Friday, January 21, 2011

Attack of Jean Loring's Brain, Part V



Well, yes, all this Wind Pirate nonsense is very interesting but the re--

JULIUS H. SCHWARTZ,
WHAT THE FLYING FOO-HA IS THAT?

If Jack Kirby and Jim Steranko had a baby,
that's pretty much what it would look like. At birth.


Oh, silly me. That's the Wind Pirate's ship. With a big Kirby Cube. You know, I could swear one of my elder brothers had a black light poster like that.

Wait, what's that he's saying?

"MORE POWER! I WANT THE WORLD TO TREMBLE! NATIONS REDUCED TO HYSTERIA! ONLY WHEN THE EARTH IS IN A STATE OF TOTAL CHAOS WILL THE MOMENT BE RIPE FOR PLUNDER!"

What a silver-tongued devil the Wind Pirate is! Now wonder Bosun is in love. By the way, if you didn't know a moment could be plundered, well, you learned it here first. Really, some clever writer needs to bring back the Wind Pirate and put him on into a villainous Stentorian League with Dr. Domino, Dr. Polaris, and Sunspot. Oh, and Solomon Grundy, just for laughs. Nah, scratch that; a clever writer could never do the dialog.

Anyway, where's the real threat in this story? What's become of Jean Loring's brain?!

Oh, that!

Well, Captain Comet did the only humane thing....

He shoved his fingers in Jean Loring's brain and killed her.


Gee, if only someone had done the same thing to T.O. Morrow's other abductee, the Meanest Woman Alive, Iris West.

Oh, wait; that's right...
Someone did.


P.S. Just kidding! As if that goober Captain Comet could possible stop Jean Loring's brain! It will return in the next episode of...

THE ATTACK OF JEAN LORING'S BRAIN!!!!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just know somebody's going to ask why Professor Zoom is killing Batgirl. The answer is, Iris West was killed at a superhero-themed costume party.

SallyP said...

Good grief but there are an awful lot of Captains running around. I keep thinking that Captain Comet is Captain Atom, but the REAL Atom is running around...and it is all just so confusing.

It's nice to know that Jean won't be down long for the count though.

John said...

If anybody has the number of the Wind Pirate's architect...

Scipio said...

... track him down and kill him?

TotalToyz said...

Where in the name of Home Depot did Wind Pirate get the tech to build a ship like that???

SallyP said...

Lincoln Logs and Tinker Toys can
be used in SO many useful ways!

TotalToyz said...

Sally, please tell me you're talking about the ship....

Ronald said...

"Really, some clever writer needs to bring back the Wind Pirate and put him on into a villainous Stentorian League with Dr. Domino, Dr. Polaris, and Sunspot."

Okay, I give up, who's "Sunspot" in this context? "Search" but brought me back here.

I've been perusing your archives over the last few days, and I've laughed more than I had in the previous few months. Thanks.

Scipio said...

Sorry, Ronald; didn't see your question until just now.

"Sunspot" was the megalomaniac modeled as a parody of Jim Shooter whom Guy Gardner defeated in the Legends crossover by tricking him into blowing off his own foot.

Derick said...

This will not have effect as a matter of fact, that's what I suppose.
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