Speak My Name!

Through my name, you are given the powers of these six mighty heroes!


the wit of Simone


the chiaroscuro of van Honthorst


the transquartomuralism of Archie


the semiotics of Zot!


the absurdity of Ambush Bug


the violence of Miller

Why We Love the Phantom Stranger IV

Not because the Phantom Stranger pulls this sort of thing.



But because the Phantom Stranger pulls this sort of thing off.

Blogging in The Holiday Spirit

Well, you clearly have a snarky algorithm that's all your own. That must explain your great popularity. What justifies your presumption in judging me (or motivates your apparent need to do so), however, I cannot fathom.

Scipio

P.S. As for the delay, that's due to the fact that I don't read your blog any more, it seems, than you read mine. That's probably for the best.

-----Original Message-----
From: Greg Morrow [mailto:dr.elmo@whiterose.org]
Sent: Tuesday, December 19, 2006 10:13 AM
To: scipio.garling@verizon.net
Subject: Re: your own snarky algorithm

4.5. Generally low-wattage flame. Points off for the grammatical mistake

in the second sentence. Small upmark for the superior tone in the

assumption that I've never read your site, but that's called back by the

delay in your own response.

Thanks for reading!

Greg

Scipio wondered aloud:

>

>Lame Listmaking

> by Greg

>

>Via James Nicoll, the

>Top Ten

>Lamest Superheroes of All Time.

>

>There is nothing insightful in the list, which is generated by essentially

>the same snarky algorithm that determines the content on Ironic Age sites

>like the Absorbascon and Chris's Invincible Super-Blog. I'm not saying

>that Vibe's not worth ridiculing; I'm saying that there's nothing

>surprising or insightful in doing so.

>

>My list would include characters like Skateman, Badrock, and Night

>Thrasher, or maybe Rage, and my list isn't surprising or insightful, either.

>

>Posted by dr.elmo@whiterose.org Greg at November 16, 2006 2:35 PM

>| TrackBack

>

> If you had ever actually read my site, you would know that I champion Vibe

>specifically. It seems you mistaken that I operate by the same "snarky

>algorithm", and I resent your statement that I do.

>

>Perhaps your own "snarky algorithm" needs improvement...

>

> Scipio.

Supersize Her!

There are so many things that made me happy this week in comics. Why, the Dr. Thirteen story and the Infinite Holiday Special themselves made being alive worthwhile, in so many ways.

• Traci Thirteen's evening gown and dinner selection.
• I, too, love Bat-Santa.
• Tawky Crawky's public debut.
• "PULSAR Master of Sound"

But nothing made me happier than Wizard.

Unlikely, no?

Specifically, this (from an interview with Adama Hughes, writer and artist on the upcoming All-Star Wonder Woman):

The six-issue arc will even feature the debut of an Adam Hughes-pencilled, plus-sized, junk-food-eating hero -- original Wonder Woman sidekick Etta Candy. "I'm desperate to have her in there and to work in 'Woo! Woo!' at one point," he laughs.

Monkey Questions

Who do you think Supernova is?

Redesign the female supehero body!

Who is your preacher?

The Absorbascon Answers the Big Questions

Is Batman crazy?

No. Modern comic readers are trained (by Marvel comics) to think of characters in terms of the on-going psychological damage of traumatic events. This makes them incapable of perceiving someone like Batman as anything other than "damaged goods".

Writers who continually show Batman denying himself normal pleasure or as shut off from normal human interactions foster this narrow perception of the character. As an antidote, read some Golden Age Batman. The Golden Age Batman didn't deny himself a full life in order to be Batman; becoming Batman is how he enjoyed life to its fullest.

Sadly, the concept that people might seek fulfillment in devoting themselves to the safety or betterment of society rather than personal pleasure is lost on many readers today, which is why they don't understand Batman. Batman is merely a dramatic extension of people like policeman, fireman, paramedics, etc. If Batman is 'crazy', then so are they.


Is Superman too powerful to be interesting?

No. Readers who think of comics mostly as a slugfest between opposing characters, a hero and a villain (or, if you read Marvel, two heroes) think of Superman as boring because "no one can beat Superman". Even on those limited terms, Superman is not "boring", because there are many characters who have beaten him, and many ways to do so. Just recently, Superman was hopelessly outclassed by the Collector and was only able to "defeat" him through a combination of guts and guile.

But the real trick to Superman is putting him in situations where his powers aren't overwhelmingly useful. Again, in the Golden Age, they knew how to do this. Clark Kent often came up against stories -- corruption among government contractors, poor working conditions, domestic abuse -- based on socioeconomic problems rather than crazed supervillains. Such problems are not so easily punched away.

In the Silver Age, they took a different tack. There, Superman's challenge was often about how to use his enormous powers subtly and without detection, so as to protect his secret identity. That's why his supporting cast plays a disproportionate role in his mythos.

Try this experiment. Pretend, for the next day or so, that you have all of Superman's powers. Now, acting as a hero, what exactly can you do? Solve world hunger? Stop all crime in your city? End poverty and injustice? All while living your regular life?

If you think about that for a while, you'll see there are a great many challenges even for a hero as powerful as Superman.


Is Wonder Woman a lesbian?

No. It's fairly safe to assume the bulk of women in her home of Themyscira are lesbian (at least, situationally so, as they have been living there without men for thousands of years). But growing up with gay people doesn't mean one is going to be gay, any more than growing up with straight people means one is going to be straight.

Wonder Woman's romantic/sexual interest in men is pretty plain, even in the Golden Age, with the ridiculous focus on woman-on-woman bondage and submission (which was clearly more about the sexual interests of her creator than the character herself). Her motivation for leaving Paradise Island is that she is smitten with Steve Trevor, and she wastes much of her personal time trying to gain his interest. Since then, she has repeatedly been portrayed as interested in whether men find her attractive, and has had an intimate, physical on-going relationship with at least one male character; the same cannot be said of her and female characters.

While Wonder Woman would probably be open to lesbian relations, she has consistently portrayed as being sexually interested primarily in the opposite sex.


Is Green Lantern really an idiot?

Yes.

Fishclix: The Attack School

As requested. As promised. More fishclix! They go well with your Aquaman heroclix (and butter).

As before, the Aquaman symbol means they have the Finny Friends Ability (aquatic movement, and, as long as Aquaman's still in play, willpower and battle fury). They have JLA Team Ability to allow them free movement; Peter the Pufferfish lobbied hard for that.

Our previous little school of fishclix were primarily defensive. This one isn't.

The swordfish. Nothing fancy! It charges at you; it stabs you; it hurts. Unless you are Invulnerable or Impervious, of course.

The hammerhead. It charges at you; it hits you in the head, as comic book hammerheads do; it hurts. Same conditions as above.

Speaking of hurt ... although no one asked for it, I thought this set wouldn't be complete without a shark.

Don't be disappointed when you notice that the shark has a zero damage value; he's got Blades/Claws/Fangs as his attack power. I suppose, in this case, we can just call it "Fangs", eh?

Anyway, with his "Fangs" he can do more than a little damage, if he gets lucky. But, remember that, since he has no intrinsic damage value, he's vulnerable to having his Fangs countered by an opponent's Outwit; sharks aren't very smart.

The electric eels. Zap! They use Quake to hurt all adjacent opponents and send them flying. I considered it inappropriate to use Pulse Wave because that can harm those who are Invulnerable or Impervious. Eels cannot harm Superman, people!

And, oh, yes ... the whale.

The whale is the world's first Giant Pog, I suppose; it occupies four squares at a time. Sure, it's an easy target, but it's got Toughness. And with Charge plus an intrinsic damage value of 4 ... well, let's just say you should really try to avoid getting hit by the whale. Ouch.

Criminal Genius

Okay, I can honestly say that didn't --and wouldn't have-- occurred to me.

Gotta go to the store and check this out. Better take a flamethrower.

You know.

Just in case.

Hating Looker: A Full-Time Job

Looker.

Looker, Looker, Looker.

You know, I'm really hard-pressed to imagine what one could do to make "Jean Grey knockoff" character like Looker worse.


Secret magical heritage from an underground kingdom (with a pun-based name, of course)? Powers activated by Halley's friggin comet? Name that rhymes with "hooker"? Career as a model? Violently aggressive eyeshadow that would embarrass a drag queen? Costumes that would embarrass a 30th century prostitute? Severe vanity, enslavement to the idealized female body image, and general offensiveness to women?

A bow?

Oh, I know! She needs a connection to some trite overused but completely unrelated monster mythos; let's make her a vampire.

According to the Comic Treadmill, Mike Barr wanted Looker's origin to read like a pulp adventure. Wow. Given that, I have to upgrade Barr. I used to think he had Olympic-level "Missing the Mark" abilities; now I realize that they were, in fact, superhuman "Missing the Mark" abilities, far beyond those of ordinary men.

Is it any wonder Batman left the title immediately after her origin arc? "I'm going back to Gotham, " Batman was heard to say, "where people like this are my enemies, not my allies."

Looker, at least, gave us One Shining Moment, when she was blown up by Breach in Infinite Crisis; I laughed so hard, milk came out my nose, which was surprising since I wasn't drinking any at the time.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, Exhibit 19 in the People v. Enemy of Society Mike W. Barr: Hooker, the Girl Gift Wrap.

Hating Katana

Oh, how could one not hate poor Katana? By pitying her, I suppose...

She's clearly one of those characters from those parlor games they play at DC's annual Klordny Party. You know, where the editors point at a writer and artist standing together at the punch bowl and say: "A new character! Female hero! Thirty seconds! Go!"

"Quickly, Jim!" the writer says knowing well enough when to use adverbs. "Draw one of those clay Chinese guard statues."

"Heroic red and yellow?" the artist mumbles, lurching for his sketchpad.

"Whatever," the writer agrees, "just give her .... a sword. A big shiny sword."

"Wht yr gnna c'l ur, M'k?" the artists asks, gripping a yellow pencil between his teeth.

"Let's see, a sword ..." mutters the writer. "KATANA! We'll call her Katana, after her weapon! And she'll be a Japanese martial artist with ties to the Yakuza and a trained samurai with twins and an ancient mystical sword that itself has an evil twin..."

"5 seconds left!"

"Hey, wait," the artist says, "Is this a Chinese costume or Japanese?" The writer hisses back, "I dunno, just superimpose a Japanese flag motif, who cares? Besides, it's not like they're going to actually --"

"TIME!"

Star Sapphire's new costume does not make me believe in sexism in comics; but the Outsiders does. In the Outsiders, the previously established characters were all guys and were pretty cool: Batman, Black Lightning, and blue blazing Metamorpho. The women were all newly thrown together, slapdash, stock characters: Little Blonde Girl with Rainbow Powers! Kick-ass Samurai Asian Chick! Ugly Girl Who Wants to be Pretty and Thereby Control Men!

You know, I really have to be grateful for the Outsiders. I never really understood what the kids mean by "lame", until I started Hating the Outsiders Week. The Outsiders are a pretty good demonstrative definition of "lame" and they are helping me develop operational ones too. For example, "If you are named after your weapon, or vice versa, then you are lame."

And, no, Green Lantern doesn't count; it's Power Ring who is lame.

Captain Marvel Sex Facts!

Cap's a catch.And even E. Nelson Bridwell knows it.


Cap's a bottom.Or likes to boost Junior's self-esteem.


Billy's an easy mark.Or a good actor.

Cap is chub-friendly.But kind of demanding.


Cap likes animals. A lot.


Billy visits prisoners.
They appreciate it.


Cap's really into vegetables.And vice versa.


Cap's sex life is strange.
But there's stranger.

Hating Black Lightning and Metamorpho?

Okay, I have to confess: I don't hate Black Lightning and Metamorpho.

But I do hate what the Outsiders did to them.

They were originally cool (well, in Metamorpho's case, bizarre). They actually were outsiders. Metamorpho, like Captain Marvel, pretty much existed in a world all his own (the Haneyverse, don't you know). Black Lightning was a real "street-level" hero, when most heroes were busy battling against Mordru or the Construct. And they were legendary for being the Guys Who Turned Down Membership in the JLA.

But, naturally, they fairly leapt at the chance to join *snort* "the Outsiders". Now, that, folks, is how to lose your street cred in record time.

Of course, a hard look at their secret identities helps none. Metamorpho is, in fact, Rex Mason, a wealthy, debonair, jet-setting adventurer with an insanely devoted, gorgeous, heiress girlfriend and powers that render him virtually indestructible. Black Lightning is, in fact, Jefferson Pierce, an Olympic gold medalist in the decathalon and high school educator.

Yep. Them's some "outsiders", huh.

Thanks to the Outsiders, Black Lightning, instead of fighting drug dealers in the streets of his hometown, was out defending ... a foreign country. A European foreign country. A monarchic European foreign country. As outsiders so often do. And Metamorpho, instead of living his incomparable swinging life, became hired muscle for Latveria Lite.

Yeah, I hated what the Outsiders did to Black Lighting and Metamorpho.

Hating Halo

There are nine levels in Hell and, in each, you are greeted by Halo, wearing a different costume.

Halo, for those of you blessed by ignorance of her, was a member of "the Outsiders". Because nothing says "outsider" like teenage blondes with rainbow-striped hair and a skating outfit.

Why did the editor not stop this monstrosity? Oh, that's right; the editor was Len Wein. Can't you hear the pitch? "It's Rainbow Raider meets Kitty Pride! It's Rainbow Brite meets Jade! It's Color Kid meets Amethyst!"

It's head meets hammer is what it is. If I'd been there, I'd have worn my Punisher T-shirt and there would have been no survivors.

Halo is an underage re-animated corpse with amnesia. Let's just call that Strike One.

Strike Two: Halo's origin involved not one but two moronic Mike W. Barr homonym-based characters: Syonide and the Aurakles. Didn't I hear them play at Ladies Night at the Black Cat on 14th St.?

It is axiomatic that homonymous characters are stupid. They are based on rhyming, which appeals to the lowest levels of literate humor (naturally, there are lower levels of humor that are subliterate, such as Bodily Function -based humor). Rhyming is for children, who delight in discovery familar sound patterns as they acquire language; nursery rhymes, Dr. Suess, the poetry of Maya Angelou. Nothing in comics is stupider than the "rhyming demon" shtick that poor Etrigan got stuck with. I mean, how bad is it when I feel pity for a Jack Kirby character?

Strike Three: Halo has a spectrum of powers, one for each color of the rainbow. I dare you to say that to non-comic book reader without being embarrassed. I dare you to say that out loud without being embarrassed.

Color-coordinated kryptonite? Okay, that makes some sense; I mean, sapphires and rubies are kind of like that. Color-coordinated emotional spectra and the Green Lanterns' "necessary impurity"? Um... well, marginal, but I'll buy it in a broad metaphorical way. Actual color-based powers including the Purple Ray of Unhealing as wielded by a woman named "Violet"? Shoot me now, then subscribe me to Power Pack and G.I. Joe.

Note that I've reached three strikes just instrinsic to her character; I haven't even touched on what she's actually like or her storyline. I may do that at some later date, but only after consultation with my physician.

I'd really like to try to explain to you how much I hate Halo, but I only know about 7 or 8 languages, which means I don't know nearly enough words to attempt the task. The League of Halo-Haters; The Halo Revenge Squad; The Legion of Halo's Doom; I belong to them all.

Here's how much I hate Halo. Some poor mad fool has made a Halo custom Heroclix figure (no doubt as part of his craft therapy at The Home). One of you self-styled Halo-lovers better buy it soon, or in a month or so, I will buy it and set it on my windowsill under a magnifying glass to watch it slowly melt away, as a sort of a Christmas gift to myself...!

So act now; save Halo, save the world.

Outsiders Week!

In the spirit of Yuletide, I'd like to devote this week to

HATING THE OUTSIDERS.

Even though a week is clearly not enough time for that... .

There are so many crimes against comics for which Enemy of Society Mike W. Barr should be tried, but creating the Outsiders is the one that should get him the chair. Once that's done, they should turn the current on again for about another twenty minutes just to make the corpse twitch. Hey; I'd watch that on YouTube; Pay Per View, even!

My reasons for detesting the "Outsiders" are both manifest and manifold. Even more than "the NEW Teen Titans", they were a loose grouping of ersatz characters cobbled together in the Marvel mold. "Fear us for we are a rough and tumble bunch of ass-kicking rebels! We have contempt for authority just like you young people! We are McBain, a loose-cannon cop who doesn't play by the rules! We are ... OUTSIDERS!"

No, my dears, you are not. The Doom Patrol are outsiders; you know, the freaky kids in high school who wind up founding software companies, opening art galleries, dying in gutters, or moving to Montevideo to do all three. You are surburban Catholic-school girls, toying with dark mark-up and calling yourself "naughty" because you let a boy get to first base without knowing his last name. The Doom Patrol is a group of people who have been labelled as outsiders by others; you are people trying to label yourselves as outsiders. So unsure and insecure about what you are that you need to define yourselves by what you are not.

This is a group that actually called themselves the Outsiders. Now that is what I believe the kids today would call "lame". Oh, and they were founded by *snicker* Batman. Now, it's funny enough when Marvel tries to portray Wolverine (who's in every third Marvel comic) as an outsider. I mean, at least he smokes cigars, wears leather, has funny hair, and drops the 'g's from present participles. But Batman ... ?!

Hey, Batman! I've got some snapshots of you in my photo album wherein you are:

• chatting with Mr. Barnabas on Batman Island!
• selling war bonds!
• piloting the Batsubmarine!
  
• testifying in court!
• answering a summons from your personal searchlight on police headquarters!
• racing against Willie Von Dort!
• founding yet another version of the JLA!
• performing a tracheotomy on a baby with a ping pong ball lodged in its throat!
  
• giving your silent stamp of approval to some new hero in issue 3 of their new soon-to-be-cancelled title!

I like my Batman fairly dark, you know. But I'm still not going to pretend that Batman, even at his darkest, is an "outsider" in any meaningful sense of the word, and a credulity-straining tiff with his colleagues in the Justice League won't be changing my mind. Batman's not a naif; he knows that the JLA's job isn't to do everything it can everywhere, but to deal with things that no one else can when it's necessary to do so.

So Batman goes off in a huff and forms a group called "the Outsiders"? Ridiculous. How come the only consistently mature versions of any of DC characters are in its animated line, which is theoretically made for kids? Children get DC icons that act like adults, but we adults get DC icons that act like children. Maybe it's supposed to be comic book irony.

The "Outsiders", as you would expect from a rebellious outsider group, had a high-tech HQ and a VTOL jet, connections with old world royalty, at least one member who's a model, and lived in a "real" city (or rather, Los Angeles). Did DC pay Marvel royalties for the Outsiders? That check should go out every week in the mail right after the ones to Siegel & Shuster.

You know what might have worked for me instead? You know what might have at least been funny?

"Green Arrow and the Outsiders"; because he's just that kind of jackass.

Fishclix

Now, I know a lot of people don't care about Heroclix, and a lot of people don't care about Aquaman, so I guess this post is for those tasteful few who care about both.

So, please, I beg you, if any of you appreciate them, intend to use them, or are even simply amused by them, let me know. A good deal of work goes into such things, and nothing is worse than the dead silence of "no comments" on such on blogpost.

I've long threatened to produce marine animal pogs (or, as I prefer to think of them, "fishclix") to serve as Aquaman's finny friends in Heroclix games. They're actually much handier than you'd think, at first. The main problem with the Aquaman heroclix figures is their lack of range (oh, if only someone would give him his water balls!).

The fishclix help because they can run interference as self-sacrificing blockers who keep opponents from picking off Aquaman at a distance, allowing him to sneak up and clobber his foes at close quarters.

And they're cheap as dirt! They each cost fewer than 10 points, so it's easy to sprinkle a few --or even a lot -- on any Aquaman team.

Note that each of these piscatorial pogs has the Aquaman symbol at its apex. That's the 'finny friends' ability! It gives them Aquatic movement and, as long as Aquaman remains on the board, they have Willpower & Battle Fury (because they're being controlled by Aquaman, of course).

Notice also that most of them have the JLA Team Ability, which allows them to move without using up any of your allotted actions for the turn. That's important if you want to put a bunch of them on your team.

As for their individual powers, a short trip to the aquatic encyclopedia (as well as H's Finny Friends Compendium) provided guidance. Many fish have natural disguise and evasion capabilities, which I chose to represent variously with Stealth, Deflection, Shape Change, and Supersenses. They are born "blockers", perfect for guarding the King of the Sea.

Poisonous fish like the Scorpionfish get Poison, unless, like jellyfish, they can reach out and touch someone. The shy squid gets Smoke Cloud, which he can use to help out his stealthing companions, but the bold octopus will also use his Elasticity to tie up your opponents. Bioluminescent lanternfish help you see better underwater so they have the Police Team Ability, which improves the ranged attack values of adjacent friends.

More fishclix are possible, of course. Which ones would you want?

Comix Collage

Today I'd like to introduce my friend, Steven Yau, of New York City. Steven is an artist who creates character-focused collages from old comic books.

Once you get over the sacrilege of cutting up old comics (just assume they were badly damaged), you can appreciate his work!

Actually, you do more than just appreciate it; you can buy it at his Etsy Comix site.

Here, for example, is one of Spiderman.


Why someone would want one of him, I cannot imagine, but there are other ones, too; ones with good characters like Batman or Superman. And the price is quite reasonable.

Why We Love the Phantom Stranger III

He speaks the truths that all men know ...
but dare not speak.

Things That Made Me Happy...

in my comics this week.

• "Hello. I'm Jonah Hex, from Child Services... ."
• The unpleasant return of Mister America.
• The couple of Hourman and Liberty Belle, who you can just tell at a glance break furniture every time they have sex.
• A lunatic JSA member who's headquartered at a sanitarium. Just like old times.
  
• Is that ... Dawnstar's fringe? That is about the scariest thing I've seen all week.
  
• Tom 'Cat.
• Chief Warner, and her outfit. And if you do NOT recognize her, shame on you, for your comic fu is weak; ask Devon to explain it to you.
  
• Ryan Choi's dad handing out discipline with a ruler. Hot.
• Hey, Gail; thanks for the haiku (P.S. I knew it wasn't Ray's because I speak Anagramese ...)
• The fate of Dwarfstar.
• Every single page of the Shazam Showcase which, in one stroke, justifies the entire 1970s
• The Joker at the McDonald's drive-through.
• The return of Manhunter and a great guest appearance by Wonder Woman
• Big thumbs up to you,, artist Don Kramer; the first time in a LONG time an artist has been able to draw the Joker not as a man who's smiling but rather as a man with a smile on his face.
• Ralph's chat with "Supernova".
• The Justice League Unlimited Christmas issue, which made me laugh, and cry and cry and cry and cry....

Why We Love the Phantom Stranger II

The Phantom Stranger has no interest in your narrow little agenda...

Why We Love the Phantom Stranger

You know, the Phantom Stranger is pretty much the only person who could say this ....



without laughing.

Domino and Polaris

Hello, Internet; Doctor Domino here.

Last week I was in Japanese waters picking up a shipment of super-sarin and doing a bit of tie shopping. So I decided to swing the battleship over to visit my old college buddy, Doctor Polaris (or, as we used to call him behind his back at Dungeons & Dragons, "Anchorhead" Emerson).

We had an enjoyable time, but "Anchorhead", who could never hold his liquor, drank too much and "confessed" that he used to use his magnetic powers to reposition his figures during games.

Ha! The fool! As if Doctor Domino would not notice such a thing! Obviously he never figured out why I gave him a full set of PLASTIC D&D figures for Christmas during junior year. Doctor Domino always thinks ahead.

Anyway, we had lots of fun, but I think he became a tad jealous because I'm merely missing in limbo awaiting my eventual return while he's currently, well, dead. So, yesterday he sends me an email with a picture of himself, showing off for his friends at work:


Huh. Well, that may impress the boys at the office, but I've seen him hugging the toilet after tee many martoonis (which looks none too dignified with that helmet on), so I'm not impressed.

My gods, I bet he uses the close up in his Christmas cards this year.

But that's okay. I have a way to soon put old Anchorhead in his place. For I'm Doctor Domino; I'm thinking ahead; I have a plan... .

Re-Fabulize Northwind!

Okay, I'll admit that this is dramatic-looking:
But this isn't really Hawkman; it's more like a Manhawk. I mean .... chicken feet. Really!

Transmogrifying Northwind into this form was a mistake. Sure, it was a dramatic move that helped pit Black Adam and Hawkman against each other, but mostly it was a sop to those readers easily-overwhelmed by the overwrought designs of Alex Ross in the vastly overrated Kingdom Come.

But such zoonification, as I've said before, is just a dead-end for the characters involved. Seen "Charaxes" lately? And Killer Croc hasn't had a real story in years; he's just trotted out to provide a fight scene in the middle of "epics" that consist of nothing but sequential cameos by all the members of Batman's rogues gallery.

It's one thing to do that to villains; but to the team members of heroic icons...? For pity's sake, this version of Northwind can't even talk!

At just the point when the revivified Hawkman was most in need of "team members" like Golden Eagle and Northwind to help him become a modern Dynastic Centerpiece, they were both brought back as, essentially, enemies. They need to be brought back with Hawkman as part of a stable base of characters that (I hope) can save the muddled mess that has been made of Hawkgirl's title.

I'm not an "old fan" of Northwind; the first (and, I think, last) comic I ever saw him in his original form was Crisis on Infinite Earths 20 years ago. In fact, I thought he was ridiculous.

But now, the idea that Hawkman has a black Scandavian half-birdmand godson seems so ridiculous to me that it slips over into fabulousness, at least in the Silver Age sensibility inherent in the Hawkman mythos.

Or maybe I just want to laugh ever time I see ultra-alpha-male testerone-drenched Hawkman traipsing around with this feathered fey in tow...

Northwind tries desperately to convince a teammate that
the copy of Vogue in his bedroom actually belongs to Vixen...

"I'd advise you to tend to your own knitting, sir!"

As previously mentioned, I'm a fan of Killer Moth and the Cavalier, one of comics' greatest couples (despite Cavalier's recent dalliances with that lowbrow, Captain Stingaree). In fact, I've already had a Killer Moth custom heroclix made.

Well, no longer will Killer Moth have to go into battle without someone covering his rear; behold...

The Cavalier!

Expertly crafted by Totaltoyz, the Cavalier poses atop a Rookie Swordsman dial (and, I'm guessing, Killer Moth as well).

As you can tell, the Cavalier has more than a little Captain in him... .

JLD Great Moments: Fall Into the Godhead!

"J.J., I don't want you to do it just because I ask you to;
I want you to 'fall into the godhead' willingly..."

Another Great JLD Moment

Steel versus the Giant Cicadas

You only get to see it once every 17 years.