Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Young Gays Not In Love

Is there anything more amusing that watching teenager queens and junior lesbians fighting against their sexuality... together?!


Light Lass: "Well, this is how the girls talk on all those WB shows..."
Element Lad: "She's so butch; so looks so much like her brother; she's so butch; she looks so much like her brother...."

Ah, Light Lass. So butch she passed for her own brother. Who in the Giffen Legion was Shrinking Violet's lover. Who has the highly lesbian-friendly power of making people weigh less.

And Element Lad. Who... well, he's Element Lad, for pity's sake. The pink outfit; the oft permed blond hair; the Wildean double entendre; the "spirituality". The chaste relationship with the "female" cop who turned out to be a man.

Sigh.

At least when Element Lad is confused about his sexuality, he has the presence of mind to do so in Heroic Haiku:

"I'm ... er ... out of my
element when it comes to
romancing girls, but..."



Anyone care to help out Light Lass with a haiku reply or some haiku commentary of your own? Or even complete Element Lad's thought with a second haiku?

19 comments:

Devon said...

I...I...can't do this.
Is that a poof on her blouse?
Oh, my God! She knows!

J'onn J'onzz, Martian Manhunter said...

I don't really like
you. I'm promised to my own
gender. Violet!

Scipio said...

Nice one, DVS...

Mark said...

Pink outfit! Blonde hair!
If I squint I can pretend
that it's Saturn Girl!

Mike Loughlin said...

Er, um, well I-I-
I think you're pretty hot too,
Lightning Lad - Oh! Oops.

Scipio said...

BWA-HA-HA-HA!
You guys are KILLING me!

Jeff R. said...

...pass me some ProFem
and soon we'll be ready for
girl-on-girl action.

gorjus said...

This the greatest single entry of all time.

Anonymous said...

I do alchemy,
Can I transform your genitals?
No effect on flesh

Scipio said...

Thanks, Gorjus; I aim to please!

Glad to know my aim is better than Ayla and Jan's....

Cap'n Neurotic said...

Light Lass:Yes, I think you'd be
Even more handsome if you
Grew some facial hair

Element Lad: Ayla, I don't think
You quite understand what I
Meant when I said "beard."

Bubblegum Tate said...

Element Lad says:
Looking just like Garth
Ayla won’t need her power
To give me a “rise.”

Light Lass says:
Jan plays on the pink
Team with me, but we prefer
Diff’rent equipment.

Anonymous said...

I should warn you, Hon.
it ain't just Helium that
makes his loafers light.

kyle said...

Says Element Lad:

If her twin were here,
Juiced-up, electric Garth, I’d
Slip him some tungsten.

Jon Hex said...

Element Lad's finish:

If I can convince
this...girl...to spend time with me
Maybe Garth I'll see

rafi-el said...

They say to each other

I'm not in the mood
It's not you, it's me. You see
I prefer Super...

Sun Boy's haiku

Monitor duty
spent watching fun videos
Chuck Taine's "home movies"

Anonymous said...

That's the story where the "Girl Legionnaires" are turned evil by the matriarchs of Femnaz, right? Wonder if young Rush Limbaugh read it.

Scipio said...

Yes.

Queen Allura, ya know.

One of the all-time great "Betrayed by Friends" stories. With one of the single greatest panels in Western comic book literature:

the crazed lesbian disco frenzy in the 30th century panel.

You all remember it, of course..

Raz said...

^^^^NOOOO show me I wanna see it! =D