Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Crisis on Infinite Haikuesdays

Despite being hundreds of pages long, there is no heroic haiku in Crisis on Infinite Earths. The stuttering, self-pitying, sob-sisters of the Wolfmanverse do not speak thus.

There is, however, haiku of uselessness, ignorance, and doubt. Marv loves those.



"I do not know what
happened here ... do not know who
any of them were--"


Exactly the kind of pathetic, haltering haiku you'd expect from Pariah, one of the most fittingly named characters in comic book history.

PLEASE tell me you can do better than Pariah or at least make fun of him in haiku, so we can get SOME entertainment out of COIE!

16 comments:

Ragnell said...

Okay, today's post were three of the funniest I've ever seen. Would it be a breach of etiquette if I put up a permanent link to you from my site?

Scipio said...

Not at all! I'm honored!

bobby flashpants said...

Why am I cursed to
witness this pain, and use this
silly eye liner?

Bully said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bully said...

Hi! I'm Pariah
The new character find of
1985.

Kahn promised me my
own miniseries drawn by
Perez...What happened?

Me and Lady Quark
And Harbinger too, 'member?
Banned from DCU.

Blockade Boy said...

You think I'm crappy?
Wait 'til you get a load of
the New Guardians.

Haole said...

Don't die Monitor
who will listen to me whine
for eight more issues?

Ron said...

Think I was sad then?
Wait until you see me in
Villains United.

Des said...

I am Pariah.
My shroud is green, my hair is
purple. Please love me.

I spent all 12 parts
of Crisis drawn with my mouth
agape in horror.

Why must you all make
fun of me mercilessly?
It was the eighties!

Jeff R. said...

No heroic Haiku in the Crisis? I have to take that as a challenge. And a mighty one it was, with so few actual instances of heroism and Wolfman's penchant for polysylabic utterances that can't often be cut up into Haikus. But still, allow me to present the main character and hero of the Crisis, not the one and only but the original Superman, Kal-L:

Ugly, you may be
Right...but somebody had to
Clean up the Garbage!

rafi-el said...

Earths 3,X, and S
Destroyed for no reason. Yet
We're stuck with this schmoe

Des said...

rafi-el: awesome...

Ariel said...

There is now a hole
Where Pariah's stomach was.
Ouch, that's gotta sting.

Steve Mohundro said...

Why don't I have friends?
I am smart, clever, handsome.
Name is Pariah.

Aunty Monitor
It was terrible! Worlds died!
Oh! And Toto, too

Mike Loughlin said...

Th- The pain... of being
written... like a Chris Claremont
mutant...is... too great!!!!

Scipio said...

"I spent all 12 parts
of Crisis drawn with my mouth
agape in horror."

Me, too...