Friday, March 11, 2011

BREAKING NEWS: SPIDER-MAN MUSICAL REPLACED BY...


The PHANTOM STRANGER: the MUSICAL

SOUNDTRACK:
01 - The Impromptu Warning
02 - Don't Do It Now
03 - Crude Art
04 - Tala
05 - Stop Those Miscreants!
06 - Random Also-Rans
07 - House Ad
08 - Hal Dances On Friday Night
09 - Random Also-Rans (Reprise)
10 - Cooler
11 - Who was that man?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

You too can play... "The Game"


I'm sick with a bad cold, headache, fever, sweats, the works. I'm alone with no one to take care of me. And it's pouring rain as it has been all day.

But you know what still comforts me...? You know why I'm not depressed...?

BECAUSE AT LEAST I'M NOT SUPERGIRL.

Supergirl, the Heroine of Vain. The Queen of the Clockwork Universe. The Bride of Destiny, the Sultana of Fate, the Dateless Duenna of Determinism.

Because Supergirl reminds you...

You life is a meaningless game in which you are utterly powerless.
Your every triumph leads to defeat.
Your life is nothing but a series of obstacles, delays, and frustration.
And you're fat or going to be fat.

Shall we play...

The Supergirl Game?




If you roll 1-4, you lose a turn. This will be after being shackled to a mundane life of deceit and mediocrity in a ratty pig-tailed wig, losing your powers, gaining a powerful foe, or fighting the destructive viruses that lurk within the human blood stream. Or all of the above.







If you manage to avoid all that with a roll of 5-6, you get to

ENTER DICK MALVERNE

Ugh. Of course he's 100% bottom.

and/or thus regain your powers.

Oh, squee! Our powers are back and we are getting ahead 2 spaces! There is hope, I wonder what's 2 spaces--
Gosh, that's swell! Now I can be an even better Secret Weapon for Superman, since I'm now less vulnerable than he is! Nothing can stop me now as I go ahead 3 spaces to...

Oh. Um. Okay. Infinity. That's a hard one to fight, isn't it? Guess I'll just bravely except this setback as I go 2 spaces in reverse where


Oh, no. I become... FAT?! No, no, no! Maybe... maybe my adopted parents are right. Maybe it's... just a phase! I'll wait it out then press forward to

Wait; that's pointless!


Oh not! Not again! *S0b*!

Maybe if get to ...

It's just not fair. Life is not fair!


But maybe if I keep waiting and trying I can...

wind up with a boyfriend without human pudenda or a creepy stalker geek who has a crush on me a 1000 years from now and who knows how brutally and pointlessly I'm going to die!.

Always remember, when you're down, folks, that...

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

JPA News!


Fans of the Justice Pack of America!

You'll remember I mentioned that I thought the Flash should have a fast-running dog named Bolt.

How come none of you thought to mention...

LIGHTNING, Wally West's dog?


Maybe the idea of the Justice Pack is so powerful that, like Superboy Prime punching reality, it's changing continuity retroactively...?!?! Yes, that must be it.



Sunday, March 06, 2011

I heart Young Justice


I was sure that I had posted about the new Young Justice series, which I've been asked to weigh in on, but apparently not.

In short (as Comic Guys would put it):

Best. Animated Series. Ever.

And, yes, I'm including BTAS and JLU in that estimation. Flame away.



1. I like the art.
Now, I'm more of a story-guy than an art-guy, but the cartoony-ness of BTAS and JLU always bothered me a lot. Honesty, even "Batman Brave & the Bold" is more realistic than BTAS (and if you don't believe that, compare their drawings of the Joker).

2. I like the balance of tone.
Young Justice is not as wacky as Teen Titans was, nor does it get as dark and somber. That's part of what I like about it. Teen Titans was too schizo and the changes in tone far to extreme for my Western tastes. Young Justice has its amusing moments... and they manage to convey that without relying on a momentary change of art-style, as TT did with its anime style.

3. The YJers are placed in context.
Teen Titans were entirely divorced from the 'ahem' real world of adult superheroes. In the entire series I believe there was only one oblique reference to Robin having a mentor in Batman. Young Justice makes it clear that the JLA supports the group as whole, and has a purpose (secret weapons) and a plan (training) for them. Supporting roles for heroes who don't have proteges (such as Black Canary and Red Tornado) have made it clear that the whole 'village' of superheroes takes an interest in raising the next generation.

4. The YJers interact one-on-one with their mentors.
The YJers aren't just 'the junior Justice League'. They are each also the proteges of individual heroes with whom you see them closely relate, and each in their own unique way: M'gann adoring her Uncle J'onn, Superman's severe discomfort with Superboy's origins, Wally's extended "Flash Family", Kaldur's fond but formal allegiance to his king, Robin's jealousy over Batman's attention to the other kids, and Artemis's obvious strain in the pretense of Green Arrow as her uncle. [By the way, since her full name has just been revealed as Artemis Crock, it's pretty clear why that pretense is being made. ]

5. The adults are portrayed realistically and individualistically.
Superman's not perfect, and he's understandably creeped out by Superboy. Batman is certainly no-nonsense, but he's the one with the most parenting skills and its very obvious that he knows what the kids need, even if that's just a little time playing basketball. Red Tornado respects the team enough to let them work out their own problems without micromanaging. Aquaman's not preachy but shows Aqualad by example how to balance responsibilities.

6. It shows enormous respect and understanding for DCU history and employs it in innovative ways.
There are the obvious things like having Red Tornado as their POC and the Justice Cave as their HQ. Other nice touches include good old-fashioned regular human JLA foes like Prof Ivo and T.O. Morrow kicking their butts. But the recent Atlantis-based episode is a good example of weaving traditions into a new continuity, with Garth having declined the role of Aqualad, Tula injured by invaders, a cameo of Tad William's version of Topo, and the mysterious echinoderm that is oh-so-surely going to wind up at the surface world's Star Labs, where it will earn a new name as an old villain before it troubles the JLA.