Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Lois's High-Impact Haiku


Oh, nice try, Lois! But you were so distracted by the attempt on your life, you forgot the seven-syllable caption would have to go in the MIDDLE of your other two lines. D'oh!

Still, impressive use of stuttering to add the extra syllable in the last line; no wonder you got a Pulitzer.

"A sniper's bullet ...
[and during a shopping trip]
b- barely missed me!"


If ya ask me, I think she over-reacted. No doubt it was simply the DCU's League of Fashion Assassins aiming for her ridiculous tamarind Coco Chanel pillbox hat, purely out of a sense of decency and devotion to a well-dressed society.

Poet-readers; if you were Lois (or an onlooker, or the sniper!), what haiku would YOU have composed upon this occasion?

17 comments:

rafi-el said...

Orange pillbox hat
Unmoved, stationary, fixed
Attached with epoxy?

Scipio said...

Fun! Extra syllablee in the last line though;

how about just

"Epoxy-attached?"

That'll do it@!

Shane Bailey said...

Oh crap she saw me!
Sniping sucks, bad guy loses.
Superman is here.

Lois stress relief,
Shopping, she sees a sale!
Bullet misses brain.

Gloved hands wave!
Panic strikes Lois Lane!
Orange! Cringe!

Shane Bailey said...

LoFA membership,
must stop the awful trends!
Kill the gloved one!

Shane Bailey said...

I hate the brick walls!
Topple them all! Each brick falls!
By my sniper's bullets!

Brian said...

Jimmy, perched atop a distant roof, mutters to himself:

Can't you see he's mine?
Superman loves me, not you!
Die, orange temptress!

Shortly following the bullet's KRACK!, Lois monologues:

My life theatened? Yes!
Hot Kryptonian lovin'
Is coming my way.

Superman, watching from low earth orbit, shakes his head.

Dammit! She still lives.
I want to date other girls...
I suck at break-ups.

kelmeister said...

So close he was--Death!
All I wanted was to buy
lipstick: to match suit.

Marionette said...

Each year at this time
The competition gets worse
January sales

rafi-el said...

Thanks Scipio.

How 'bout

Kurt Schaffenburger
Really ahead of his time
He knew "Krack" was whack

Blockade Boy said...

From the alleged sniper:

Almost hit someone!
Have to find better way to
Remove grafitti

Scipio said...

Okay, we're going to HAVE to make a website just for these...

David Lawson said...

Goddammit Lana
You had your chance in Smallville
Quit shooting at me

Scipio said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

John said...

Alas, poor building!
Struck down in its prime by a
badly-aimed bullet.

Des said...

Jimmy must have bad
aim since I'm only seven
feet away from him!

If only I let
him touch my boobs last weekend
he wouldn't be mad.

Scipio said...

Bonus points for putting the phrase "seven feet" in the middle of a haiku, Des!!!!

Des said...

Cheers! What can I say?
Poetic inspiration
found through Lois Lane

(pssst...that's also a
haiku...but sadly this is
not quite a haiku.)