Thursday, March 26, 2009

Derek Lancaster says, "If you can't love Batman: The Brave and the Bold, you can never truly love me."

I'm not sure whether I've ever mentioned it here on the blog, but I went to an Ivy League school. Ivy Leaguers, as a rule, will gravitate toward one another in larger social settings. But go to any function with nothing but Ivy Leaguers, and then we all hate one another, so the evening usually sounds something like this.

  • "Is that the caterer or just a Cornell? I can never tell..."
  • "No olives in the martinis? I guess that wouldn't leave room for the Princetons."
  • "Looks like his wife went to Dartmouth, too. Unless that's his brother."

Anyway, Ivy Leaguers aren't the only group that outsiders think of as a lump who can get snotty with one another (although we do get particularly snotty). The same phenomenon occurs in any group; scientists, outdoorsmen, singers, whatever. And, of course, comic book fans... .

Usually, such in-sniping is all in good fun. But occasionally it bites back; have you ever had this (or the equivalent) happen to you...?

You've met this guy (or whatever) and he's hot and kind of sweet and chatty and into you, and something comic booky comes up and you're hesitant to 'come out' of the comic book closet, but then he's all, "Oh I love comics, too!"

At first, you think, "OMG; excellent! My future husband." UNTIL...

  • "Isn't Geo-Force the best?"
  • "Aquaman's such a loser!"
  • "Storm is my idol!"

Yes, they let loose with some comic book opinion so absurd, so benighted, that you're dumbfounded and unable to reply. "NO. You did not just say that. Please unsay that. My future happiness is dependent on your not having said that... . "

Because, yes, you can be friends with someone who loves Wolverine. But you can never, never marry them.

In this way, our love for comic books keeps us apart more than it brings us together.

Has something like this ever happened to you?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Things That Made Me Happy

in my comics this week.

  • Rioting, looting, fires burning unchecked, daring breakouts, National Guard enforcing curfews. Ah, Gotham. It's a helluva town.
  • And Diamondrock's right. It is so so so very wrong that her eyes are blue.
  • Even the Phantom Stranger's poppet does whatever it wants.
  • "Belay that talk, Amazon."
  • Wow, Superman was beautiful this month; you go, Guedes, Magalhase, and Curiel!
  • Ollie's idea of kinky sexy play.
  • Jim's nic fit.
  • "I'll have you know Gazerbeam and I once fought Mr. Bossy-pants."
  • Thank god Bibbo's not being portrayed as a congenital idiot any more.
  • Achilles?! Well... that's an interesting choice.
  • Oh, yeah; that's Jim Corrigan, the ass-kicking tough guy cop! Who sews.
  • That's the last hero I would have expected to go after a piece of tail!
  • Fire and ice.
  • "Well, hmm. I'm out." ROTFL!
  • The Mon-El watch.
  • Tong. So good to see Tong again, even if only in passing.
  • "He was a kind man." Yes. Thanks for remembering that.
  • How Amazons cover their nakedness.
  • Oh, nice gambit to make me like Halo. It's not working yet, but it's a nice try.
  • Well, if anyone would know about deserving to be hit repeatedly, it would be Hal.
  • Nice interpet on Mr. Freeze.
  • "You want a side of eggs with that ham?"
  • One of my favorite villains made Spider-Man punch himself in the face. BWAHAHAAHA!
  • Whoa. Do not &#$(@ with Commissioner Gordon.
  • Whoa. Do not make Wonder Woman do something she'll regret.
  • Whoa. That's ... Wendy's dad? Whoa. Whoa. Didn't see that coming.
  • Huh. The "anti-Luthor". Elegant; simple; a good role for him in a needed niche. I approve.
  • I guess I should have known Zatara was from Italy. But it never occurred to me.
  • What terrifies Phobia.
  • Gorbul Mammit; now that is a Flash fact!
  • Is it my imagination or is the deco architecture of Metropolis vaguely reminiscent of the crystalline structures of Krypton?
  • Now that is decapitation with drama! Thanks, Kevin Vanhook!
  • You know, if he had hit her, so-called feminists would be up in arms about it. Whose double-standard is it...?
  • "Foolish ornament"? Ouch, that hurts!
  • Is the Phantom Stranger wearing a sweater-vest? Just never know what he'll do.
  • Okay, I've always hated her. But now she's dissing Detroit. This means war.
  • John Kent's new job.
  • Homoerotic tension humor!
  • Zolpidem? Wow, they are desperate.
  • Ooo, I didn't think Genocide would go there. She really does know how to cut deep. But my money's still on Etta.
  • Do yourself a favor; don't miss the debut of the Incredibles comic this week. It made me happy.
  • So, even McDuffie knows his run hasn't accomplished anything? Brilliantly self-aware redux, part of his ingenious grand plan, or just unintentional irony?

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Pep 15: Jungle Theater


"I'm so lucky; me, a half-naked jungle savage on a date with Fantomah! She looks just like a supermodel...

While we're here at the Jungle Theater, waiting for the show to start, I'll get her something at the concessions stand. I wonder what's good...?

Delicious! Roast Blonde cooked over a Sergeant Boyle brand "War!" grill (model no. 00XX!!#!). No Jungle Woman can resist it! Let me catch the attendant's eye...

What th--?! Flag-costumed American interlopers!? Let my date go, you carrot-topped moppet! Ohh... reeling from-- Yankee underarm smell. Damn you, imperialist pigs! Must -- get help...

Security! Shoot him in the head, quickly! NO! NO, NOT ME, YOU IMBECILE,
NOT M--"