Thursday, December 01, 2005

What "Green Lantern" is Missing

I really am enjoying the new Green Lantern series (probably because I'm a boring person; I'm told boring people like Geoff Johns's work). That's a big surprise to me because, let's face it, I'm not exactly known as a big Hal Jordan fan.

But there's something missing. It needs more scenes like these:


Lots of them. Like, at least one per story.

32 comments:

Nims said...

I know nothing about comics but that was funny!

nims

Derek B. Haas said...

Why does Geoff Johns polarise opinion at all? I was recently having a discussion with an old chum, and we agreed that Johns is a consistent, stable workhorse of a writer, but neither extraordinarily good nor extraordinarily bad. He's not boring (that would be, er, bad writing), but he has yet to utterly rivet me in the way that Alan Moore does, or physically implant electrodes on the sections of my brain that govern joy like Grant Morrison did some time in the late '90s; nor has he produced anything astonishingly terrible that I've read, like, uh, that Mutant X guy did--Howard something.

Having made the exact same point some three or four sentences in a row, I'll close by reiterating the first: Why do people have such extreme views of Geoff Johns?

CalvinPitt said...

I think Johns has is a polarizing figure in comics because it seems like he writes half the freaking books in DC. Hell, I'm half convinced he runs the company. Now I just need to threaten him till he agrees to keep Batgirl going, what was I talking about?

Oh yeah, I think it's just because he's everywhere. The people who liked all along still like him, the people who weren't sure are probably sick of feeling like Johns is being crammed down their throats.

Chaz Ervin said...

Most of the Johns-haters I've encountered dislike old-school superheroics in general, which is what Johns does.

Monkey In Blender said...

See, Scipio, you want me to think Hal's just a stupid putz for slipping on a waxed floor and knocking himself unconscious, but I happen to know that he slipped on a waxed floor and knocked himself unconscious because a giant yellow space tapeworm made him do it.

Speaking of which...

I think Johns has is a polarizing figure in comics because it seems like he writes half the freaking books in DC.

That's pretty much it. I can ignore most any other single DC writer, and don't deny that half of them are worse than him, but it's damn hard to get around him these days. He's the Bendis of DC: his stuff is workmanlike, ubiquitous, and is filled with a number of tics that drive me batty. I'd be happy not to read either of them ever again - and I haven't for months, honest - but they both keep doing stuff to characters I do want to read. I don't want to wish them harm, so here's hoping they both land sweet movie deals and end up writing wildly successful, horribly shitty action flicks.

And no, Scip, of course you're not boring, you're just prejudiced against yoctospheres. You realize that's bigotry, don't you - bigotry against yoctospheres - and it's just plain wrong. When Leo Quintum reveals himself in issue #12 to be an Nth-grade fictioneer sent by Editrons to penetrate the masturbabrane into Superman's worldpanel to perform an emergency plot-o-suction, we have to accept that that's just the condition he was born with and it's not for us to judge.

Al Ewing said...

Ah, Geoff Johns.

Every Geoff Johns book I've read has this terrifying flatness to it. It's not as bad as James Robinson - we're not made to feel like bad humans for not appreciating a movie reference from the 1950s - but it's still so lifeless, like a day-old chunk of herring deposited in my martini while I wasn't looking. He's almost readable but not quite, and in a time when Pete Milligan is alive, that's just not good enough.

I don't like to beat a dead horse, but Johns is just not zarjaz.

That said, nobody who could display a man falling on his arse with such infinite grace could be boring. You're too beautiful for this modern world, that's your trouble.

Scipio said...

"When Leo Quintum reveals himself in issue #12 to be an Nth-grade fictioneer sent by Editrons to penetrate the masturbabrane into Superman's worldpanel to perform an emergency plot-o-suction"

Oh my god, that is TOTALLY where Morrison must be going with this!

How could I have been so blind!!!!

Bully said...

giant yellow space tapeworm

Why take the complicated explanation? I'm actually guessing Hal slipped on a pat of butter.

Scipio said...

By the way, for the record....?

This post was for RAGNELL.

Monkey In Blender said...

I'm actually guessing Hal slipped on a pat of butter.

Butter is yellow, after all.

Andrew Burton said...

Butter is yellow, after all.

Should we then be afraid of it?

K26dp said...

Seems to me that it is really in the insular world of the blogosphere that Johns is polorizing. He is what he is, a solid, workmanlike writer with an appreciation for classic characters and lots of ideas that are finding a receptive audience in Dan Didio. He's not Alan Moore, he's not Grant Morrison, he's not even Gardner Fox... and he'd probably be the first to say so.

Al Ewing said...

I always thought the perfect trap for Hal would be if he was sealed in a glass vat of urine. It would be yellow. And the taste would distract him fatally.

Of course, it would only make dramatic sense if the urine had been passed by SINESTRO.

Monkey In Blender said...

I always assumed that Sinestro's urine would be a bright, unearthly shade of pink, thus leaving his micturarial stream vulnerable to a well-placed blast from a GL ring - in yet another terrible twist of Comic Book Irony.

Haole said...

If Hal is constantly getting hit in the noggin by ceiling tiles, airplanes, and the floor, why doesn't he use his power ring to create a safety helmet? Even bicyclists wear them.

Mark Fossen said...

He's not Alan Moore, he's not Grant Morrison, he's not even Gardner Fox... and he'd probably be the first to say so.
He's Roy Thomas.

And I really liked Roy Thomas.

Ragnell said...

Thank you, Scipio!

Hal Jordan's head falls,
collides with the floor like an
empty coconut

Imagining the sound makes me feel all fuzzy inside.

My very first Haiku -- what do you think?

Al Ewing said...

Genius!

Though it isn't haiku, there's some poetic metre in Carol's reaction.

Oh my, he fell
slipped on the floor
knocked himself out


(Sorry about the comments above, btw. I'd been drinking and some of them look very snide and unpleasant in the cold light of day. Hope I didn't cause any offence.)

Martin said...

The Great Hal Jordan
Emerald Gladiator
None Can Defeat Ground

Daniel said...

Green Lantern versus
that waxy yellow build-up:
Over in one panel

Derek B. Haas said...

God damn it, Jordan!
When you make a green jumpsuit,
Give the boots traction!

Anonymous said...

Johns's big flaw is predicability. He writes JSA like he writes Teen Titans and like he wrote Avengers. After a while you know to expect that a long-forgotten character will be reintroduced, someone will start talking about their gimmick metaphorically, and how many "is ___ really dead?!" moments there will be. And of course the Goeff Johns Shocking Last Page Reveal.

You can set your watch by a Johns plot.

Derek B. Haas said...

Which is ironic (as is his love of Hourman, come to think of it), since I find his portrayal of passage of time to be lacking. It's a facet of the medium to some extent, but I notice it especially with Johns. Black Reign is a rollicking tale that takes place over, what, three days? Five? Two? Regardless, while reading it, I found that it felt like a few hours of plot. It never conveyed the weight of several days' experience to me--and I find that to be pretty characteristic of Johns comics.

Scipio said...

Nice one, Daniel; VERY nice.

Tim said...

Um I hate to be a hate to be a stick in the mud, but that isn't Hal Jordan slipping. It's the evil fake green lantern, they even un-mask in the next page. On the plus side it shows how fickle Carol is, because when she see's how ugly he is she dosn't like him any more.

kelvingreen said...

Geoff Johns has written bad stuff. Red Zone in Avengers, for example.

But generally, he's just a really dull writer. And it's not that I don't like old-fashioned superheroics, because I like Busiek's writing a lot.

Harvey Jerkwater said...

His run on The Flash was damn good for a while. He got too entangled in the minutia of continuity and ended his time with the slurry of nonsense that was "Rogue War," but man, those first arcs were good.

Besides, he was the first person to give Keystone City any damn character. I love when writers make the fictional cities unique. Keystone is now a blue-collar manufacturing town big on hockey? Nice. And it matches the character of the Flash himself.

Bitchin', yo.

Scipio said...

Tim: Shhhh!!!

The Thing That Walks Like a Man said...

Geoff Johns made the Flash's Rogues' Gallery into the villains they ALWAYS should have been. He finally gave them depth, respect, and some serious oomph.

For that, he has my eternal gratitude.

Tim said...

Well it's not like you don't have a plethora of other things to choose from. Getting knocked out by a lamp, the 84 billion times he's taken out by guys who can't even shoot well, or how all the aliens who aren't green lantern look like they defected from the Rannian army, or how he almost lost to a guy because he was wearing a yellow shirt.

And thats just the first half of showcase...

MarkAndrew said...

"Geoff Johns made the Flash's Rogues' Gallery into the villains they ALWAYS should have been. He finally gave them depth, respect, and some serious oomph.

For that, he has my eternal gratitude."

Yeah, but Cary Bates did it first.

(Which is my general problem with Geoff Johns. I always have this beeeen there, doooone that, bought the T Shirt, fought the Super-Gorilla
feeling after reading his work.)

Although I'm liking his recent stuff better. His dialouge, previously often rip-my-hair-out-and-bash-my-head-on-the-window in PAIN terrible has gotten much, much better in Infinite Crisis 'n
the last Flash trade than it was in, say, the first few JSA books.

Anonymous said...

IT WASN'T A PAT OF BUTTER...IT WAS A YELLOW BANANA SKIN!

PAUL K. S.