's already Thursday morning and So So Silver Age hasn't run with this breaking Knockout development yet... maybe on hmm-hmm-mumble Friday..

Scipio said...

"Guy in White Coat caught in Virtuoso's blast" = Amos Fortune

"Guy who looks like Yellowjacket"= the Bug-Eyed Bandit

Hate Filled Poster said...

I bow before your DC knowledge Scipio. I didn't know who they were either.

I already miss Gail's VU series. Missed her on Action too. Loved Infinite Crisis though. It was a good week.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Scipio! You rock!

Anonymous said...

While I'm at it, let me make the additional, more specific prediction that when the Anti-Monitor shows up, Johns will use him to do for the DCU what the giant yellow space tapeworm did for Hal Jordan. "You were never REALLY 'dark' - you were just possessed by a bad guy!"

Anonymous said...

I've long been in a state of mild annoyance about the current Bizarro character. On a thematic level - yeah, he *should* be mostly a comedic character, but they've not infrequently portrayed him otherwise - and often as a rather nasty creature, as opposed to, say, a Frankenstein's Monster type.

The other irksome thing to me is treating him not as an "imperfect duplicate," but as Opposite Man, whose every utterance has to be parsed to its binary opposite. It just seems to me almost as big a misunderstanding of the character as Elaine's on *Seinfeld* (who asked Jerry "So, is Bizarro black? Does he live underwater?")

Anonymous said...

Crazy idea guys... let's just let them tell their story to completion, THEN decide if it's any good or not!

Oh wait, this is the internet, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

By the way Scip, wasn't that Psycho Pirate vs. The Ray? Zoom did Damage in I think...

Spencer Carnage said...

By the way Scip, wasn't that Psycho Pirate vs. The Ray? Zoom did Damage in I think...

Heaven forbid we should judge a periodical on a periodical basis.

Jeff R. said...

I think that Deadshot's survival of VU 6 means that the standard has to be that if you don't actually see something impale them through-and-through or hear the skull caving in, you'd better assume the character survives...

Anonymous said...

Deadshot DOES wear Kevlar, just throwing that out there.


Jeff R. said...

Sure, but Deathstroke knows Deadshot wears Kevlar and wouldn't have any good reason not to use Teflon/Armorpiercing or go for headshots...

(Unless the two were working together, of course...)

Hate Filled Poster said...

But Luthor could have taken everyone out while he was president with a few well placed nukes. (See what happens when you think about it too much?) Just read and have fun.

Anonymous said...

"let's just let them tell their story to completion, THEN decide if it's any good or not"

"To completion"? And when is this oh-so-infinite crisis going to be complete, exactly? Identity Crisis lead into Countdown which lead into four mini series and a JLA arc and a Superman/Wonder Woman crossover and a hundred tie-in issues which lead into this, which leads into "One Year Later" and "52." Are you so naive as to actually believe that any of this will end so long as people are buying this stuff?

There's also something to be said for a comic being a good read in and of itself, regardless of how it fits into a companywide "event." This is an alien concept to modern-day comic fans, I know, but try to stretch your imagination a little.

Scipio said...

Elephantine Room;

Judging from every comment you've ever made here, you don't seem to enjoy comics at all.

I suggest switching to something else.

Jon said...

Aw, I thought that was Deathbolt's head getting squished. I hate that guy.

Bolt I just don't care about, but Deathbolt is a schmuck.

Oh, and Scipio: right on about Batman being waaaay too rude to Superman. Funny how he didn't apologize to Clark, but immediately apologized(!) for his "Hal went nuts and killed a bunch of people" comment over in JLA.

Anonymous said...

Scipio: judging from your posts, you're either a multiple personality case or several different people with the same Blogger account. I try not to judge just by posts.

I like comics very much - just the good ones, though. I'll let you know if any turn up in this Crisis 2 business.

Anonymous said...

I agree that the Bizarro v. Human Bomb thing was disturbing. Particularly when they show a full scene (partially obscured) where HB is largely decapitated. Yuck.
One thing we need to understand is that Uncle Sam need not be dead, even though he was face-down in the water at the end. The theory, never proven, that he is somehow the "spirit of America" gives one hope that he may be unconscious but not dead.
And the argument between the Big Three after the throwdown with Mongul was just terrific. These are definitely not your father's Superfriends!