Saturday, November 11, 2006

2 in 2007!

Joy ineffable! Wizkids Games has announced that they putting out not one but TWO sets of DC Heroclix in 2007.

This is a great excitement to those DC fans who play or collect Heroclix. There have been 11 1/4 Marvel sets and only 6 1/2 DC sets, so DC fans are anxious to get "caught up" on getting a wide variety of characters represented as Heroclix figures.

Below is some of what I suspect we might see in these next two sets, based on Wizkids' ways of balancing the sets (heroes and villains, male and female, teams, etc). The bolded ones are confirmed as being in the next set, named "Origins"; ones in red would be remakes of previous Heroclix figures.

  1. Golden Age Batman (with Easily-Knocked-Out-edness)
  2. Golden Age Superman (with Leap/Climb instead of Flight, Invulnerability instead of Imperviousness, and no Heat Vision/ranged attack)
  3. Golden Age Starman (I've decided to personally take all the credit for this one!)
  4. Alan Scott (much asked for)
  5. Wildcat (a good low-point JSA figure, with Charge and Flurry)
  6. Mon-El (now that he's back in comics, he's the muscle LSH teams need)
  7. Guy Gardner (a Green Lantern; much asked for)
  8. The Question (much asked for and a star of 52)
  9. Hawkman (his original REV isn't worthy of the name)
  10. The new Blue Beetle (whether you want him or not)
  11. Animal Man (they made Vixen; they can make Animal Man, whose a fan fave and a star of 52)
  12. Martian Manhunter (he's had a "Unique" figure, but he's got so many powers he simply screams out for a REV)
  13. Aqualad or Tempest (Titans, Mystique, Aquafamily)
  14. Kid Devil (a fresh Titans character)
  15. Classic Aquaman (yeah, he's already had two versions, but people won't be happy until they get a Green Gloves version; maybe it'll just be a Unique?)
  16. Starboy (one of the few black Legionnaires)
  17. Mister Miracle (the required Fourth World addition)
  18. Jakeem Thunder (not a fan fave, but he brings "young and black" to the JSA table)
  19. The Human Bomb (shiny black destructiveness)
  20. Captain Comet (a representative of DC's outer space gang)
  21. Supernova (give his central role in 52, I think he'll be in Set 2)
  22. A new Firestorm (nothing is wrong with the old one as a figure, but the new one, Jason, should get at least a Unique)
  23. Steel (Dr. Iron's new powers and his role in 52 merit an update)
  24. Robotman (for the slow building of the Doom Patrol)
  25. Phantom Stranger (for the "Oddball Box", where live Sgt. Rock, Jonah Hex, and Swamp Thing)
  26. One of the Metal Men (hey; you didn't think they'd make Chemo, either, did you?)
  27. Dr. Light (although not used much, a lot of people are fond of her and she's JLA)
  28. Supergirl (crying out for a remake)
  29. Triplicate Girl (if they did Madrox, they can now do Triplicate Girl)
  30. Miss Martian (works with Teen Titans and the inevitable Martian Manhunter REV)
  31. Gypsy (back in action in Birds of Prey, so a very natural choice)
  32. Batwoman (another 52 character who should show up in Set 2)
  33. Aquagirl (it might not seem like she'd make it now, but she'd be good to fill a low-point REV slot and could add to the figs with Titans TA)
  34. Phantom Lady (they have to start making the Freedom Fighters, and she would be a fan favorite)
  35. Golden Age Wonder Woman (what's good for the goose...)
  36. Isis (another fun 52 character for Set 2)
  37. Phantom Girl (a classic female Legionnaire and a star of the new cartoon)
  38. Wonder Girl (needed for both Wonder Woman teams and Teen Titans)
  39. Thunder (for the Outsiders TA, and a "sidekick" for Black Lightning)
  40. Nightshade (a little Shadowpact action!)
  41. Crimson Fox (a low-point slashing leapclimber with JLA TA)
  42. Bulleteer (how can they resist it?)
  43. Some new Checkmate Agents
  44. The Penguin (Wizkids now has a better handle of the more "intellectual" villains and this classic Batman villain is currently never played because his clix is nearly worthless)
  45. The Riddler (see Penguin, above)
  46. Killer Moth (definitely not in Set 1, but in Set 2, so that the Batman Enemies can have another flyer)
  47. The Gentleman Ghost (the first Hawkman villain represented; also, the Rookie can be a Batman Enemy)
  48. Lobo (sigh; as featured in 52)
  49. Catman (surely the Secret Six will see some representation, and the Rookie can be a Batman Enemy)
  50. Ragdoll (a low point Unique?)
  51. Mirror Master (no, I don't know how either, but the Flash villians need him)
  52. Johnny Quick (Crime Syndicate; only he and Power Ring are left)
  53. Silver Age Brainiac (like Aquaman, two other versions have been done, but this is the one everyone's been waiting for)
  54. Pied Piper (a Flash villian with Mind Control and Pulse Wave would be fun!)
  55. Ocean Master (Black Manta is really lonely)
  56. Vandal Savage (another Lex Luthor style "mastermind" Unique that one will know how to use)
  57. The Shark (perfect opportunity to make a villian to fight both GL and Aquaman, with a nearly unique combo of Psychic Blast and Fangs!)
  58. Star Sapphire (GL villains are poorly represented and she's one of the best known female villains in any Rogues Gallery)
  59. Catwoman (her original clix are sitting ducks)
  60. Knockout (both Secret Six and Fourth World)
  61. Live Wire (the Superman villain who's found her way from the cartoons to the comics)
  62. Silver Banshee (she'd make a great looking Unique, adds to the Superman villains, and can tag-team with Gentleman Ghost)
  63. Scandal Savage (another low-point slicey dicey figure)
  64. Cassie Cain (didn't like her first dial, when she was a hero? Her newfound villainhood is a second chance to make her a challenging foe for Robin!)
  65. Granny Goodness (sigh; a Fourth World female)
  66. Dr. Poison (probably a Unique in Set 2; Mars needs women!)
  67. Tigress (a good low-point all-purpose villainess)
  68. Madame Rouge (to go with Mallah & The Brain)

Friday, November 10, 2006

Wonder Goodies

Your Comments are Wanted...

Frank Miller & Alan Moore ... were they just big fish in a little pond?

If you could write an essay about Wonder Woman, what would you say?



Marston Worships at the Altar of the Holy Electric Woman's Leg
and You Should Too
Oh, your feet are killing me, too, dearie...


Some Heroclix Pogs for Your Wonder Woman Games

There are so many deliciously evil pogs I wanted to make for this: "the Hitler Cure", "the Sissy Spanker", "Fido the Dog Girl", "Ruth Smith", "Man Made Manacles", etc. But I've kept this little set on the up and up instead. And while you are enjoying Steve Trevor, the Magic Lasso, and Etta Candy, don't forget Brenda the Majorette!


Special Steve Trevor Rules
  • Wonder Woman has Defend with regard to Steve Trevor.
  • Steve Trevor has the Police Ability.
  • Any opposing figure may attempt to Incapacitate Steve.
  • Steve has Willpower.
  • Steve Trevor costs you zero points if you are wearing a headband.
  • To maximize enjoyment, make a stupid exclamation everytime Steve takes or receives an action.



Special Magic Lasso Rules

  • The Magic Lasso must be placed with Wonder Woman at the start of the game.
  • She carries it with her, and that does not affect her ability to carry regular objects or other figures.
  • The Magic Lasso allows Wonder Woman to use Incapacitate with a range of 5 against one opposing figure at a time.
  • Figures incapacitated by the Magic Lasso can take no action of any kind.
  • Incapacitation by the Magic Lasso lasts until Wonder Woman moves, attacks, or receives damage.
  • Wonder Woman may not use the Magic Lasso while she is carrying another figure or object.
  • Wonder Woman may, as a free action, give the Magic Lasso to or receive it from any adjacent friendly figure.
  • Other figures using the Magic Lasso can only use it in Close Combat.
  • No player may use the Magic Lasso who is handcuffed, manacled, or chained.


The Special Etta Candy Rules

  • Wonder Woman has Defend with regard to Etta.
  • Etta Candy has both Toughness and Willpower.
  • Etta Candy cannot be carried by any flyer who does not have superstrength.
  • To maximum enjoyment, require that any player who uses Etta must eat a piece of chocolate every time she uses either Toughness or Willpower.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Things That Made Me Happy...

in my comics this week.

  • "I, Vampire", Genius Jones, ghost pirate ships, Nazi gorillas, and Anthro encased in ice ... all in the same story.
  • Some CSI detectives finally noticed something odd about how one of the Spectre's victims died.
  • the Pre-Socractics portrayed as a sort of Secret Society of Super Philosophers.
  • Alexander the Great demonstrating the Aristotelean causes by giving someone a hotfoot.
  • Evil Skeets' explanation of what he is actually constructed out of; yeesh, that's creepy!
  • the fact that Metropolis still looks really beautiful with its spine snapped in half.
  • thank you, Mad Monk; now THAT is a deathtrap!
  • The Question's archenemy turns out to be... himself.
  • I really like Miss Martian (about 10,000 times more than that other special guest star).
  • At last, Batwoman will return next week!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

And the hits keep coming!

You know, I've been picking on Marston's pretty severely this week, and that's not fair. So what if he was a demented perv who passed off his plethora of fetishes on a generation of innocent children, while conning the public so that he got not only money but acclaim for doing so, when, in any decent society, he'd be sent to live in solitary on a desert island?

He gets points for creating Etta Candy. Besides, he's about to become my best friend...

Yes, bloggers care only for hits and comments, our common currency. And today Marston is going to bring me more hits than I usually get in three months. Why? Because I've finally figured out how people actually use the internet....

"sorority girls spanking blindfolded blonde nazi woman"It was a very long time before I noticed the group bedroom.


"bound all female roleplaying hynoptism exhibitionist submission"
Honey? Can I be 'Ruth Smith' this time?


"dominatrix whip chained slave girls discipline"Ha, Wonder Woman and her Golden Age sarcasm! Er... at least... I think that's sarcasm... .



"cops bound straps straightjacket woman harsh lighting"How much you think the guy watching pays for that sort of thing?

"women bound baked pie"
I'll, uh... I'll skip dessert, thanks.


"hooded women spanking paddled kneeling blonde girl bonbons"
It's the photo on the wall that really makes this one.


"convict naked bare legged glasses female prisoner lesbian guard"
"You'll look pretty behind bars" is my new favorite pick up line.


"fat girl pretty woman kissing hugging woo woo"Hold you closer? If I were any closer I'd be behind you!


"rope bound gagged boxed C.O.D."

I hope they remember to put in some grass and punch a few holes in the lid.


"men women co-ed chained slaves pulling chariot whipped man in skirt"
Welcome to Dr. Seuss's Planet of Pain and Pleasure;
Grab a chain and enjoy your leisure!




Remember what Wonder Woman says, folks:

"Don't hate the game; hate the player!"

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Comics' Greatest Female Role Model


She is one of comic's greatest characters. She is a symbol of female empowerment like no other. Her glory and the inspiration she provides actually outweighs the horrific festish-fest of all Marston's bondage-based fiction.

I speak, of course, of Etta Candy.

Oh, I'm sorry, did you think I meant Wonder Woman? Please! Don't make me laugh.

Wonder Woman; so vain that she wouldn't tear masking tape off her eyes for fear of ruining her eyelashes.

Wonder Woman; so shallow that the only thing she says when given her armor symbolizing her new divine mission in Man's World is, "Oh, Mother, how lovely!"

Wonder Woman; so unfeminist that she abandons her home and leaves for Man's World, not because of her holy mission, but because she has a crush on the first man she's ever seen.

Wonder Woman; so spineless and insecure that she cries when someone doesn't think she's attractive.

No, I don't mean Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman is the symbol of all that is WRONG with how women are portrayed in comic books. The dominance fetish, parading about her bathing suit, the obsession with a man, the vanity.

Etta Candy is a real woman. Etta Candy is a role model. Etta Candy, in case you didn't know, is a svelte figure when Wonder Woman, in her guise as a war nurse, meets her. Etta is thin because she's suffering from an illness (inflamation of the spleen, or some such). Once she's cured, she blossoms to her normal size.



Etta Candy is not fat; she is a sturdy woman with some meat on her bones, as opposed to the anexoric top-heavy heroines of today. She's from Texas, you know, where size is appreciated.

Etta Candy does not moon over men. Wonder Woman actually says to her, "You know, Etta, you need to lose some weight if you want to catch a man!" Etta's reply? "Who needs a man when I've got candy?"

Etta is so wise. You'll note that Etta doesn't eat just any candy; you don't see her with lollipops or gumdrops. Etta eats chocolates. No fool, Etta knew long before anyone else did that eating chocolate produces the same chemicals (such as phenylethylamine) in the brain that falling in love and having sex do. Who needs a man when I've got candy? While Diana Prince stamps her foot and sighs over a recalcitrant Steve Trevor, Etta has popped a bon-bon is woo-wooing her way to her next madcap collegiate adventure.

Modern writers haven't done Etta justice. On the WW television show, she was portrayed as a simpering subservient wuss by the actress who was the waitress at Arnold's Drive-In. When she was reintroduced after the Crisis, she was insecure about her weight, jealous of Wonder Woman, desperate to lose weight, and wound up falling for Steve Trevor -- that's everything Etta Candy should NOT be. Suffering Sappho, who thought we needed the Earth-3 version of Etta Candy?

The real Etta Candy doesn't have superstrength, but she still takes on Nazis, gangsters, and Mexican prison guards. The real Etta Candy risks her life for her country every episode, without being nearly invulnerable. Etta Candy doesn't need to be a Helen of Troy to command the respect of men and women alike, and is the head of her sorority. When Etta Candy's fiancee turns out to be a skunk, she dumps him, and says, "Oh, well, I'd prefer a nice horseback ride with Diana anyway!"

I'm not a woman and I don't date them; but I know who my model of a woman is.

And it sure ain't Wonder Woman. Who needs a Wonder Woman when I've got Candy?