Tuesday, May 02, 2006

"WHEEEE!!!!"

Most modern writers of Plastic Man follow his portrayal in Phil Foglio's post-Crisis Plastic Man miniseries, styling Plas as a superpowered Jim Carrey on double espressos, his perceptions warped by his odd powers.

That's one way to go with the character, but it certainly wasn't the way Plas's creator, Jack Cole, went. The Golden Age Plas himself was almost never intentionally humorous (forgoing even the usual punnage typical of his contemporary heroes). Although his situations, powers, and supporting cast were exceedingly wacky, Plastic Man was pretty much the 'straight man' in his own adventures. Perhaps that's why Plastic Man was so much funnier then than he is now.

Fortunately, I've discovered what warped the former F.B.I. agent's mind along the way:

marijuana.

"I want him good and
crazy when we set him free!"
"Whee!! I'm a killer!"


Just get Eel to rehab and some NA meetings and I'm sure he'll be back to his Golden Age self in no time!

Oh, and this panel also lends support to my theory that in the Golden and Silver Ages, writers had access to MUCH more powerful drugs than they do today.

Do you have the creativity to haiku in response to Plas's reefer madness ... without resorting to wacky weed?

22 comments:

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Oh my God, he's got reefer madness!

Anonymous said...

I told Plastic Man
He forgot to add two spoons
Full of olive oil

Harvey Jerkwater said...

When the munchies come
Just how many Doritos
Will fit in his maw?

Doobie doobie doo
Woozy Winks helps Plas chill out
Dark Side of the Moon

Jack Cole, pagan god.
Plastic Man Archives costly.
Consarn publishers.

Anonymous said...

When I smoke weed I
don't say 'whee I'm a killer.'
I just eat Cheetos.

Anonymous said...

it's 4:20 now
Plastic Man is getting high
now you're gonna die

David said...

the fruity pebbles
shoveled into giant maw
his hands are two spoons

Marc Burkhardt said...

No haiku, but you hit the nail on the head re: Plas' characterization. Don't know why modern writers can't replicate Cole's approach - except for the fact that COLE WAS A GENIUS.

(Or smoked a lot of wacky weed!!)

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Unknown said...

Seven leaves, Plas Man,
are best left alone by one
who bends to the nines.

Anonymous said...

The whole DCU
Has been Eel's drug-inspired dream
Since 1943.

Anonymous said...

Plastic Man got stoned
Proving it's a gateway drug
Led me to fandom

Anonymous said...

Silver Age writers'
Drugs stronger than Morrison's?
That's fricken' insane.

J'onn J'onzz, Martian Manhunter said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

The theory falls flat
For Silver Age Plas tales
Were utterly lame.

Again and again
They tried to copy Jack Cole
But there was no spark.

Even Foglio
-- who has made "The Spark" his own --
Did not quite "get" Plas.

A world full of capes
And straight-laced super-heroes
Can't use a straight man.

If Eel must be squeezed --
sHOEHORNED in the DCU --
He needs a new role.

Grant Morrison found
A role perfectly suited:
Pantheon's Trickster.

Anonymous said...

No Haiku.

Just wondering about,

"NA meetings"

What good will it do him to be around those lame ducks.

Maybe Ironman could help him though, he's gone through something simaler before.

Anonymous said...

"Although his situations, powers, and supporting cast were exceedingly wacky, Plastic Man was pretty much the 'straight man' in his own adventures. Perhaps that's why Plastic Man was so much funnier then than he is now."

Absolutely. Although to be fair, Kyle Baker often did his best to return to that mold in the now-defunct solo Plaz title, with a more-or-less straight-laced Plastic Man living in a cartoon universe.

Anonymous said...

As a result of
super powers, for Plas,
pot is an upper.

Now if only he
had a box of Chocos, he
an J'onn could party.

T said...

Plastic Man was once
the straight man but thanks to weed
He can't stop bending

JP said...

Weed be delighted
To be fed some more reefer
Crime-fighting has perks

MarkAndrew said...

Lungfish...

"Absolutely. Although to be fair, Kyle Baker often did his best to return to that mold in the now-defunct solo Plaz title, with a more-or-less straight-laced Plastic Man living in a cartoon universe."

I didn't get this AT ALL from the first couple of issues... Which is why I dropped the book.

(Well, that and the annoying computer art.)

I'll track down the back issues if it brings in the real Plastic Man.

Anonymous said...

Anyone else read the Jack Cole book art spiegleman wrote a few years ago? I liked it a bunch. According to spiegleman, Jack Cole was not one to partake of the wacky tobacky. As far as anyone could recall, he was pretty straight-laced.

Plastic Man's partner:
He kicked Woozy Winks to the
curb for Mary Jane.

Bully said...

Jack Cole: killed by Eel?
Instead of by his own hand?
(So tasteless. I know.)