Saturday, August 08, 2026

Red, White, and Blue Arrow, 4

 When last we left Speedy and Blue Arrow, they were plunging to their rocky cliffside doom, having been outwitted by some cheap hood named "Bronco Bates" with the old "there ain't no balcony" trick.

"Muttley! DO SOMETHIIIING!"

Obviously, they are goners.

Fortunately, Blue Arrow is oblivious to the obvious.

Can Blue Arrow make such a miracle shot?

Hm... No.  I'm pretty sure you DO like to brag, Blue Arrow, given that this is the first thing you say, even before swinging to safety.

Again, this seems to me like bog-standard Green Arrowing, but, based on Golden Age principles, if you are told something is a Miracle Shot, then it IS a Miracle Shot. One that is not only life-saving, but one which enables a surprise counterattack against Bronco Bates and his baleful buddies.

"Blue Arrow! You're back!"
"Yes, I almost broke it!"

See, B.A., THAT would have been witty.  
This is why you won't be in the JSA. 

So Blue Arrow is: exceedingly confident, gives solid smack talk, is stupidly gullible, and makes crazily expert shots on the regular.  I guess we have a winner!

At least that's what Blue Arrow thinks; Speedy has another idea, however.

"Say WHUT?!"
Awesome catchphrase, Blue Arrow.

I will not mention the little dervish doll, or the clay pipe, or the Made in China pot. But I will note that these multicolored archers seem to have been given deep access to Arrow Stuff (including the Trophy Room), which is in Ollie's house. Or apartment. Or Arrowcave.  The Golden Age was very vague about such things.  Are they all told Green Arrow's secret identity?  How would you handle such logistics without or before giving away the secret identity?

Well, we'll never know, BECAUSE...

Speedy has decided to slowly denude Blue Arrow with repeated shots that whiz tantalizing close to his body. As a test of his... bravery. 

"And, trust me, I am watching your body closely to see whether your muscles are quivering!"
Sure, Roy.  Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Wait, why is Blue Arrow wearing green underwear? OH, NO....

IT WAS EARTH ALL ALONG!

Yup.

There never WAS a Red, White, or Blue Arrow.  Each one was just Ollie, dickishly deceiving Roy, while -- AMAZINGLY -- wearing a full Green Arrow costume UNDER his Other Colored Arrow costume.  Honestly, that's more impressive than any of those trick shots.  At least explains why Ollie gave the "other" Arrows unfettered access to his Arrow Stuff.

But then who were those guys at the archery contest?

... Good question, Roy.

Turns out they were NPCs that Ollie just willed into existence, like they were bystanders generated by a special power on his Heroclix card.

Their names are unimportant; only my deception matters.

This is dizzying in its implications.  Does OLLIE have an archery club, and, if so, isn't that unhealthy for his secret?  Does GREEN ARROW have an archery club and how has that never been a plot point before or since?  Does Roy not KNOW the people in this club well enough to see through the disguises? Does Roy not know OLLIE well enough to see through the disguises? When, why, and how did Ollie become a master of disguise and mimicry (while falling to his death)?

Is Ollie being a dick, teaching Roy a lesson, like a Silver Age Superman hoodwinking Lois Lane "for her own good"?  Is Ollie becoming wisely humble, knowing that he needs to earn Roy's trust again?  Can you earn someone's trust by deceiving them? Is this the incident that leads Ollie to inspire the "Green Arrows of the World" group eight years later?  Is this the initial crack in an obviously broken relationship whose disintegration will eventually lead Roy to dissipation in an odium den? What IS going on here?

Regardless, the lesson YOU must learn is: Golden Age writers do not care. They are about tricking you and subverting expectations, not creating logical sequences of events.  They used this potential rich and resonant story concept -- a sidekick comes to the difficult realization that his mentor is slipping and forces the selection of a replacement -- not for pathos but for unrealistic and childish trickery.  The Green Arrow writers patted themselves on the pat for fooling a bunch of ten-year-old readers and then left for an early three-martini lunch at Delmonico's, confident that no one will be questioning their wisdom or their morals after reading this story, let alone 70 years after it was written.

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