Thursday, January 12, 2006

Hal's Head versus the Bar of Soap

Ah, I've been looking for an excuse to provide a medley of Hal's Head posts (not because I want to, you understand, but a reader specifically requested it, and I am the Slave of Duty).

Now, thanks to Ken Bricktosser, I've found my excuse: The Man Who Murdered Santa Claus. It was the first time John Stewart fought beside the JLA as Green Lantern; Hal Jordan was "unavailable".

Why was Hal unavailable, you ask? Because ...

Hal Jordan slipped on a bar of soap in the shower and hit his head.
Note that Hal painted his bathroom wall yellow. Smart guy.
Anyway, even his
RING was so embarrassed, it fled:

"RING HUMILIATION LEVEL AT 100%;
RECOMMEND EVASIVE ACTION."


You know, I couldn't make up stuff this good if I tried all day. Kill me now and I'll die happy.

I've said a lot of mean things about Len Wein (who wrote this story).

I take them all back.


Hal's Head as Political Allegory

Hal's Head as Feminist Metaphor

Hal Uses His Head

Hal's Head Versus the Daily News

Hal's Head as Architectural Satire

Hal's Head versus the Tree and the Toy Airplane.


Hal's Head versus the Advertising Industry

The Golden Age Takes Its Revenge Against Hal's Head

Hal's Head versus Seat 14-D.

Results of the Hal Poll

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Comments:
I just want to say I love this series. And I think it's hysterical to see this now, after so much hoopla about the return of the one "true" Green Lantern.
 
Thanks! I for one am DELIGHTED he's back.

MUCH funnier than Kyle...
 
This is my De-Lurking Week post. I would just like to say that reading your blog convinced me to abandon my Marvel ways and pick up a few books of Green Lantern.

It'll take me a few more months to work my way through it all, but only a few issues in, GL is showing me a better time than the X-Men ever have.

Thanks, Scipio. :D
 
I love that you get such use out of that panel. :-) Looking close you can even see my half-assed attempt to blacken out the tiny corner of a word bubble at the bottom. :-)

I want to see the previous pictures too...shower scenes are fun! :-)
 
And....here you go. Hal in all his klonking glory

http://img71.imageshack.us/my.php?image=jla110hal7of.jpg
 
Sleestak, I love ya.

I will amend this post with that photo, and thus completing my life.
 
Ok, I'm gonna de-lurk for you all with this link...
http://www.hembeck.com/Dateline/DancingGreenLantern.htm
 
Thank you very much, Geoff.

That's going to come in handy, much more than you realize...
 
Thank you for continuosly linking me
 
Hey, thanks for the shsout out!

WOuld you mind making that a link? I could use the traffic!
 
The one thing better than Hal Jordan slipping on a bar of soap in the bathtub is his head making a "clung" sound when it hits porcelain.

Beautiful.
 
I remember reading that story way back when (I really don't want to know how long ago it actually was) but I didn't remember why John was there instead of Hal. Now I know, and I can't say I'm that surprised at the reason.
 
And people wanted him back... why, again?
 
Tim -- Umm... because of that.

Well, other things, but also that stuff. Clumsy is endearing.

One day I plan to write a Why I Adore Hal post, but I have work early tomorrow.

But thank you for this, Scipio. You are wonderful! I had never noticed this tendancy before, and it's only served to deepen my enjoyment of the character.
 
Hey, I wanted Hal back, and I'm the one who pointed out this story to Scipio. Call m a glutton for punishment.
 
Say what you want about Hal's getting hit on the headness, I'm impressed he could fall, get knocked unconscious, and keep his towel on.

I bet after that "adventure," Hal made some shower shoes with his ring.
 
That billboard sequence...make the laughing stop...it was priceless. I'm going to forward that link around.

Plus, Jackass is probably my favourite word in the whole wide world. I'm happy it won the poll.
 
"reading your blog convinced me to abandon my Marvel ways and pick up a few books of Green Lantern."

Excellent...!
 
I can't believe nobody has commented on the fact that Hal is going on a date on Christmas Eve.

Is that a big date night?
 
Dude. Who keeps soap on the floor?

Also: despite the fact that he's rushing out of the tub and quickly grabbing a towel, he still manages to tuck it around himself (as he's falling unconscious!) so it covers him when he collapses.

Oh, those Silver Age boys are so modest.
 
"Is that a big date night?"
Every night is a big date night when you're Hal Jordan.

"Dude. Who keeps soap on the floor?"
Kyle Rayner?

"Oh, those Silver Age boys are so modest."
Hal is NOT modest. But if people want to see THAT, Hal makes 'em pay; unconscious or not, there are no freebies.
 
I forgot to mention:

Dick Dillin was the m)%&#%f*#(*&^ MAN!
 
"Dude. Who keeps soap on the floor?"
Kyle Rayner?


As the Rampage used to say:
Scipio wins.
 
*squeal*

Oh, this is wonderful. I thought I hated Hal Jordan -a lot- but that's before I knew how prone he was to head injuries. Somehow, thinking about his frequently-concussed self, I have softened.

Thank you, Scipio!
 
See, H.E.A.T. members? I am INCREASING love for Hal Jordan.

Not respect perhaps, but love...
 
It is perhaps worth mentioning that Hal's speaking in haiku there in the first two panels:

Never fails! Step in-
to the tub -- and somebody's
bound to call you -- ooopps!

Never mind Buzz Lightyear, *that's* falling with style.
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
That's...

That's the, uh...

Well, it's priceless, anyway. One of DC's mainstay Big Seven heroes, the wielder of the Most Powerful Weapon In the World... slipping on the soap.

Scipio, your blog is single-handedly making comics fun again.
 
Sleestak; I'm hiding your comment because I'm going to use what you send.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

Thank you very much: and I will credit you when I do...
 
This can't have effect in actual fact, that's exactly what I think.
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