Well, it's the holiday shopping season! Time to brave the downtown crowds or shopping malls. Cheer up! It could be worse; you could be Batman...


You think you've got it tough? Try picking a gift for someone who can turn lumps of coal in diamonds, particularly in the Gotham malls, which are crowded with depression-era street toughs and footpads shopping for bosses who will kill them if they don't like their gift.

"Pardon me, citizen; I was about to buy that item for my friend, the Man of Steel."

"Nice outfit. Well, yer boyfriend is gonna hafta settle fer sumpthin' else, bud; this one's mine."

"Holy hardcases, Batman! That's the last set of earmuffs in Superman's size!"

"Thank you, Boy Wonder, I know. Sir, I implore you in the name of all that it is decent -- yield that loot.

"Gosh, yes, or we'll hurl our batarangs!"

"Okay, buddy, I'm about to sic store security on you and yer 'boy wonder' if you don't back off now."

"My apologies, sir; it's merely Robin's youthful yuletide enthusiasm. Here; shake; and no hard feelings."

Thud.

"Holy heart failure! What's wrong with him, Batman?"

"It's alright, Robin; just a topical neurotoxin hidden in my gauntlet. He'll regain motor control before the mall closes. Quickly -- grab the muffs, chum; we haven't one moment to lose. "