Saturday, May 27, 2006

The Widow-Maker: Meet our racers!

Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines! It's 1969, and the Wacky Races is one of the most popular cartoons on television. Let meet the stars of this episode...

In the role of Dick DastardlyWilli Van Dort, driving the story's eponymous "Widow-Maker"!

There are several subtle clues that Willi is the villain of the piece.
1. His outfit is black.
2. To match his car.
3. Which is called "the Widow-Macher".
4. "Macher"? Yup, because Willi's German; you know that before he even speaks, because his helmet's got one of those evil German sevens with the slanty line through it.
5. Upon which is superimposed a skull.
6. He is astonishingly ugly in the hatchet-faced way that only villains -- and all villains -- in the Sekowskyverse are.


In the role of Peter PerfectOur damsel in distress, Batman, driving the Wayne Special. Yes, really. Way to keep the ID secret, B-man. I bet next week he's gonna let Batgirl ride Waynebow in the Bruce Wayne Handicap.

Holy cow! Is Batman ... a goner?!


And our heroine, in the role of Penelope PitstopWonder Woman, in her depowered era, dashing to the rescue of the goner-to-be, before she had time to fix her hair that morning. Now you know why she used to wear the tiara. Plus pounds and pounds of salon-quality haircare products. WW is driving, not the Compact Pussycat, but her own suped-up...

Pikachumobile.


to be continued....

9 comments:

Jon Hendry said...

If Batman doesn't get that cape under control, he's gonna end up like Isadora Duncan.

EM said...

Pikachumobile...I think I'm In love....

The Fortress Keeper said...

Good thing Diana is driving the Pikachumobile. In any other car, she'd be a goner!

totaltoyz said...

The Wacky Races never made sense to me. I mean, in order to set all those Rube Goldbergish traps for the other racers, Dick Dastardly had to be far out ahead of them, right? Why didn't he just forget about the giant custard pie on a trip-wire and drive, fercrissakes?? He could've won every time!!

Scipio said...

"in order to set all those Rube Goldbergish traps for the other racers, Dick Dastardly had to be far out ahead of them, right?"

Keep that in mind a little longer, Dale; keep that in mind...

Axel M. Gruner said...

"one of those evil German sevens with the slanty line through it."
???
What...
...the...
???
Is there any difference to those goody-good French sevens with the slanty line through it?

Anonymous said...

>>???
Is there any difference to those goody-good French sevens with the slanty line through it? <<

The one on the helmet looks like a neonazi Werewolf symbol disguised as a seven to get around the laws in Germany banning the display of Nazi stuff.

The Thing That Walks Like A Man said...

Why didn't he just...drive, fercrissakes?? He could've won every time!! -- Totaltoyz



What self-respecting funnybook/cartoon/etc fan asks that kind of question?

It ruins the magic, it does!

Martin said...

This won't truly have success, I think this way.
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