Thursday, March 26, 2009

Derek Lancaster says, "If you can't love Batman: The Brave and the Bold, you can never truly love me."

I'm not sure whether I've ever mentioned it here on the blog, but I went to an Ivy League school. Ivy Leaguers, as a rule, will gravitate toward one another in larger social settings. But go to any function with nothing but Ivy Leaguers, and then we all hate one another, so the evening usually sounds something like this.

  • "Is that the caterer or just a Cornell? I can never tell..."
  • "No olives in the martinis? I guess that wouldn't leave room for the Princetons."
  • "Looks like his wife went to Dartmouth, too. Unless that's his brother."

Anyway, Ivy Leaguers aren't the only group that outsiders think of as a lump who can get snotty with one another (although we do get particularly snotty). The same phenomenon occurs in any group; scientists, outdoorsmen, singers, whatever. And, of course, comic book fans... .

Usually, such in-sniping is all in good fun. But occasionally it bites back; have you ever had this (or the equivalent) happen to you...?

You've met this guy (or whatever) and he's hot and kind of sweet and chatty and into you, and something comic booky comes up and you're hesitant to 'come out' of the comic book closet, but then he's all, "Oh I love comics, too!"

At first, you think, "OMG; excellent! My future husband." UNTIL...

  • "Isn't Geo-Force the best?"
  • "Aquaman's such a loser!"
  • "Storm is my idol!"

Yes, they let loose with some comic book opinion so absurd, so benighted, that you're dumbfounded and unable to reply. "NO. You did not just say that. Please unsay that. My future happiness is dependent on your not having said that... . "

Because, yes, you can be friends with someone who loves Wolverine. But you can never, never marry them.

In this way, our love for comic books keeps us apart more than it brings us together.

Has something like this ever happened to you?

32 comments:

Hal Shipman said...

Yeah, but I married him anyway. And after 10 years, I've finally gotten him to admit that the X-Men largely suck. But every once in a while, he'll refer to "Jean," like they went to high school together. And then I scream into the pillow.

Frank Lee Delano said...

My girlfriend is going to make me see X-Men Legends: Wolverine... in no small part because of her love for Gambit. But see, she tells me I'm a pretty boy like Remy, so I'll choke down my revulsion at her interest in "Image" style art and Omega Red.

Diamondrock said...

I have this vague recollection of meeting a girl once... I know she liked comics. But I think her tastes in comics were so shocking, so terrifying in their Marvelness that I blocked it from my memory.

Or maybe it never happened and I'm insane. But I think it happened...

Scipio said...

"But every once in a while, he'll refer to "Jean," like they went to high school together. And then I scream into the pillow."

LMAO!

"she tells me I'm a pretty boy like Remy"

She... compares you to Gambit. And you haven't killed her yet? I mean, is there a jury that would convict you?

Scipio said...

"I think her tastes in comics were so shocking, so terrifying in their Marvelness that I blocked it from my memory."

There are at least 10,000 guys who would smilingly KILL you to get her phone number.

Dave said...

Please. I only wish I had your problems. When my boyfriend was (unnecessarily) pretending to be excited about the Fantastic Four movie, I asked if he could even name one of the members. To which he replied, "well, there's... um... Torch-Man..."

Marina said...

Yeah, let's not get too picky!
Where I live, the comicbook-reading population is so small, we have to date Manga people!

SallyP said...

It's true. My daughter's floor at college all got into the X-Men, and they ALL love Gambit. It's just so depressing.

I keep trying to tell them about Green Lanterns, and they all look at me, completely dumbfounded.

But seriously...Geo-Force is wonderful? How on earth, did you keep a straight face?

Scipio said...

That was merely an example of an insuperable obstacle to love, Sally, not an actual occurrence. I've never met anyone who'd say, "Isn't Geo-Force the best?"

Thank god.

philip said...

My girlfriend loves Gambit too. It's put a strain on our relationship because I can't respect her if she loves a man in a purple leather jumpsuit with a trenchcoat on over that and a bo staff in his hand.

John Trumbull said...

A guy in my improv troupe claimed that Thanos was better than Darkseid. Took me about 2 years to warm up to him after that.

TotalToyz said...

I don't think that happens to straight guys so much. Most of us are so happy to even meet a girl who reads comics, we gloss over little differences like her reading Legion of Super-Heroes or not knowing who Ramona Fradon is.

Mightymark said...

Punisher 2099. Punisher 2099. THAT was the the comic that she held out as an example of the comics she really liked.

Well, our relationship lasted shorter than that comic.

Roberts said...

Sounds like the Seinfeld episode where Elaine is really hot for one of the guys that moved Jerry's couch until Jerry goads her into applying her litmus test and asking how he feels about abortion...

As for me, I'm now on my second wife who thinks my comics habit is something I need to grow out of, although that is probably better than someone who adores Geo-Force, I admit.

I have to agree with TotalToyz though. I was really happy when I was sleeping with someone who liked RPGs, even if her tastes did extend to Vampire: The Reckoning LARPing...

Word Verification: ingush - Umm, sorry, that one's NSFW...

Patrick C said...

I was chatting up a girl at a party, and she mentioned she was into comics. I was excited and probably jumped into the conversation too quickly, because she responded (with no small amount of revulsion) "Oh... you read SPANDEX comics?"

I was so angry at the dismissivenes of the super-hero genre, especially by referring to it as "spandex comics" I had to just walk away.

Citizen Scribbler said...

These comments are among the most entertaining that I've ever read on this site, and that's saying a lot. I wish I had an amusing anecdote on the subject to share as well.

All the women I've dated have been totally fine with my comic books, and I've always been supportive of whatever entertainment they enjoy in return, even if it's something I despise and poke fun at sometimes. And if they groan or tease me about my funny books, I just point out that there are far worse hobbies for a man to have than the enjoyment of tales of compassion and heroism. This position is less convincing if I happen to have a Lobo comic or something comparable in my hands at the time. ;)

-Citizen Scribbler

Anonymous said...

Okay, speaking as an Ivy League grajeeatin', professional scientist comic book fan, I'd like to offer an example of exactly the opposite.

When I was a postdoc, I started dating a woman who had never read a comic in her life... and I had gone cold turkey for a few years, not buying comics at all anymore. When she asked what all the white boxes were full of, she looked at a few comics with me and demanded that I start buying comics again so we could read them together in bed...

A few thousand $$$ of comic book purchases later, we went our separate ways (2 postdocs rarely work out... jobs together are really hard to find), but to this day, I'll send her Fables compilations, which she reads voraciously.

I'm now dating her sister...

Ta da!

And before Scip tags me- I'm one of the caterers. And yes, we had plenty of names for the "once you get in, you couldn't fail out if you tried" Ivy League schools.

HC

grebok-sod said...

This happens all the time just with other fans. If I had a nickel for every co-worker or aquaintance who learns that I read comics and immediately launches into how much they love Gambit or Bishop, than I would be a very rich man.

Or, "I collect comics too, I have every issue of Death of Superman, do you think they're worth anything?"

(sigh) Please stand further away from me. No, no, farther still. The other room will be fine.

--M

Mike Loughlin said...

Isn't Geo-Force the be




I can't even type it.

I used to have a friend in college who ended up dating someone I knew from high school. He was a comic book fan, so I was excited that I'd finally have someone with whom I could talk comics.

He still liked Rob Liefeld.

At age 20.

We didn't hang out much.

Sea_of_Green said...

My favorite heroes are Batman and Green Lantern.

Mr. Sea's favorite hero is Spider-Man.

And yet we've managed to stay married for 14 years. Go figure.

-- Sea

TotalToyz said...

My favorite heroes are Batman and Green Lantern.

Mr. Sea's favorite hero is Spider-Man.


Maybe you two could find common ground in Marvel's 1970s hero, Nova. Wasn't the whole premise of that What If Abin Sur Chose Peter Parker As His Successor?

Diamondrock said...

"Wasn't the whole premise of that What If Abin Sur Chose Peter Parker As His Successor?"

Isn't that more or less the premise of about 90% of Marvel's stuff?

SallyP said...

Oh Snap!

Allan said...

I've never met anyone who'd say, "Isn't Geo-Force the best?"

Not even Brad Meltzer?

Anyhoo, this post really made me realize I really don't hang out with anyone who's into comics enough to offer up a potentially alienating opinion. I do occasionally find myself surrounded by Wolverine acolytes at my local comic book emporium, but I--like a Yalie lost in Boston--would never deign to speak to any of them.

I do have my dignity.

TotalToyz said...

Isn't that more or less the premise of about 90% of Marvel's stuff?

Not too sure what you mean by that, DR; but the origin of Marvel's 1970s hero Nova was a dying member of an intergalactic patrol force bequeaths his powers on a worthy Earthman, who turns out to be a nebbishy high-school kid constantly bullied by his classmates. Fairly blatant replace-Hal-Jordan-with-Peter-Parker, if you ask me.

Diamondrock said...

All I really meant is that a huge swathe of Marvel's heroes fit into the "Peter Parker" mould. The "young, bullied everyman who doesn't fit in but gains astonishing powers through birth/fate/cosmic providence."

TotalToyz said...

Can't argue with that; that does decribe a lot of Marvel's characters. But Nova was a blatant attempt to shoehorn that character into Green Lantern's origin. I'm surprised there wasn't a lawsuit there. If Captain Marvel was litigiously close enough to Superman....

steve mitchell said...

". . .that does decribe a lot of Marvel's characters."

Well, maybe Spider-Man, Nova, the second (blecch) Ghost Rider, and the various X-people, but certainly NOT: the Fantastic Four, the Hulk, Ant-Man/Giant-Man, Thor, Iron Man, Doctor Strange, Captain America, Daredevil, Hawkeye, Ms. Marvel, the She-Hulk, Brother Voodoo, Ghost Rider, Black Panther, Silver Surfer, Tigra, Hellcat, Hercules, Black Widow, and I could on, but I think you take my point.

Re the other comments: Geo-Force may not be the best, but he's still better than Lobo; I have no use for Gambit (or for most of the other Marvel mutants); Wolverine has his moments, but too many of them, the way Marvel spreads him around; and Thanos actually is better than Darkseid.

My wife doesn't read comics, but she goes to all the superhero movies with me.

LOTRDan said...

Oh, come on. Lobo is extraordinary! I mean, as long as you don't take him seriously.

steve mitchell said...

Well, given a choice, I'd rather not read about Geo-Force OR Lobo. But between the two, I'd go with Geo-Force. Er, I'd read a story about Geo-Force.

Giffen ruined Reign in Hell for me by plonking down Lobo into the middle of it.

Tony Z™ said...

Yesterday, a friend dragged me to the mall and we ended up at Guess. I, being my usual geeky self, was wearing my nifty Action Comics #23 t-shirt.
A cute guy that worked there came up to me and asked if it was "just a shirt" or if I was into comics. And he was all "Oh, I love comics, I'm totally into to them." And I'm thinking "What's your phone number?" LOL
Later, as we were checking out, I noticed that he was checking out the behind of every girl that walked by. Sigh.
My friend decided to pursue it, and asked the guy if he'd been to a local comic shop. He said he had, but that now he usually just buys the trades, he stopped reading regularly after World War Hulk.
I was like, Okay bye!
He was a Marvel. It just wouldn't have worked out...

steve mitchell said...

Oh, savage karma! I have it on good, ah, authority that Wildstorm fans won't stoop to date DC fans.