Monday, July 10, 2006

Hell is a Matter of Perspective

You said it, Ralph! And there's no place that has more elbow room than ...


As we have discussed before, Central City is a very special place. Simply to ensure that its citizens can survive in this phantasmagoraphobical city, Central City has charged its educational system with inculcating all schoolchildren with the necessary math skills to survive a place whose volumes and distances are nearly incalculable.

Are you as smart as a Central City highschooler? Find out by taking....

The Central City "Survival Math" Test!

Question 1.

Assuming that Flash travels at just under the speed of sound (to minimize possible property damage), how long does it take him to cross that street?

Question 2

Assume that average height of the line of buildings is 100 stories and that the Flash, despite bracchial distention, is at his normal height. What is the width of the road that separates the two sides of the street?

Question 3

Adjusting for walking posture, assume that Ralph is at a 90 degree angle with the ground. At what angle is that pole to the ground and, more interestingly, why has that man not fallen off it?

Question 4

Based on the perspective, who took this shot?
(a) Dr. Psycho, limping
(b) a collapsed madeira-sotted photographer from Picture News
(c) an aged chihuahua with a doggie-cam
(d) Ray Palmer with a micropolaroid.

Question 5
Sue is wearing 2.5 inch heels, carrying 9.8 pounds of raw beef, stands at 5'6", and is running at top speed for a 23 year old women in peak physical condition; how long does it take her to reach Ralph's butt?

Extra credit: assuming that the three criminals the distant policeman is covering with his gun are all the same height, how far apart are they, and what angle of vision does the officer require to keep them all within view simultaneously?

Question 6

Is Ralph stretching or is this merely an effect of Central City's unique perspective? Cite examples from the text.

Question 7

Driving at safe and fuel-efficient 55 MPH on consistent road curvatures, how long will it take Iris to drive to her mailbox on the horizon?

Question 8

If the maximum height of any visible building is 300 stories, and assuming full occupancy with a 2% vacation rate, estimate the population of the Central City block in the distance.

Question 9

If the Flash, traveling at 700 MPH arrives at an open bar at 10:30AM, how does that tallest building manage to remain standing? For the matter, how does the Flash?

Question 10

If 40 percent of household income goes to mortgage and the average living room encompasses 40 percent of a house's square footage, with property values at $400 per square foot, what must this family's annual income be to afford that living room?

Question 11

If Batman and Robin run a 4-minute mile, and the crooks run a 6 minute mile, how long does the Dynamic Duo take to reach each of the four crooks and what on earth is the size of that merry-go-round?

Question 12

At minimum wage with standard 8-hour days, how much does it cost the city to maintain that park annually?

Question 13

If that's the curvature of this planet, then what's the average height of those buildings, and what percentage of the distance to the moon does that constitute?



Ron said...

Please tell me that in the Question Six illo, Ralph's thought bubble says "Keep on truckin'!"

Or at least "Yeah! Hup Hup!"

Brandon said...

It's a little known fact that M.C. Escher served as head of public works in Central City throughout most of the 50's and 60's.

J'onn J'onzz, Martian Manhunter said...

1. 3 hours/speed of sound equals distance of block.
2. 50 miles
3. 45 degrees. He is using Mr. Miracle's flight disks.
4. a
5. 14 years.
6. Unique perspective. See question 2.
7. 55 mph times 24 equals the distance between house and mailbox making the overall total 24 hours.
8. 98,000 persons.
9. It is made of material from Dimension X. The Flash is being supported by the elf who gave him his powers.
10. $300,000.
11. It takes ten minutes. Batman jumps on the merry go round and rides around on its supersonic speeds while the crooks merely run around it. Batman jumps off hitting them at above light speed, crushing their skulls, and ends up with second degree murder charges. The merry-go round is 180 feet tall.
12. 17,000 dollars per square acre x 100,000 square acres equals 1,700,000 dollars.
13. 900,000 miles. 89%.

Bat-Mite said...

I'm with J'onn. Martians are good at math.

Anonymous said...

The answer is...Hyperbolic Space!

googum said...

What's with all the Flash questions? The city in question is obviously Mega City One, of Judge Dredd fame.

Son of Blog-El said...

Ooh, J'onn missed the extracredit on question 5.

Here goes...

The three criminals are exactly a 25 feet apart from each other. The officer would require a 120 degree view.

Gotta love the old crazy Infantino artwork. Man was he high...

Julian said...

Pray tell which comics were the panels you used from and who was the artist in each comic respectively.

I find this art fascinating.

Scipio said...

That is the work of Carmine Infantino, known particularly for his work on the Flash.

All the panels in this post are from the just released Showcase Presents: The Elongated Man.

Jim said...

1) A
2) C
3) D
4) A
5) B
6) E
7) C
8) C
9) B
10) D
11) A
12) D
13) C

Justin J. Fox said...

I was trying to answer the questions, but I got lost imagining how many people Infantino could have put on that couch. That one poor guy looks like he just found his way out.

J'onn J'onzz, Martian Manhunter said...

So what did I score on the test?

The Thing That Walks Like A Man said...

Pray tell which comics were the panels you used from and who was the artist.... -- Julian

To see more Carmine Infantino goodness (in full color!), check out the Flash Archive collections.

Nothing screams "Silver Age DC" like those stories.

Chris Sims said...

I declare this post to have a Radness Quotient equal to the number of square feet of the average Central City side-street.

Which is, as you well know, quite a bit.

Mr. Hoosier X said...

J'onn, I am sorry to say that you got ZERO points because you did not show your work.

I suspect you were cheating off Gypsy, who got the answers from the test key in my desk. She was invisible, but I smelled her stinky feet.

Both of you, stay after class and clean Vixen's cage!

J'onn J'onzz, Martian Manhunter said...

Not true! I showed my work on the problems that needed it.

Hoosier X said...

J'ONN! I shall not tolerate such impertinence! Do not force me to call your parents!

J'onn J'onzz, Martian Manhunter said...

They're on dead mars unless my upcoming mini-series changes that.

Hoosier X said...

Really? Then whose signature was on that note you gave me so you could leave early to drive Ralph to the dentist?

And how many times are you going to tell me that you don't have your homework because it was blown up on the JLA satellite?

ABS said...

Man, the original post on Central City's size was hilarious, but now repeated exposure to these pictures is breaking my mind.

Todd D. said...

Question 6 is clearly a "Keep On Truckin'" R. Crumb pastiche.