Thursday, August 03, 2006

Let the Dibny Parade of Horribles Begin!

I stood silently (well ... comparatively silently) as people wept and moaned over "what they did to poor Sue Dibny". But with Sue's literary revenance as a plot device in 52 and Ralph's hypocritical moralizing at poor dear Booster... well, I've stood all I can stands, I can't stands no more.

The Dibnys are the Apostles of Sin in the DCU. Greed, Pride, Lust; the Dibnys sweat sin. While thousands have blinded themselves with nostalgic haze into casting the Dibnys as the personifications of innocent Silver/Bronze Age fun, who have been monstrously despoiled by Moderns, I shall shout the ugly truth:

Ralph & Sue were wicked wicked people.

I cannot catalogue their endless evils in one post; my own constitution could not bear it. The Dibny Parade of Horribles will take many posts over time, I think.

But let's start with the little scene below. I have seen many savagely kinky things in my day, my friends (er ... in movies, of course; not in person; certainly not). But never have I seen anything like Ralph's decision to...

shove his elongated butt into
the crotches of two men simultaneously.



Ugh. I feel the need to take a shower now...

19 comments:

Harvey Jerkwater said...

Look, just because a man shoves his elongated butt into the crotches of two men simultaneously doesn't mean he's a horrible, wicked person.

Some of us did it because we had to. More than once in my past, it was the only way to right wrongs and strike a two-cheeked blow for justice.

Okay, and once because that guy paid me to.

Hey, I had tuition to pay.

Mallet said...

You don't need to do this anymore man! Please, I've already read the showcase, I don't need to do it again. I'll cry if I have to.

Honestly Scip!

Ariel said...

Wow, I must go spend some quality time with myself and that panel now.

Scipio said...

"I've already read the showcase"

Then you have seen the deepness of the evil of which I speak.

And you, too, shall testify.

Allan said...

The Acolytes of Dibny shall not forget this blasphemy, heretic and follower of the breakdancing hero whose name is never to be spoken.

You have made the list and there will come a reckoning.

ALL HAIL GINGOLD AND THE INFALLIBILITY OF THE TWITCHING NOSE!!!!!

Shadow said...

Look, for a guy who could stretch his body to any length possible, why use his ass?

Dwayne "the canoe guy" said...

Hey, I don't need a crack like that.

hilker said...

Apparently the Acolytes of Dibny are fundament-alists.

Alexi Sivana said...

Take two showers and call Dr. Ruth in the morning.

Moose N Squirrel said...

So? Aquaman's an undersea dictator who molests fish.

Allan said...

"Apparently the Acolytes of Dibny are fundament-alists."

The A of D are not amused by your wordplay!

List!

ohgrl said...

Always remember, kids: Crack Kills.

Shadow said...

What Ralph says makes me want to shower for a whole week: "Up is the right word!". Ugh!

Scipio said...

Read "52" yet this week, gang?

Wicked crazy freaks, both of them.

Ariel said...

Yeah, baby, that HAWT last panel with Ralph makin' time with his dead wife doll, YEAH mmm baby, it doesn't get any better than this.

Scipio said...

They could have doubled with Lois and the Superman Whipping Doll.

Blockade Boy said...

Gah, that doll! That's one of those things that points out how photographs are hard to indicate in the typical pen-and-ink comic book panel. Because my first thought when I saw the dreadful thing was, "Oh, so now they've sliced Sue's face off her dead body and stretched it onto a wicker doll. And she seems kind of jazzed about it." *shudder*

Scipio said...

Yeah, that took me a sec to see rightly as well. Then I remember, "hey, her real face got flambed".

Runmentionable said...

When does he get to fight the Chocolate Starfish Conqueror?