Sunday, September 03, 2006

New Lurch of the Poisoned Mind

HELP! I think I've been .... been poisoned!!!!

So there I was, innocently leafing through my copy of Wizard, because (1) as a comic book store owner I'm expected to read it (2) it helps me keep current on publishers whose work I don't read (3) subscribing is the only way to get certain limited edition Heroclix figures (sigh).

And I find myself reading the previews pages of and article about the upcoming Mighty Avengers series by Brian Michael Bendis, and I turn to the dog (easy to do, since he's always within a 3 foot radius) and said,

"Well, sweetie-face, that sounds like fun; I'm going to have to pick that up."

When I heard the words come out of my mouth I dashed to the bathroom mirror and stared at myself, "It's ... it's my face, but it isn't me! There's someone else behind my face!!!" I splashed it with agua fria, then Aqua Velva, hoping to exorcise the demon it was hiding.

All in vain! I still found myself intrigued by this "Mighty Avengers" group...

Ms. Marvel and Sentry; what a cute couple! What simple, iconic costumes! Ares-- hmm, I'm bet he's hot without that helmet.

Black Widow
; wow, it's a chick with a giant gun! Is she Montoya's ex, too? Did she escape from an Indy book? Shot her way out, I bet...

This polite and witty "Iron Man" person, who chats with his armor as a Green Lantern does with his ring. The Wasp ... okay, well, she just seems like another one of Marvel's myriad bug people. But hunkalicious Wonder Man with his fabulous metrosexual outfit? Why, he almost looks like a DC character (like if Mr. Terrific had a gay white cousin). He certainly has me wondering.

They even seemed to have a good balance of powers and personalities. They sort of reminded me of the JLA or the Legion. Except, you know... inefficient.

The most Marvelly things about it were the snappy patter, which was a rather a dollop snappier than was appropriate for the situation; I blame Joss Whedon. And, of course, they weren't fighting some singular Villain Whose Name Ends in "O", like a decent supergroup should. Sadly, they were fighting yer basic Marvel BUMWUPs (Big Ugly Monsters With Unlikely Physiogonomy). I guess the GOMVARs (Giant Open-Mouthed Vaguely Aztec Robots) were busy.

It still seemed kind of .... fun.

For the love of god, Montressor, what has happened to me? I'm not supposed to like anything ... "Marvel". And no one is supposed to like anything Brian Michael Bendis.

Is it Stan Lee? Did he infect me with a Marvel meme, digitally transmitted via "Who Wants To Be A Zoopuh-heerow?"? Is it some vicious cosmic karma for dissing Marvel so much? Or have the scales tipped, and, after decades of DC succumbing to self-Marvelization that it's now rejecting, has Marvel contracted "DC Disease" enough to put out a major title that even--

even I--

would like?

P.S. Yeah, buddy, I call the dog "sweetie face" sometimes...

Can you blame me?


23 comments:

Anonymous said...

-Re-read Battle for Bludhaven
-Watch a few episodes of JLU (personally recommend Flash and Substance)
-Compare Aquaman and Namor

If after that you still like Marvel, call Dr. Scott and remember that there's no Vibe in the MU

Oh, and your dog really should audition for the new Destructo

Scipio said...

There's no Vibe in the DCU either... or Aquaman. Bludhaven's evaporated and JLU's cancelled.

Your points remain strong, but DC isn't helping your case...!

Son of Blog-El said...

Don't worry about it Scip. I go both ways.

With my comic books I mean!

Chawunky said...

What's interesting about the Namor/Aquaman comparison is that Namor compares more favorably to Black Adam. I'm not sure if that's in his favor or not.

The thing is, when Marvel comics aren't angst-ridden or self-consciously "serious" (which times can be somewhat few and far between) they can sometimes achieve this "fun" I've heard so much about that comics must not do without.

Case in point: The much-lamented Thing solo series. That Marvel didn't know what they had is the problem.

Mallet said...

"-Compare Aquaman and Namor"

You sir are insane.

Oh and Scipio, did you try Aqua Velvet?

Brandon said...

Read two issues of Marvel Adventures Avengers to begin slowly steering yourself away from this dangerous flirtation with the regular MU titles.

Then, read the first five issues of Justice League of America collected in the Showcase Presents trade.

If the symptoms persist, you may have to amputate.

Gokitalo said...

"And no one is supposed to like anything Brian Michael Bendis."

It's just me, isn't it? I'm always the only one...

Well, New Avengers is the exception. And Avengers Disassembled *shudder*

Gokitalo said...

"It's just me, isn't it? I'm always the only one..."

My Spider-Man impression, ladies and gentlemen!

roel said...

You know what -- life is full of enough small disappointments and setbacks that if you can find any moments of pure joy and entertainment, you shouldn't ruin the moment by questioning it. "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth," as they say. If you can find a comic book that makes you happy, it would be silly to focus too much on the name of the publisher on the front cover. DC, Marvel, Image, Dark Horse, Fantagraphics, Tokyo Pop -- whatever. A good story is a good story, and a moment of joy is a moment of joy.

I mean, do we do that with motion pictures? Do we say, "I like Warner Brothers movies, but won't watch anything by Paramount?"

My wish for all the readers of this blog is that they find as many comic book titles by as many publishers that they can enjoy. I feel like everyone can use more joy in life. Right?

totaltoyz said...

Judging from what little I can see in that picture, Wonder Man's "fabulous metrosexual outfit" looks an awful lot like what he wore from 1978-85...

Shadow said...

What kind of paint were you using on that Prof. Radium Heroclix and did you somehow ingest it?

Allan said...

Poor thing. We're going to have to have him put down.

But then who's going to take care of that adorable dog?

totaltoyz said...

What kind of paint were you using on that Prof. Radium Heroclix and did you somehow ingest it?

Well, that was uncalled for. I clearly said "from what little I can see in that picture". That picture sure looks like he's wearing a red safari jacket.

Harvey Jerkwater said...

Wonder Man is a great character, though his history of costuming is frightening. If he's gone back to the red safari jacket, so much the better.

Here are a few of his past horrors. Great character, though. I enjoyed his solo series in the mid-nineties quite a bit. Though it started light and fun, and got (egh) darker and grumpier as it went on. Also, big crossovers interfered. Blech. I guess light and fun didn't sell then either. Le sigh.

Gokitalo said...

"Judging from what little I can see in that picture, Wonder Man's "fabulous metrosexual outfit" looks an awful lot like what he wore from 1978-85..."

Yup, yup, I think that's what Brian Bendis refers to as "leisure-suit" Wonder Man.

"You know what -- life is full of enough small disappointments and setbacks that if you can find any moments of pure joy and entertainment, you shouldn't ruin the moment by questioning it. 'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth,' as they say. If you can find a comic book that makes you happy, it would be silly to focus too much on the name of the publisher on the front cover. DC, Marvel, Image, Dark Horse, Fantagraphics, Tokyo Pop -- whatever. A good story is a good story, and a moment of joy is a moment of joy.

"I mean, do we do that with motion pictures? Do we say, 'I like Warner Brothers movies, but won't watch anything by Paramount?'

"My wish for all the readers of this blog is that they find as many comic book titles by as many publishers that they can enjoy. I feel like everyone can use more joy in life. Right?"

I feel the same way, but if Scip feels differently, that's cool. Besides, I think one difference between movie companies and comic companies, or at least Marvel and DC, is that on a general level, they have distinct traits that set them apart from each other (though maybe it's the same thing with movie companies, I wouldn't really know). The big difference is that, at least when it comes to their major characters, DC generally focuses on people who are heroes, while Marvel generally focuses on heroes who are people. And I figure Scipio prefers the former, hence his shock at his interest in "Mighty Avengers"

Roel said...

Of course Scipio is allowed to prefer DC over Marvel. But I feel bad that everyone is trying to dissuade him from enjoying a new book. That seems sad and unnecessary.

Sure, Marvel has a different style from DC. But if Scipio has found a book that appeals to him, why should it matter that Marvel is different?

What I'm saying is that we shouldn't let our loyalties prevent us from wonderful new experiences. Don't judge a book by its publisher, judge it on its own merits. And if you do end up liking a Marvel book -- don't feel guilty and apologetic over it. It defeats the whole purpose of "enjoyment."

Gokitalo said...

Indeed.

Scipio said...

"Well, that was uncalled for."

Dale, since that was Shadow's first comment to this post I think it's safe to assume he was referring to MY comment about being poisoned...

Scipio said...

"But I feel bad that everyone is trying to dissuade him from enjoying a new book. That seems sad and unnecessary."

LORDY, but you people are needlessly serious!

Shadow said...

Indeed I was. Very observant.

totaltoyz said...

Dale, since that was Shadow's first comment to this post I think it's safe to assume he was referring to MY comment about being poisoned...

Well, maybe so. If that's the case I apologize. Since he obviously saw the post about the Prof Radium Clix I assumed he read the post and knew I had made it, and therefore his question about what paint was used was directed to me. If I'm wrong about that, I apologize.

Again, all I can see of Wonder Man's "new" costume is what I can see in that group shot, i.e. from the waist up, and it sure looks like he's gone back to his early 80s safari jacket look.

Moose N. Squirrel said...

Scipio, no matter how fun the premise may sound... it's Brian Bendis. Those characters will spend six issues standing around a water cooler speaking in stilted dialogue before breaking out into an awkward, poorly-resolved, two-page fight sequence involving either ninjas or Madam Hydra. I tell you, this is your kryptonite!

Rohan Williams said...

I hate to say I saw this coming with the post about the Fantastic Four movie awhile back... changes are afoot...

I'm a DC man too, but some Marvel titles have been really fantastic. Really.