Sunday, April 24, 2005

Superchef

Sometimes, I have to admit, I get jealous of Marvel.

Because they have hipper characters that regular people can relate to, more exciting adventures, and are more realistic than what DC does.

Tee-hee! Just kidding!

No, it's only weird Marvel stuff that makes me jealous on DC's behalf. Bitter, private mutterings like, "Darn it, howcum Marvel gets a superhero theme song in the pentatonic scale and not DC?" or "Why doesn't my comic book company ever get sued by European royalty?" And so, even though it was published nigh on to 30 years ago, I am still jealous about

the Marvel Cookbook.

Where's DC's cookbook, goldarned it? It's frustrating enough to make a JSAer swear!

"Clark Kent's Beef Bourguignon and Ketchup"
"Alfred Pennyworth's FrenchToast and Bandages"
"Ma Hunkle's Cookies and Milk"
"John Jones's Homemade Chocos"
"Oliver Queen's Four-Star Chili"
"Etta Candy's Woo-Woo Fudge"
"Carter Hall's Fried Chicken Wings"
"Victor Fries's Baked Alaska"
"Arthur Curry's Sushi Suprise"

The potential list of recipes is endless. You could even have a special all meat section co-authored by Poison Ivy, Jason Woodrue, and Swamp Thing, balanced by a vegan section from Beast Boy, Animal Man, and Vixen. Restaurants would spring up almost overnight, serving nothing but the more difficult recipes. Dining guides would start listing "DC Cuisine" between the Chinese and Ethiopian places. Cooking shows for comic geeks. Wines from the Vandal Savage Vintners. Boston Brand Beans. Titans Pizza to Go. DC could control not only what we read but what we eat.

Come, Marketing Department, get cooking!

7 comments:

Bill said...

I think there was a DC cookbook at one time or another. I seem to recall seeing something about it in that big DC book by Les Daniels. They showed a page for Perry White talking about (you guessed it) Great Caesar's Salad.

But DC has it up on Marvel in other ways. I don't ever remember Marvel getting a dictionary. The Super Dictionary, with various DC heroes used to help define bits of English vocab, ruled.

Scipio said...

Bill, I'd heard something about such a book, but a brief Google search didn't turn anything up.

Can anyone confirm? Any of you all own this rare gem?

Great Caesar Salad...heh heh heh.

naladahc said...

Actually the chili my boyfriend typically makes is more or less derived from Oliver Queen's chili recipe that appeared in the back of an issue or in a Secret Files or something.

Anonymous said...

Scott McCullar, or one of the other Green Arrow fansites, used to include an excerpt from the DC cookbook that gave directions for "Green Arrow's Secret Pizza." I can't find it any longer, though.
--Mr Ripley

John said...

I remember it, but I don't own a copy. I found several vendors selling used copies at abebooks.com, and Mile High has an image of the cover.

Gigamatt said...

Yeah, as Nala said, I do (almost always) make Ollie's chili recipe from the back of that Secret Files. Granted, I turn down the heat a bit if I'm eating it (no use burnin my tongue off), but if I'm trying to win a chili cookoff, I follow the recipe.

Ratbat said...

I remember this book...my local library had it, and yes, it's the 'Great Caesar's Salad' that I remember most also. (Sadly, said library doesn't seem to have it anymore.)