Monday, September 26, 2005

How Aquaman Met Topo

On today's episode of
"The Loneliness of Aquaman Week":

Thanks to his aquatic telepathy,
Aquaman knows what it feels like for a fish.

Oh, I don't blame poor lonely Aquaman
or even the octoprostitutes themselves.

I blame the bearded maritime pimps
who profit from their desperation.

"Oh, Topo,
I can take you away from all this.
You're leaving with me."

Nice legs on those octiprostitutes. I wonder how many clams that set Arthur back?
I don't know, but he probably got crabs from the experience.
Fish puns?! No WONDER you people liked Peter David's Aquaman !!
Calm down, I don't like the TUNA your voice.
I just leafed through a Peter David Aquaman issue yesterday. He fought a villain named Rhombus.

Rhombus. Come on people. How can you defend this guy?
He's just another lonely four-sided shape making his way through the ocean?
Peter David wanted a villain who wouldn't make Aquaman seem

Scipio, wasn't there any way a round that pun?
Mmm, not from my angle, Dale.

See; I could write Aquaman as well as Peter David...
I cone not believe you said that.
I'm in no shape for bad punning.

Spheriously, people...
You might say the curse of bad puns has us all in hex-agony....
We're all peas in the same octopod.
Peter David is a slightly better than average comic book writer who thinks it means something to be slightly better than average in todays's comic book industry.

"But I Digress" was seriously annoying much of the time. Who gives a flying fuck what Peter David thinks of "Lawrence of Arabia"?

I never read his version of Aquaman. I just assumed it sucked like his Supergirl did.
I did, in the style of,

"Well, I really don't like this character at all, so I'm going to turn them into a completely DIFFERENT character with the same name, and pretend that it's character development instead of character assassination."
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