Sunday, April 15, 2007

Green Arrow Villains: The Movie!

Wait, wait ... so Warner Bros. wouldn't let Goyer do the Flash movie, so now he's going to do a movie about that story where Daredevil gets sent to prison?

But use Green Arrow instead? Oh, universe! I love you for how you make me laugh!

As longtime readers will know, I'm not exactly a fan of Green Arrow, the Greatest Batman Parody of All Time. I suppose making him the star of Daredevil Imprisoned: The Movie is the only way he could ever get in a film, let alone star in one. It strips him immediately of his costume, which isn't iconic or fabulous enough to look anything other than silly; likewise the goatee.

But to fill the film with Green Arrow villains as his uneasy companions? Green Arrow villains?! Who? Merlin? The Red Dart? Onomatopoeia? The Polka-Dot Squirrel? The Hideous Closet Pastry?

Nurse! Some stitches for my sides, please! Says Goyer:

"We've populated the prison with all sorts of B and C villains from the DC Universe. For the fans, there will be all sorts of characters the hardcore comic book junkies will know, but they're all going to be there under their human names and no one is wearing a costume, but there will be a lot of characters with powers and things like that."

Really, now. This doesn't exactly sound like the formula for a blockbuster. I'm not even sure I would go see that film; and I'm the Man Who Like Halle Berry's Catwoman.

Unless it involved lots of shower scenes and desperate prison romance with Justin Hartley and a series of men of various ethnicities, subtitle "Sins of the Fleche".

Yeah; I'd probably go see that.

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So you're that guy.

I just read about Goyer's bad idea and well, I vomited a little bit in the back of my throat. I hope that movie never gets made, in that form at least, and hopefully for Green Arrow fans it's just like Superman fighting polar bears. A bad idea that gets pushed aside before the camera rolls.
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I get really sick of those fanboys who are constantly crying "I hope this movie never gets made!"

Having said that, I would really, really like a Green Arrow movie but I hope this one never gets made.

I love Ollie, but honestly I don't think he's quite smart enough to break out of a prison designed to hold meta-humans.
Why do you see GA as a Batman parody? I'd love to read an essay on that...

Buy the Green Arrow Showcase.
Say whatever you want about Green Arrow, but I have to say I would go to anything that involved a naked Justin Hartley.

That link to his photo made me want to take a shower. In a good way.
Once again I'm going to have to be the spoilsport who insists that everyone wait before the film actually exists before they announce how horrible it is.

Every concept has potential. It is simply a matter of execution.

Then again, making this a prison movie does make it difficult to include Black Canary into the plot, which really is the only justifiable reason to get a Green Arrow movie made.

Man, this movie is going to suck!
One of my favorite parts of the DCU is that for some inexplicable reason, supervillains are allowed to wear their costumes in prison. Take that away, and you just have a generic prison movie.

If Goyer really wanted to do a super-villain film, he should have just pitched Suicide Squad.
I like the goatee!
Really, now. This doesn't exactly sound like the formula for a blockbuster. I'm not even sure I would go see that film; and I'm the Man Who Like Halle Berry's Catwoman.

Unless it involved lots of shower scenes and desperate prison romance with Justin Hartley. Yeah; I'd probably go see that.

I'd like to see Onomatopoeia in that film; just imagine the sounds he'd mimic!
Sweet, sweet Hartley...
If GA looked like him, it would be one reason for Dinah to be with him. As it is, the relationship seems contrary to everything else they're doing with her character. I guess it's a 'can't help who you love' thing? Maybe? Sort of like being lactose intolerant and dearly loving cheese. Or something.
Anyway, thanks for that pic, Scip. I adore you.
I don't see where he says it'll be just Green Arrow villains. The impression I got is that it'll be villains from all over the DCU.

I wouldn't be worried, anyway. DC never gets any of their movies made.
The full article says of the villains "many of whom he helped send to prison".

Maybe it'll be some JLA villains, like Dr. Light.

Dr. Light and Green Arrow in a prison movie; snort!
Yeah, Green Arrow had some of the lamest villains around. A prime example is the Rainbow Archer. I mean, come on. A wannabe painter who can't succeed as an artist because he's color blind, decides to become a costumed criminal instead and somewhere gets his hands on highly sophisticated, color-themed weaponry to do it with. How ridiculous.

By the way, how's the custom Heroclix poll coming?
Umm...what's the point of a superhero movie, with no costumes, or ability to run around and be super-heroic?


However, I agree that Justin Hartley is completely adorable, and the only reason that I was watching Smallville. *sigh*
Why do you see GA as a Batman parody? I'd love to read an essay on that...

Speaking as a Green Arrow fan, I have to admit that, before his revamping in 1969, Green Arrow was a Batman parody. Most non-powered heroes from the 1940s were, and most powered heroes from the 1940s were parodies of Superman. Green Arrow did carry it to more extremes than most, though, with the Arrowcave and Arrowcar and Arrowplane etc.
This sounds like someone's fan fiction. Most superhero movies tend to draw on elements fundamental to a character's mythos. This seems entirely unrelated to many of the great GA storylines (i.e. speedy a.k.a. arsenal a.k.a. red junky; getting sanctimonious with Hal Jordan; losing his fortune and moving to Seattle; lots of illetimate baby Green Arrows; stabbing solomon grundy in the eyes), any of which would make a solid feature film.

Scip, while I don't share your disdain for Ollie (in fact, he's one of my favorites!), I do believe that we are of one mind about this: This idea is sooooooo Marvel.
I for one hope it does get made. Then we will never ever have to see or hear of Green Arrow again.
Re: GA villains-- please, leave us not forget the Clock King! Or rather, King Clock, as I like to think of him, from back when Gardner Fox's JLA tale got his name wrong.
Can someone explain to me when and why the entire interent up and decided that green arrow sucks?
Well, Mike, let's see ...

the Internet, as such, dates from about 1974, so that would be the when.

As to the why, should we start with the Arrow Signal, the Arrow Cave, the Arrowplane, the Arrowcar, the meeting of Green Arrows from other countries, Xeen Arrow, or the Plastic Cat Arrow?

No one decides that Green Arrow sucks; they merely recognize it.
I'm with Scotus on this one. This movie is going to suck because we'll never see the villains just hanging out with each other in costumes. That's what makes Arkham so fun!
If memory serves, there actually was a "Devil in Cell Block D" type story with Green Arrow, waaay back in 1982 in World's Finest (#270-something, I think). I'll have to check...
Jesus, that arrow that had a plastic cat and the other that made a cat screeching sound were the mose sublimely Silver Age things I have ever seen. And GA and Speedy carried those things around just in case. Why? For what purpose, to scare kids on Friday the 13th?
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Do the inauspicious beginnings of Green Arrow as a complete Batman knockoff negate decades of entertaining (if a bit over the top) comics featuring a character that discovered a wholly independent identity? If anything, that silliness has added value to later GA stories and allowed writers to create with Ollie a sort of anti-Batman (bad sidekicks, bad at keeping his identity secret, bad at being heroic). I still insist he's an asset to the DCU, even when written by Winnick.

Granted, I'm the guy who buys up all the copies of Spider Man Loves Mary Jane at Big Monkey so maybe I'm just warped...
As a big Green Arrow fan...
...just waiting for the laughter to die down...

...I am really puzzled by this Green Arrow movie. Well, first of all there's the Daredevil-ripoff problem, but they really think anyone would go see this? And, by that, I mean the masses. Barely enough people went to see Superman Returns, for chrissakes, and that was pretty straightforward. This movie sounds like a lost episode of Justice League Unlimited. (It would be an awesome episode).

That said, if the movie gets made, I really hope the Clock King is in it.

I should clarify, too. Just because I think this would be an unpopular movie, that doesn't mean I don't think they should make it. I think there should be a non-stop stream of comic-based movies being cranked out. If they want to make crazy obscure movies based on secondary characters, go nuts! I'll be at the front of the line for the Booster Gold/Will Magnus team-up film.
Is it wrong when I read the word "goatee" I always consider who the "goater" might be?
Yep...World's Finest #274-278: "The Archer or the Man", "Archer in a Cage", "Bedlam in the Big House", "Arrow Sought for Questioning" and "The Archer and the Assassin". I'd give you a brief rundown, but then my eye caught the storyarc's writer: Mike W. Barr. I figured it was better to hold my peace. :-P
Does a goat call his own beard a "manatee"?
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