Sunday, May 08, 2005

Flame On!

The time has come.

Nowadays, we have lots of female superheroes, even though until the Legion of Superheroes there were almost none. We have black superheroes, and while there aren't exactly lots of them, at least they're no longer required to be stereotypically "angry".

Gay superheroes are out there in the DCU; let's bring them together.

Firebrand, Blue Jay, Tasmanian Devil, Hero, the poorly named Off-Ramp, the vague and regrettable Josiah Power, even the legendarily disturbing Extrano. New gay versions of Madame Fatal, the Jester, Son of Vulcan, the Clock, the Red Gaucho, Captain Triumph, the Whip, the Red Bee, and, naturally, Mr. Scarlet and the Gay Ghost.

Let some heroes come out: Damage, Captain Marvel Junior, Airwave, Golden Eagle. Hey (other than Golden Eagle), they aren't being used for much of anything else. And Connor Hawke? Whatever! Kevin Smith's clumsiness notwithstanding, a small dollop of hypertime or "character development" could take care of that.

Let them interact with one another. Gay people, vastly outnumbered by straight ones, do seek one another out, you know. It would make for one wild miniseries, get lots of press, and probably attract many new readers (as opposed to the tawdry and temporary freakshow appeal of Marvel's Rawhide Kid series).

Go ahead! Flame me on this one...


Devon said...

Firebrand is not gay, just a li'l flamboyant.

Scipio said...

So...he's a flamer, you say?

naladahc said...

Firebrand? The Red Bee? Nahhhh.

Make Kon-El and Tim Drake gay and then you'd have something.

Anonymous said...

If they did that with Kon and Tim, I'd have something, too....

That's it for me! Good night! Tip your waitress!

But seriously....

Pre-crisis Vartox. That was Curt Swan at his most ... Swanning.

I know, I know, he was designed after Sean Connery in Zardoz. But you could put Connery in a beaded ball gown and he wouldn't ping my gaydar.

But Vartox, well. Let's review:

1. Thigh-high boots.
2. With a speedo. Naturally.
3. Bare chest, set off with an open bolero vest. That somehow manages, despite it's sleevelessness, to boast little epaulet-ridges.
4. The Mineshaft 'stache.

Come on.

Scipio said...

Vartox, oh, totally. But he was a bad guy, right?

Hm. So who ARE the natural enemies of the, um, Legion of Gay Superheroes?

Anonymous said...

Actually, pre-crisis Vartox was a good friend to Supes. Probably took Supes out to the bars, hoping to catch his cast-offs.

Well, the prerequisites for any foe of a gay superhero are pretty much the prerequisites for any foe of a gay non-superhero:

1. Humorlessness.
2. A rigid, inflexible....doctrine.
3. An inflated sense of self-importance.

Darkseid leaps to mind, but of course... thigh boots. So, he's out.

Ares is out, because there's plenty of gay soldiers and besides .... he's one very active Greek. (Ba-ZING! Tip your waitress!)

Sportsmaster, maybe?

Poison Ivy's seductive wiles wouldn't pose much of a threat, but her dishy stories about pills and booze with other super-villainess would keep the gay heroes distracted for HOURS.

Yeah, I got nothing.

Scipio said...

Oh, you're thinking opposites; I'm thinking counterparts.

But I'm hard-pressed to think of many supervillains who could sensibly be gay.

Although, I've always wanted them to reveal the Two-Face is BIsexual!

Anonymous said...

The Poison Ivy comment does raise a good point, though: where's the DCU's super-powered lesbians? (I mentioned powers so you couldn't just throw in Maggie Sawyer...)

Anonymous said...

Not too many Superdykes. Especially among the living.

You've got your standard-issue gay underrepresentation thing compounded with the fact that they also happen to be in that half of the comic book population more prone to end up in Frigidaires.

Case in point: Icemaiden was quite gay and is quite dead.

No, not too many dyke heroes. Dyke villains, however...

Hard to imagine Rosie of the Demolition Team, or Orca the Whalewoman, settling down with the man of their dreams. Those two should just get a pickup and a dog already.

Granny Goodness is fooling no one, and if Stompa, Lashina and the rest of the Female Furies ever tire of enforcing Darkseid's will, they could all just open up Apokolips' first organic food co-op together.

Anonymous said...

I kiss you man! You called Extrano "legendarily disturbing!" Yes...

However, I like Off-Ramp, dammit. He's like the anti-Extrano.

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Rufus said...

This can't truly have success, I suppose so.
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