Saturday, July 14, 2007

HC Objects: Green K


Remember those halycon days when every two-bit heistman who could afford a thin tie and a sharp hat to wear at his bank jobs had a pocketful of kryptonite at his disposal?

That way, he'll be dead and embarrassed about it.


Well, now, kids, you can relive those silver days with this kryptonite pog:






It'll cost you 15 points to swap this sucker out for one of the regular objects at the beginning of the game. Whenever it's within Superman's range, the Kryponite pog cancels out any powers on his dial, as well as any Team Ability.







The lead shield is for your opponent to use. When holding it Superman isn't affected by the Kryptonite, but he can't make ranged attacks. The lead shield, however, is useless if the person holding the kryptonite is adjacent to Superman. Superman cannot carry another object or figure while he is holding the lead shield.

Friday, July 13, 2007

What the kids call the "shout outs"

Couple quick shout outs!

  • Thank you very much, Mike Carey, who visited us for a signing at Big Monkey DC yesterday! I promise to send you that picture of you with all the ladies, Mike...! My favorite part was when Jon tried to convince Mike that he was his illegitimate son...
  • Forget Jesus. Forget Superman. What would Lance do?
  • If you think blogging every day is hard, try doing it with a painting.

Hysteron Proteron


In Classics, my specialty was poetry, in the analysis of which we use lots of terms to describe the tricks of the literary trade. Many are still used to describe modern poetry and literature as well.

Today, while reading The Most Sexist Story Ever Told in the Batgirl Showcase, I came upon a stunning example of hysteron proteron.

Hysteron proteron is saying something in reverse chronological order. The classic example would be, "I am dead (or "I die"); you wound me." Obviously, the wounding comes first and then the dying. But by saying them in the other order, special emphasis and poetic effect is achieved (dying, after all, is more important than being wounded).

Well, that's not exactly what happens in Detective 371, but I've got no other term for it (other than, perhaps, "reversed priorities"). Observe.

Batman and Robin, disguised as beatniks, enter the domicile of one of their stoolies.

Why are they disguised as beatniks, you ask?
Because it's 1968, about 5 years after the end of the beatnik generation. Duh.



So, naturally, the first thing they do is check to see whether he's alive and call for an ambulance.

And, yes, I know he said, "Dick--in his hands!"
That one's too easy for me to bother with, folks.



I said, "the first thing they do is check to see whether he's alive and call for an ambulance."

I actually skipped at panel of Scooby Doo cluifying, by the way.


I hope Batman never finds me wounded and unconscious; I'd die while he was still trying to decipher what message I was sending him with the Heroclix clutched in my hands.


Whether Stuffy's alive or not isn't important to the story; he's a plot device. But the clue is important. So the normal sequence of events ("check to see whether victim is alive, then get medical help") is reversed for sake of emphasis. Note, in fact, that Batman actually SAYS that Stuffy "passed out" before checking for a pulse.

It must be comforting for the citizens of Gotham to know that Batman is more interesting in chasing people who rob from sawmill factories than in saving lives.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Things That Made Me Happy...

in my comics this week.

  • The Riddler and Mary Marvel are the new Blue & Gold!
  • Hal's root fear? Very clever.
  • Busiek's Prankster always makes me happy.
  • Jean Loring's name bolded and italicized. Jean Loring's name should always be bolded and italicized.
  • Hey, the Guardians read graphic novels!
  • Donna Troy continues her ascent into groovyness.
  • It's great to see that, if I can't see Superman acting like himself in JLA, I can see it in JSA instead!
  • The Palmerverse.
  • Lois Lane is very good at what she does.
  • That's okay, Batman; I never liked Karate Kid either. Still, you might consider switching to decaf.
  • The cover to Green Lantern is awfully YELLOW, isn't it?
  • Superman eating sloppy joes at a mental asylum.
  • Hawkman at the forge.
  • Who says Arkham never cures anyone? Look how many times they've cured Harley Quin!
  • The cover of the Batgirl Showcase.
  • This is the week I finally fell in love with Power Girl and it was because of what she's like, not how she looks.
  • "Edison juice"? "Edison juice"?!
  • Superman getting a pie in the face is always worth a splash page.
  • XS? Interesting.
  • Mike Carey signing at Big Monkey today!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Signature Sayings: Hourman

Okay, now that we've talked Wonder Woman down off the metaphorical ledge (with the promise of Gail Simone), we need to return to our project already in progress: finding me some signature sayings cribbed from the wisdom of the Justice Society.

Hm. Hourman's up next, and I'm not sanguine about my chances there. Hourman's not much of an orator. Not much of a witticist, either. And not really--oh, heck, he's nothing more than pill-popping, drug-addled Dr. Jekyll in spandex. Still, I am obliged to try.

Rex, whaddaya got for me?

"Wait--I'll try an old trick!"

Uh, yeah. Everyone's already used to hearing me say that, Rex, and I'm not exactly proud of it. Nix on that.

"Anything to oblige!"

No, Rex; that saying is the reason I wound up with all those old tricks in the first place. Can you try a little harder?

"This IS fun!"

You're not helping, Rex.

"Now for the others!"

Yeah, you're a regular riot, Rex. If you didn't want to help, you could have just said so. Perhaps if you have nothing constructive to say, you shouldn't say anything at all!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

LATE-BREAKING HAIKU!

We interrupt our regularly scheduled derision of the Justice Society for this breaking news:


WONDER WOMAN IS ATTEMPTING SUICIDE!!!

"Robot plane fly fast!
Dive for the ground at full speed!"
says Wonder Woman.


I'll say this for her; it takes substantial presence of mind to compose haiku (even partial ones) while committing aeronautic suicide. They don't call her Wonder Woman for nothing.

What drove her to such desperate straits? Her conflict with her mother? The delay of her movie? The death of Ellie Wood Walker? I've been trying to ask her, but she's not answering the mental radio!

But we know she's listening to it; we must use it to save her!

Please, for the the love of Zeus, compose a haiku that addresses the cause of Wonder Woman's distress or, better yet, convinces her that life is still worth living. Hera, guide my stanzas!

Monday, July 09, 2007

Society Signatures: The Spectre

For those of you just tuning in, I've been searching for signature phrases for myself, culled from the utterances of the Justice Society. Saturday, we got Alan Scott's scampish entry, followed by Wesley Dodd's ribald riposte on Sunday.

Today we visit the corpse of Jim Corrigan. Surely the Spectre will have something awe-inspiring to say!

YOUR ASKING FOR IT!

Hm, that's a little more ... pedestrian that what I was hoping for, Spec. And less grammatical.
By the way, a note to all you Halloweeners out there; if the Spectre comes Trick or Treating, do NOT give him sourballs. He won't be amused and neither will your next of kin.
Got anything with some more pizzazz, Jimbo?


Ooo! That's fabulous! "Oom's trickery!" is the kind of thing that rolls off your tongue. Plus, it sounds great boomed at top volume at Lauriol Plaza when your waiter brings you a watered down soda.

Still, I'd be kind of worried to use it. It sounds sort of D&D, you know? Wouldn't want anyone to think I was a geek... .

What else ya got?

Well, yes, that does have a ring to it. But people have heard me say that a thousand times already. And that was just at my last birthday party. Besides, I'm looking for something pithier.

Perfect. That'll do nicely. And I can use it every time I finally get the dog to fall asleep.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Society Signatures: Sandman

Well, now that I've gotten an entry from Green Lantern's repertoire for my possible use as a signature saying, I'll call on another mystery man: The eerie Sandman!

What do you have to offer me, Wesley?

Uh ... okay. Thanks. But doesn't that need something else, like "A plane! A lifesaver! No, it's Scipio!"? I mean "A Plane! A Lifesaver!" sounds more like an unfinished palindrome than a signature saying, Wes. Let's try again...


Whoa, sorry, Wes; didn't mean to interrupt one of your opium/absinthe binges; glad I wore the glove. Besides, I'm not really a gas-inhaling, Miraclo-popping kind of guy, so I don't think I'll find that saying very useful.

Don't you have something a little, I dunno, punchier? Something more appropriate for a guy like me, that I can find occasions to say?

Bingo! Thanks, Wes!