Monday, April 03, 2006

The Hal Jordans

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present Hal Jordan ...

and ... Hal Jordan.


Two great tastes that taste great together.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well...you have to admit,Hal has come a long way since then....

Doctor Polaris said...

You do the world a great service by exposing my enemy's weaknesses.

Scipio said...

Actually, Doc, I'm not certain whether Hal's head is his greatest weakness or his greatest strength.

Perhaps it is both.

Anonymous said...

Hey Doc, go stick to a refrigerator.

Jon said...

Who the heck is that Pwning Hal? The composite Supergirl? Amazette?

Scipio said...

Why, Jon, that's

THE SUPER-DUPER

a composite foe dreamt up by one of the JLA's many "ugly lowerclass foes with an all powerful wishing machine."

It (?) was discussed earlier on this blog, in our August 21, 2005, post on the Unsecret Society of Super Composites.

It also seems DESIGNED to haunt your nightmares, doesn't it?

Steven said...

So the Super-Duper has Hal's arms, but not his ring, Batman's belt and target shirt, Hawkman's wings and suspenders, Wonder Woman's chest and head, but Flash's legs and, I assume, crotch?

Okay, ignoring that bit of hermaphrodism, it(?) has "Super" in its name and not a single Kryptonian body part?

If I could dream up a superhero to take on the Justice League, it would just be completely Superman, since every 5 years he casually beats the crap out of JLA, just cause.

Also, besides the obvious, why is Hal totally rigid? Erm, I mean, stiff as a board? Uh, completely erect? Oh damn it!

You know what I mean.

Scipio said...

1. The character who imagined the Super Duper into existence is portrayed as not being very bright.

2. If I recall correctly, it was a composite of the characters it was fighting.

3. Superman DOES do that, doesn't he?

4. Looks like a life-size Hal action figure, huh?

Marcos said...

Actually, that looks like a male chest, so the Wonder Woman resemblance must stop at the neck. (Compare to how Hal's chest is drawn - so no boobies, just the kind of hardbody musculature that only mesomorphs with a workout obsession can get in real life but everyone in comic books has naturally, even if their only super-power is something that leads to less exercise, like, I don't know, telekinetic beer-fetching),

On the other hand, despite not having any Wonder Womanly parts below the neck, it does seem to have her lasso. So maybe it has a power ring, too, and just isn't using it in this panel.

If there's any actual connection between the body parts and associated abilities, Flash's legs are a good bet, but I'd have gone with Batman's head instead of (or in addition to) his utility belt. Still, I agree, a Superman clone would be sufficient...

Marcos said...

And it was really called the "Super-Duper"?! Was it Jimmy Olsen who dreamed it up??

Nimbus said...

4. Looks like a life-size Hal action figure, huh?

Perhaps it's a life-size wooden puppet and Hal and Clark have the same taste in women and/or sexual fantasies?

Scipio said...

Yes, it was really called the "Super-Duper", and, sadly, it never met Jimmy Olsen.

Steven said...

marco, I rechecked the picture Scipio posted before.

You're right, definitely a male chest. On the other hand, you can clearly see all of it's fingers. No ring.

David J Oakes said...

It is not only a male chest, it is a Bat-chest! You can just make out the yellow-oval bat-symbol behind Hawkman's harness.

The failure to composite the unbeatable synergy of Batman's head and Wonder Woman's chest would be (partially) made up for later with Replikon, a combination of Batman, WW, and Flash.

(Still a male chest, however - and she is a mother! Without a lasso, Diana's contribution is reduced to a stylized "WW" chest symbol. Which merges strangely with Flash's lightning belt - in his crotch. The Bronze Age held it's own against Gold and Silver in the "Weird symbolism that kids should never be exposed to" department.)

Jon said...

Super-Duper is a pretty lame combination of JL attributes. Other than Flash's legs, they seem to have arranged those parts in about the worst way. I'd say that if I only had those JL-ers to work with, I would put

- Batman's brain, inside
- Wonder Woman's head, on top of
- Wonder Woman's torso and arms, with
- Flash's legs, plus
- Katar's wings, Hal's ring, Diana's lasso, and maybe Bruce's belt.

Although seriously, Bruce's brain inside Flash's or Wonder Woman's body, or all of Bruce with Hal's ring should be enough to take out the rest of the League.

Chance said...

...or all of Bruce with Hal's ring should be enough to take out the rest of the League.

Or anyone at all except Hal who had the ring. Or Kyle. Because those motards don't seem to know how to use it.

Ragnell said...

I'd got with Bruce's Brain and the Flash's body, simply because of the speed advantage over WW. The Flash should be able to take anyone out in the DCU, but he's proven not to be smart enough to. Batman is smart enough to, but not always fast enough to.

Diamondrock said...

Yeah, did you see that JLU where Lex Luthor gets swapped into the Flash's body? He used the abilities much more intelligently than Wally ever did.

That's a great episode...

Steven said...

There was a line about Luthor using Flash's powers more destructively, not more intelligently. That Flash knew how to do any of those things, but chooses not to.

That said, the other half of the episode was great because Wally's not that bright. I've been using "No-o. Because I'm evil" around the office a bit too much since then.

Oh and, Barry's body, Hal's ring, my brain. Cause if it's Bruce's brain, he's not going to be kicking the League's ass.

Dorkamus Prime said...

Y'know, I have to agree with Ragnell's comment that the Flash should be able to take out anyone in the DCU-- this has bugged me (in the "jesus I'm a comic geek" sort of way) ever since the Flash achieved light-speed levels. I mean, the dude can travel at 670,616,629.4 miles per hour! Hell, let's say he's taking it easy and only going half the speed of light, that's still 335 million miles per hour. I don't care how dumb a character is, you'd have to be a cabbage not to be undefeatable moving that fast. By the time the enemy's brain's electrical impulses are reaching his/her muscles, the fight should be over (whether Flash wants to knock them out or run through them and make them explode, or whatever). Flash may not be superstrong, but if you hit something going at 335 million miles an hour, physics says that thing ain't going to still exist. On a similarly related and equally annoying level, where are the sonic booms when the Flash breaks mach 1?

Dorkamus Prime said...

btw, when I write "annoying" at the end there, I mean that I am being annoying.

Jon said...

On a similarly related and equally annoying level, where are the sonic booms when the Flash breaks mach 1?

Johns would casually mention them from time to time, though they'd only do damage if it was Zoom causing them. I like to pretend that the shockwaves created by sonic booms are absorbed by Flash's frictionless aura. I don't know how it'd work at all, but it gets me through the day.

Mike Condon said...

Barry was able to give the earth 1 Superman a decent battle, although he never had a chance of winning, because Superman could run almost as fast.

Wonder Woman is supposed to be as fast as Jesse Quick, but doesn't have the agility to use her speed effectively in combat.

Secret Word ylmsnd What's on Nexus's beach.

Arynne said...

Don't laugh at Doc Polaris too much...he actually killed Hal once!