Okay, now this post is chockful of spoilers for JLA 242, so those of you who haven't had the chance to get to the comic book store since September 1985, you have been warned.
In this issue, Gypsy is eaten by a bear.Ha, ha! I got ya! Gypsy, who walks without shoes or socks through the ghettoes of Detroit, scares the creature away by showing it her feet. Barefoot, 1: Bear claw, zero.
Meanwhile, in another part of the woods, a sexually frustrated Zatanna's booty still burns brightly for Dale Gunn.
"How dare you cast me aside for that bead-braided trollop, Dale Gunn!" she smoulders. "See me burn with passion in the Naughty Schoolmarm outfit I wore in the underground film Headmistress of Hotath."
Hotath's Rings:ribbed for your pleasure. Should have pulled those out sooner, Zee. Dale Gunn might not have left you.
Just kidding! Actually, I don't know what Hotath's Rings are. Just part of the whole "Marvelization" of Zatanna, where she spouts silly Dr. Strange-isms, throws herself at colleagues, and blathers on about her Homo Magi genes as the source of her abilities. Oh, Zee, somebody named Wanda's on the phone, asking you to return her schtick.
Okay, now I'm spoiling the ending of JLA 242! HERE IT IS:
Yes, it's three panels of Vixen, sitting in the dark (you can tell that's Vixen, right?). There are actually four panels like this, but I figured you'd get the idea. Oh, and for you sharp eyed artist types ... you're right! I did, in fact, accidently rotate those panels the wrong way, so they are upside down. Sorry.
Well, as dramatic as that finale is, I was more impressed by other developments in the storyline. Ya see, in this issue, Vixen and Vibe perfect their soon to be patented battlecries.
"Brother Roadrunner, lend me your sound effects!" Vixen prays. Kheeww? No one knows quite what Vibe is trying to say, but that's generally the case, battlecry or not.
In other heartstopping action, Aquaman finds a comb and the Martian Manhunter (never the most stable person) starts to think he's an Injun Brave in one of those old Tom Mix movies he used to watch alone in his Colorado apartment every night in the 1950s.
J'onn! J'onn, come back us to now. We'll ... we'll give you another series. Yeah. No, no, the guys at editorial are serious this time. There ya go, big fella!
But I think the most memorable part, the scene that I'll treasure for the remainder of my days is this one, a little feature called Steel versus Amazo.
Why the HELL is this series not in trade paperback yet? Entire generations are being deprived!