Friday, December 02, 2005

Batshopping

Well, it's the holiday shopping season! Time to brave the downtown crowds or shopping malls. Cheer up! It could be worse; you could be Batman...


You think you've got it tough? Try picking a gift for someone who can turn lumps of coal in diamonds, particularly in the Gotham malls, which are crowded with depression-era street toughs and footpads shopping for bosses who will kill them if they don't like their gift.

"Pardon me, citizen; I was about to buy that item for my friend, the Man of Steel."

"Nice outfit. Well, yer boyfriend is gonna hafta settle fer sumpthin' else, bud; this one's mine."

"Holy hardcases, Batman! That's the last set of earmuffs in Superman's size!"

"Thank you, Boy Wonder, I know. Sir, I implore you in the name of all that it is decent -- yield that loot.

"Gosh, yes, or we'll hurl our batarangs!"

"Okay, buddy, I'm about to sic store security on you and yer 'boy wonder' if you don't back off now."

"My apologies, sir; it's merely Robin's youthful yuletide enthusiasm. Here; shake; and no hard feelings."

Thud.

"Holy heart failure! What's wrong with him, Batman?"

"It's alright, Robin; just a topical neurotoxin hidden in my gauntlet. He'll regain motor control before the mall closes. Quickly -- grab the muffs, chum; we haven't one moment to lose. "

14 comments:

Derek B. Haas said...

What, are you festive? Are you full of jollity or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the Yuletide Batman.

N said...

That's another thing Sterling can add to his list of things we don't see Batman doing much anymore:
Shopping at the goddam mall in full costume. "I'm a humorless, dark creature of the night! Do you have these slacks in XL?"

Anonymous said...

Look at that cape!

They must really have their A/C cranked up in that store.

Dave said...

I think the cape is due to Bats running over to the puzzles in excitement.

That, or he had the chili special in the store's cafeteria.

Al Ewing said...

This is what IC is all about, surely.

"I looked in all the stores for ideas, and then I thought - that's it! I'll build him an implacable foe. Happy Birthday, Clark!"

Tim said...

Actually I think the two people in the back are the most interesting. It looks like the woman is telling the man something entertaining.

"I think it's just precious that they let they let him do his own shopping."

Anonymous said...

I bet that's a display of Kryptonite puzzles.

MarkAndrew said...

"Quickly -- grab the muffs, chum;"

No reason, I just had to quote that so I can see it in print again.

'Cause, y'know, Superman NEEDS muffs in space.

Sleestak said...

I really doubt Robin will grab any muffs given the opportunity

Ragnell said...

I just wonder what he says wen he gives them the credit card. I mean, does he actually have a card under name "The Batman"? Because I can't imagine what the clerk would say to getting Bruce Wayne's Plantinum VISA.

Scipio said...

Batman pays cash.

Ragnell said...

scipio -- He carries that much cash? In Gotham?!

Oh wait, he's Batman, not a cop. He won't get mugged.

Martin said...

After seeing your "join me in the Batcave" frame, I was quite surprised to see that you hadn't put this panel up yet. This is superior comedy. I like the slight awe/bewilderment of the staff.

Word verification: Icema! It's Iceman, cut short.

Scipio said...

" I was quite surprised to see that you hadn't put this panel up yet. "

Comedy is all about



timing, Martin.