Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The Madness of Queen Jean, 3

Where were we? Oh, yes...

So, Ray takes the hysterical, hallucinating Jean Loring back home to his house. Their house. Whatever. It's hard to tell at this point.

Then, because Ray (who's a big geek, after all) is fixed on his new glow in the dark official "One Ring" replica, he dispenses with Jean and her petty manias by relegating her to the Ranting Room.

Really, you may wonder why anyone would stay with Crazy Evil Jean. But she's got a 15-inch waist, Marlo Thomas hair, and when you say, "Go into the bedroom, lock the door, and don't budge until I call you!", she actually does it. I mean, those have got to be worth some serious points.

At this point, Ray does the only logical thing, after locking his raving lunatic of a lover in his bedroom, as if she were King George III.

He shrinks down to explore the rug.

No, really. It's what the Atom does, after all.

The All-New Atom never shrinks down to explore his rug, though. You know why? He has a dog.

But this rug is not only a rug in the DCUniverse, it's a rug in Ray Palmer's house, making it just about the most dangerous place imaginable. Sure enough, just what you'd expect to happen happens almost immediately...

an unidentified beam encases Ray's arm in silver.

Oh, that's silver alright; Silver AGE.

Anyway, then Hawkman gets involved and there are some killer robot bird assassins and Ray and Carter are enslaved in a subatomic world.

More on that later.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

So what is that gold ring anyway? I know the Atom originally used a "reducing lens" made out of white dwarf material, and later made his costume out of white dwarf material so the lens was no longer needed. So where does the gold ring fit into the picture?

Allan said...

...she's got a 15-inch waste, Marlo Thomas hair, and when you say, "Go into the bedroom, lock the door, and don't budge until I call you!", she actually does it. I mean, those have got to be worth some serious points.

Exactly! Even Scipio understands why I remain so inexplicably attracted to this fabulous whackjob!

The All-New Atom never shrinks down to explore his rug, though. You know why? He has a dog.

(Insert sound of raucous belly laugh here)

David said...

I'm guessing that you meant a 15-inch waist, because the alternative is too gross for words.

Scipio said...

Oops. Amended accordingly.

totaltoyz said...

Marlo Thomas hair

"Someone murdered Sue Dibny and torched her remains with a flamethrower! Who could have done such a despicable thing?!"

"What about...that girl?"

Scipio said...

THAT made me laugh.

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