Thursday, December 08, 2005

"Please your lover around the clock!"

Ever wonder how Hal Jordan maintains his rep as the DCU's top man-tramp? It ain't Viagra, kiddies. You don't need Viagra when you've got ... a power ring.



Harder, indeed! Yep, the ring's got powers the comics barely hint at.

"Any blasting done around here --
I'm going to do it!"


Goodness! Let me open a window, it's getting a bit warm in here!

I'm beginning to understand the appeal of Hal Jordan, particularly when he brings his ring into play in the form of a giant blasting fire hose. Where's my H.E.A.T. application?

Boy howdy, charge that ring up and Hal's got the energy to power on for a full 24 hours. The man's a round the clock party; no wonder he needs a Space Bubble of Love for his constant conquests.

He should be careful, though; Sinestro, too, figured out how to use the ring to achieve social prowess. That's why the Guardians finally took the ring from him.

Yep, it was because Sinestro had started to wear his ring ....
somewhere other than on his finger.

7 comments:

Chris said...

Sinestro makes me feel dirty.

Amy said...

Now, see, it's Hector Hammond that makes me go "bad touch! bad touch!", personally.

But damn it, boy, now you make me want to scan and post the issue during Englehart's run where Guy Gardner uses his ring to get all the other GLs drunk and horny.

Seriously.

Scipio said...

"where Guy Gardner uses his ring to get all the other GLs drunk and horny."

Huh. Of course he did ...

why should he be the only one?

Amy said...

He spikes their drinking water.

I swear to God, the fanfiction writes itself sometimes...

Ariel said...

Green Cockring. Lovely and functional!

Mallet said...

Huh...

So GL's ring could do anything, why would he even need to "augment" anything. Couldn't he just point and yell "Bam!" and get the job done?

But noooooo Hal and Sinestro need to do this the hard way. Pun fully well intended.

jamawalk said...

Sure, the bed thing IS dopey. I mean, you're in the weightless vacum of space and so a bed is silly, especially one as uncomfortable looking as the one he wips up.

Fire hoses, on the other hand, can prove indespensable to a goverment thug/tool of the man like Hal Jordon.

You think those protesters are gonna disperse themselves?