Thursday, August 11, 2005

Character Donation #74



Well, I WAS going to wait on this one, but Devon at Seven Hells has made it difficult to pass up.

Yep.

The Flying Turd herself: Starfire.

"Oh, no! Starfire was part of what got me first turned on to comics!"

Sorry, fanboy; Starfire is simply what got your first turned on PERIOD.

Like any Marvel character, she's all about "the look".

She's Omaha the Cat Dancer with no tail and fewer clothes.

She fires ill-defined "energy blasts" from her clenched fists. Why? Cuz it looks good, I guess. It's the Marvel way.

She produces a "cool to draw" ill-defined energy trail.
From.
Her.
Hair.


The vacant manga eyes that scream "No one's home!"

The oh-so-convenient "I must never forget how I was abused" slave girl outfit. Ri-i-i-i-iight.

Oh, and, of course, the stupid pun-based name. No, not "Starfire"; "Koriandr". GODS! No wonder the Toon Titans won't even USE her "real" name.

Yeah, and the family-based character conflict with her evil sister. Yeesh, I half expect them to do battle over Major Nelson at some point.

CLEARLY a Marvel character who needs to go home.

Hey, Space Cabbie! Have I gotta fare for you!

18 comments:

Ariel said...

OK! I admit it! I NEVER liked Starfire ever.

In fact the New Teen Titans drove me nuts. Cyborg's petulant whining, UGH! Alright, Raven was kind of cool, and I always thought Gar would be kind of fun for a roll in the hay, but generally, the soapiness of it all made me feel like I'd eaten French Fries deep fried in goose fat.

Blech!

Scipio said...

See? Don't you feel better now? Let us be honest. It's the DC way.

Kitty said...

Ah! She _is_ Omaha the Cat Dancer!

And man, I've never seen a picture with her costume fully displayed like that. It's right up there with Vampirella's. So tacky. And I've never understood the comet-trail-hair.

Sign me up for the Starfire Haterz club!

Ashtur said...

Hm, I'm not quite as convinced.

Now, Comics Starfire. Yep, let her go and hang out with Frankie Raye. Oh, wait, Frankie is dead. Hmm.... there's an idea.

On the other hand, they've taken Starfire and turned her into 'ToonFire, who is an entirely different critter. By replacing her lusty/rage filled persona with an equally passionate, but essentially naive persona... she's actually, you know... Interesting

Scipio said...

Oh, Ashtur, I agree. The Toon Titan version of Starfire is fine.

In fact, she's hilarious and I'm fond of her. But if THIS character was ever THAT character, it's been forgotten.

Ariel said...

What's worst about her costume is when the bikini bottom is interpreted as a thong. I mean, for heaven's sake, just fight naked if you're going to wear that little clothing! Tacky.

IL said...

You and Devon appear to be doing different things here. Devon appears to be taking DC characters which "belong at Marvel" and putting them there in an effort to homogenize both Marvel and DC (presumably to make both companies more boring and less varied), while you seem to be dumping characters you think are crap at Marvel (presumably because you don't read Marvel and wouldn't have to see them again).

I can get behind the second, but the first is just goofy; while there's a certain aesthetic appeal to being able to say "Marvel's where all the superheroes are angsty and DC's where everybody's best buds and has sleepovers at Superman's tree house!", if this were true in reality it would make both companies fantastically dull - which is why it's not.

In either case, inconsistent criteria are definitely being applied to the character donations. This is not an argument for why the NKVDemon would make a good Marvel character; it's an argument for why he IS a shitty DC character.

naladahc said...

Ah Omaha the Cat Dancer... I remember your pr0n well.

Scipio said...

To each his own, IL.

Which is, I suppose, what Devon and I are trying to accomplish...

Sarah said...

She's such an embarrassment. Is Nightwing still running around in the Collar Too Gay for Disco? No! Is Speedy still wearing the purple harem pants? No! Let the girl get a new outfit, one equipped with a shred of dignity, please!

Shon Richards said...

But, but, I LOVE her.

Marionette said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Marionette said...

I reckon if you are going to ship Starfire off to Marvel you have to send the rest of the New Teen Titans too. The book was always DC's attempt to do Chris Claremont's X-Men.

Jeff R. said...

First Lobo, then Starfire...

Damn; one of you is going to ship off the entire Omega Men as soon as you get an accurate head-count of the group, aren't you? No love for Vegans around here...

Devon said...

Oh, you...you...

sonof...

fu...

motherfu....

You'll pay.

Devon said...

Hey, IL. Just don't read "Seven Hells!." Trees will still fall without you.

Scipio said...

Devon, I've read Wolfman's stuff ...

I've ALREADY paid!

Devon said...

Then you'll pay dearly.