Haikuesday with Gene Colan and the Sea Devils!

Ah, the Sea Devils, the Homines Superiores of the Sea, the Demigods of the Deep, the Untersee Ubermenschen. I've always marveled at the Sea Devils, who, as repeatedly mentioned here at the Absorbascon, are paragons of humanity, as capable and impressive as the Challengers of the Unknown are incompetent and stumble-footed. Yet they get so little respect; why, they don't even have a page of TV Tropes (where even Small Wonder has a page).

While excited for the new directions that the creative team is taking with Aquaman, I was sad to see that Aquaman's hinted "former team" will turn out not to be the Sea Devils.

It's a pity. The Sea Devils are your classic four-man band (The Leader, The Girl, The Muscle, The Kid), a sort of underwater Fantastic Four without superpowers (other than super-awesomeness). They'd have been perfect "back-up singers" for Aquaman's adventures that preceded his discovery of Atlantis, and I would have loved to see the New52 Aquaman become the tentpole for the reintroduction of all DC's oceanic heroes. Alas.

The Sea Devils were so incredible, that, like Mr. Mxyzptlk or The Phantom Stranger, they pretty much do whatever they want, including violating the Fourth Wall...



and otherwise ignoring the barrier between their world and ours. Why, here's their own comic book artist-- Gene Colan -- joining them on one of their underwater adventures.


Wow. That's... wow. Could Namor or Dracula have dragged Gene Colan in their world? I don't think so.

Let alone induct Gene Colan into the joys of sweet, sweet octopus love?

I think not.

Speaking of "Wow", that's the name of the haiku that the amazing Gene Colan spouts as he and the Sea Devils escape one of their hourly close-calls.

We got away just
before that ancient ship was
swallowed up again!

Such is the ennobling effect of the Sea Devils on all who surround them, elevating them to the heights of human achievement, including casual haiku in the face of near destruction. What haiku can you compose in honor of the Sea Devils or Gene Colan?

Groovy Chick Month 6: Judy Walton

Like all the Sea Devils, Judy Walton is a vastly superior being. This is such common knowledge that I scarcely feel any need to elaborate. But that's never stopped me before.

Judy Walton is the Ultimate Woman, tantalizing in her perfection, yet ever unattainable, always just beyond your reach.




On an average dive, Judy Walton saves the life of a Treasury agent and captures a diamond smuggler, dismissing it as "Nothing much":

Little known fact:
Judy Walton invented waterproof lipstick.

Judy Walton saved Dane Dorrance from losing his innocence to a swordfish, using nothing more than a life preserver from the Marie Celeste. No, really; the Marie Celeste.

Underwater partners don't get more creative than Judy Walton, fellas.

Needless to say, Judy Walton knows the pleasures of sweet sweet octopus love.

Daily, in fact.

Judy Walton is no frilly female; she's as cool as an ice queen.

See? Told ya so.

Judy Walton has special abilities all her own. For example, her disturbing ice queen eyes and impermeable lip gloss give her precognitive abilities.

Oh, Judy; we don't need any sea witch but you, you enchantress!

Judy Walton can violate the fourth wall -- and you -- at will.

Apparently, it's genetic.

Judy Walton's incomparable interpersonal skills and elocution make her the mistress of any social situation, no matter how potentially awkward it might otherwise be.

Really, the more you stare at this panel and contemplate the context,
the worse it gets.

Judy Walton even has the ability to lead her companions telepathically in nursery rhymes in pig latin underwater.

Let's see Mera do that.

In short, Judy Walton is not merely a groovy chick, but, as mentioned, a vastly superior being. So don't mess with Judy Walton.

Unless she orders you to.