J'onn J'onnz is a shapeshifter. A lonely shapeshifter, since all the other (non-psychotic) Martians are dead. What does this mean?
That JayJay gets to make it with anyone or anything he can.
Where's the slash fic on THAT little subject, huh?
"Manhunter, how in the name of Rao did you defeat Starro singlehandedly?"
"I spent the night with him and made him my love-slave using the ancient Martian art of Psycho Sutra."
"Whoa, dude; TMI."
"So, no rope or manacle-based bondage was involved?"
"Starfish usually prefer mental domination scenes instead."
"You know, J'onn, Carol Ferris and I are having a little get-together with the Halls next week, and, if you're not doing anything..."
"Mhmph. If anyone wants me, I'll be in my cave..."
Okay, maybe not Starro, because starfish are hermaphroditic or monosexual or something like that. But you get the idea. "J'onn J'onnz, Defender of the Southern Hemisphere"? Sh'yeah, right! I'm betting nobody's Southern Hemisphere is safe when JayJay's around, wink wink.
J'onn. Arthur. Topo. Visiting alien space octopi from out of town. Shudder (link courtesy of faithful Joncormier). At least we now have a better understanding of why Aquaman & the Martian Manhunter are such good buddies. Poor Batman; he's the one who has to watch it all when he downloads the black box data from the Watchtower security monitors.
Hmphf. Come to think, Bruce probably likes to watch.
6 comments:
You know, the way Warren Ellis writes J'onn, I wouldn't be surprised if he's got an underage cephalopod sex slave or two chained up in his cellar...
Yeah, "angry, snotty J'onn"; what's with that, anyway?
Oh good, I'm glad I'm not missing anything skipping "New Maps Of Hell". I figured a title like that was too close to "Pain Of The Gods" to be any good.
Heh! :D
Ellis's J'onn frightened me, and I think I liked it. Somehow....
Warren Ellis definitely shared all his talent creating this. I don't know why this guy not continue doing more episodes of J'onn, they would be successful.
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