Saturday, December 02, 2006

JLD Great Moments: Fall Into the Godhead!

"J.J., I don't want you to do it just because I ask you to;
I want you to 'fall into the godhead' willingly..."

Friday, December 01, 2006

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Justice League Detroit vs. Degenerate Art


During this modern renaissance of classic villains, I've been waiting for some brave writer to bring back some of the Justice League Detroit's villains. HA!

Why, if you rolled together Morrison, Simone, Johns, and Palmiotti into one big ball it still wouldn't have the ability to do some of those characters justice. Winick... maybe.

Who could forget the JLD's battle to death against:


The Irridescent Hand Jive?And they were nice enough to do its nails afterwards; those are heroes, people.


The Justice League Detroit was also in the forefront of the war against the Secret Society of Surrealists & Such, including...

Salvador Dali!

Hey; how'd the alien tentacle porn slip in there again?


The Child-Perverting Dr. Seuss!

Wassily Kandinsky's Fettucine Bolognese!

The Parasitic Popularism of Roy Lichtenstein!

And last but not least...

Mock Apple Pac-Man and the Living Mask of Steranko!

And they did all that...

IN ONE ISSUE
(JLA 257, Dec 86).

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The JLD Advances the First Amendment

It's mostly forgotten nowadays, but the Justice League Detroit broke a lot of ground (most of it with Gypsy's feet). It was the first series ...

  • to show clearly how useless and annoying Sue Dibny was;
  • to show older black janitors getting it in on with magical women of all races, in scenes that probably would have been excised from "Hair";
  • to show that replicating Marvel characterization formulae in the context of the DCU is like putting a pig in a prom dress on the cover of Vogue;
  • to show that Mera knows how to pilot a hovercraft;
  • to show that Puerto Rican people can, in fact, develop superpowers, as long as they are ethnically appropriate.

But it also broke down barriers and tackled taboos that even today's rape-of-the-month series wouldn't dare.

Comics had toyed with the forbidden fruits of sweet sweet octopus love for decades, almost since the beginning of the genre, yet never managed to take the bold step to the next level. But -- and they won't teach you this in Comics History 101 --we have the Justice League Detroit to thank for this great moment in the exercise of the First Amendment...


The Justice League Detroit Brings
Tentacle Porn to American Superhero Comics



Gypsy; Vixen; the Elongated Man; and a multitentacled alien that needs comforting. "What do we do with it?", indeed, Ralph...

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

What Really Killed Dale Gunn

Great heroes and supergroups are known best and defined, I think, by their greatest enemies and their great moments.

Well, there are no greater heroes and supergroups than the Detroit League.

These last two days we've have a taste of that rare and underappreciated vintage, Justice League Detroit, by witnessing Batman and Elongated Man's dalliances with Vixen (who is not a rare and underappreciated vintage). It's inspired me to revisit that most glorious era of the Justice League in this coming week.

Now, I can't promise you the pulse-pounding action of Batman, Superman, & Wonder Woman working on their scrapbook together. But there are the kind of moments that, honestly, you just can't experience outside of Detroit.

And there's no finer example of that then the culmination of their groundbreaking, socially relevant "Hard-Cooking Heroes" saga, its climactic battle...

The Justice League Detroit versus
the Flying Chili Bowl of Death!




See? That's what happens when Vibe's not around to save the day...!

You're not ready for a date with Batman


Even Vixen can barely handle a date with Batman... .


Sunday, November 26, 2006

52 More Questions

  1. Do you, like me, pray daily that Ralph Dibny dies in 52?
  2. Have you noticed that on Heroes, the women generally have the "butch" physical powers and the men have the "passive" mental powers?
  3. Will Supernova remain a part of the DCU after 52?
  4. Will there be an Aquaman movie?
  5. Am I the only person who still believes in the possible innocence of Skeets?
  6. When will the new Atom meet Hawkman?
  7. Am I the only person who doesn't think Montoya deserves to become the Question?
  8. Has there ever been a more stinging condemnation of Wonder Woman than that made by Circe in the most recent issue?
  9. Am I the only person who really wants SuperChief to come back?
  10. It's perfectly safe to assume that Dr. Light is the Evil Mastermind behind all the other villians in JLA, isn't it?
  11. Who will come out first, Connor Hawke or Mario Lopez?
  12. Why do I feel like I'm the only person reading Freedom Fighters?
  13. Does the fact that I burst out laughing when I read that Joe Quesada is Wizard's Man of the Year say more about Wizard, Joe, or me?
  14. If the latest Marvel Heroclix set has four ultra-rare zombified uniques, shouldn't the next DC set have four ultra-rare Starro-controlled figures?
  15. How will Batwoman kiss Montoya when she's wearing the Question mask?
  16. I am the only person who thinks Hercules should now be a permanent addition to Wonder Woman's "dynasty"?
  17. Even when they name him "Sobek", aren't you going to call the Black Adam Family's new crocodile friend "Tawky Crawky"?
  18. If you had to live alone on a deserted island with one character from 52, which one would it be? I'd choose SuperChief; a lonely, lonely Superchief...
  19. Can you name one villain who should be permanently "relocated" into Superman's Rogues Gallery, and why?
  20. Don't you think Dr. Domino will be one of the Four Horsemen?
  21. Is there a more boring book than Checkmate? I'm having trouble sleeping at night... .
  22. If M. Mallah & the Brain adopted, what would they name the child? I'm thinking "Dominique"... .
  23. If Aquagirl were to develop one superpower, what should it be?
  24. Will there be a new Booster Gold, ya think?
  25. Isn't this the first time we've actually seen Sivana's wife?
  26. Don't you think Northwind should be rehumanified and brought back into the fold of the Hawkman dynasty?
  27. I'm the only person hoping the prophecy will be fulfilled by a monster eating Cassandra Cain, aren't I?
  28. If you were to bring back the Joker's Daughter, how would you do it?
  29. Shouldn't the Giant Lex Luthor Balloon be a recurring character?
  30. Do the Wonder Scouts have merit badges for bondage and neck-wringing, and, if so, how are they earned?
  31. Since the most recent Heroclix map is the Space Map, shouldn't the next one be a Water/Ocean map?
  32. Shouldn't Black Canary start dating Dr. Mid-Nite again?
  33. Was I the only person surprised by John Henry's loss of his new powers?
  34. Doesn't anyone else miss Neptune Perkins?
  35. Isn't it about time we stop mooning over "Cowgirl" and start getting our asses kicked by the Sinestro Corps?
  36. What one villain would you revitalize by making him/her a member of the Sinestro Corps?
  37. If DC published an anthology title with new stories written in a Golden Age style, would you buy it?
  38. If DC published an anthology title with new stories written in a Silver Age style, would you buy it?
  39. If DC published an anthology title with new stories written in a Bronze Age style, would you buy it?
  40. Am I the only person who misses Ferdinand and wonders exactly where a minotaur lives if not at the Themysciran Embassy?
  41. I'm the last person on earth to realize how good Birds of Prey is, aren't I?
  42. Superchief, Ferdinand, Northwind; hmm, do I need therapy or just a weekend at one of William Marston's furry festivals?
  43. Since there will eventually be a new Terraman, what should he be like?
  44. Doesn't anyone at DC remember that Congress can't pass Constitutional amendments without them being ratified by the states?
  45. Is it no longer continuity that Luthor was a third-party candidate?
  46. Has anyone else noticed how much less child molestation and bodies-in-the-backyard there are now that Alan Moore's not writing for DC?
  47. Am I the only person who thinks Rex the Wonderdog should be a supporting player in something other than Shadowpact? I think a talking immortal dog would be perfect in either Wonder Woman or Manhunter... or maybe living with Wendy & Marvin in Teen Titans.
  48. Shouldn't Mr. Terrific be a lot cheerier now that he's getting some?
  49. No one really misses the Ventriloquist, do they?
  50. So, is it Chung Tzu or Chung Zhu? I hope they choose the latter and cover it by saying that Westerners were mispronouncing it, because it's really odd and vaguely disrespectful to name a supervillain after an ancient philosopher for no reason... .
  51. Am I the only person who thinks Dr. Mid-Nite should have his own title, with Dr. Scott consulting?
  52. Isn't there ever going to be a second issue of Digging for the Truth? I am dying to see Josh confront the villain.