So there I was, innocently leafing through my copy of Wizard, because (1) as a comic book store owner I'm expected to read it (2) it helps me keep current on publishers whose work I don't read (3) subscribing is the only way to get certain limited edition Heroclix figures (sigh).
And I find myself reading the previews pages of and article about the upcoming Mighty Avengers series by Brian Michael Bendis, and I turn to the dog (easy to do, since he's always within a 3 foot radius) and said,
"Well, sweetie-face, that sounds like fun; I'm going to have to pick that up."
When I heard the words come out of my mouth I dashed to the bathroom mirror and stared at myself, "It's ... it's my face, but it isn't me! There's someone else behind my face!!!" I splashed it with agua fria, then Aqua Velva, hoping to exorcise the demon it was hiding.
All in vain! I still found myself intrigued by this "Mighty Avengers" group...
Ms. Marvel and Sentry; what a cute couple! What simple, iconic costumes! Ares-- hmm, I'm bet he's hot without that helmet.
Black Widow; wow, it's a chick with a giant gun! Is she Montoya's ex, too? Did she escape from an Indy book? Shot her way out, I bet...
This polite and witty "Iron Man" person, who chats with his armor as a Green Lantern does with his ring. The Wasp ... okay, well, she just seems like another one of Marvel's myriad bug people. But hunkalicious Wonder Man with his fabulous metrosexual outfit? Why, he almost looks like a DC character (like if Mr. Terrific had a gay white cousin). He certainly has me wondering.
They even seemed to have a good balance of powers and personalities. They sort of reminded me of the JLA or the Legion. Except, you know... inefficient.
The most Marvelly things about it were the snappy patter, which was a rather a dollop snappier than was appropriate for the situation; I blame Joss Whedon. And, of course, they weren't fighting some singular Villain Whose Name Ends in "O", like a decent supergroup should. Sadly, they were fighting yer basic Marvel BUMWUPs (Big Ugly Monsters With Unlikely Physiogonomy). I guess the GOMVARs (Giant Open-Mouthed Vaguely Aztec Robots) were busy.
It still seemed kind of .... fun.
For the love of god, Montressor, what has happened to me? I'm not supposed to like anything ... "Marvel". And no one is supposed to like anything Brian Michael Bendis.
Is it Stan Lee? Did he infect me with a Marvel meme, digitally transmitted via "Who Wants To Be A Zoopuh-heerow?"? Is it some vicious cosmic karma for dissing Marvel so much? Or have the scales tipped, and, after decades of DC succumbing to self-Marvelization that it's now rejecting, has Marvel contracted "DC Disease" enough to put out a major title that even--
P.S. Yeah, buddy, I call the dog "sweetie face" sometimes...