Mystery Analysts: Wonder Woman

I say "Wonder Woman" rather than name a city, because who really knows where Wonder Woman lives? It's one of my pet peeves about her.  

Real-world Boston seemed random and inappropriate; who moves to cold cramped Boston from Paradise Island? John Byrne's "Gateway City" was an utter cipher; I'd be shocked if any of you could tell me a single thing about it (without looking it up), especially since virtually no writer has cared to use it again (until Ultimate Wonder Woman).  

Part of Wonder Woman's geographic problem is that she's not FROM any U.S. city (as are Batman, Flash, Green Lantern, Green Arrow, and many others). She needs a REASON to locate in a particular city of her own and The National Capital of the country she's living in seems like a pretty logical place.  Just put her in Washington, where the character started. Besides, with its low skyline and classical architecture it's probably the city that seem most familiar to a resident of Themyscira. It's weird and artificial enough that it might as well be a fictionopolis, any way.  Or fictionalize Washington as "Federal City", an idea I think is long overdue.

But let's move on to our task of giving her some Mystery Analysts, which she clearly needs as a resource. Zeus knows I love Little Miss Marchy Boots, but a detective she ain't. She couldn't even figure out who killed her OWN PUBLICIST.

The case remains one of DC's best and most famous mysteries, which Wonder Woman totally did not solve.

But who on earth would be among Wonder Woman's Mystery Analysts?  It would be great if they could be, say, all women and one token man, as an inverse of the Mystery Analysts of Gotham. Unfortunately, Wonder Woman's mythos doesn't much support that.  She's got lots of women in her historical cast, but most of her "professional help" is men.

Ed Indelicato

Wonder Woman's partner in trying to solve Mayer's murder was Boston detective Ed Indelicato, a surprisingly memorable character.

It helped that Ed was deeply weird and very human.

Simply put, Indelicato, who later retired and became an author (of crime fiction, I presume) make him a no-brain among WW's Mystery Analysts. He's the "Kaye Daye" (weird memorable crime fiction author).

Those glasses are like Kaye Daye's hats.

Unlike many members of the Mystery Analysts (the original or my own versions), he's a colorful character, quickly conveyed and easily identifiable,  which is useful for characters who have to share their screen time with others.

Chic Novelle

Well, this is a reach!  Chic Novelle is a Golden Age Wonder Woman character, a follower of sexist investigative journalist Selldom Wright (why HE is not my choice should be doubly obvious).  She shifts from being one of his informants to investigating on her own behalf and helps Wonder Woman capture the "Blue Seal Gang" (one of those tawdry pin-striped suit gangs so many Golden Agers wasted their time on).

Chic was handy with guns, too. I'd like to imagine an updated version of her would still accoutre herself in a 1940s manner, just because she's a gal with style.

I Ching

Oh, yes; I went there.

I Ching is, of course, the absurdly stereotypical Wise Old Blind Chinese Sensei who mentored (i.e., mansplained) Diana Prince through her de-powered, karate-chopping, gunning-toting, boutique-owning era in the 1970s. But, as long-time readers of this blog will remember, the BEST thing about Ching is how clearly he and Diana DETEST each other. 

"I cannot WAIT to see what pathetic losers they match you up with, Diana!"
"I'll take some pictures for you, Ching. Oh, wait, that's right..."

Naturally, an updated version would need a more sensibly first name than "I". Or, since Ching is canonically dead (Diana's inability to save him was a perfect capstone to their passive-aggressive relationship), perhaps a DAUGHTER could be substituted.  I always thought it odd that Diana's mentor during this (or any) period would be a man, rather than a woman.

It would avoid... a lot of the unpleasantness inherent in "I Ching" and his relationship with Diana.  An "Isadora Ching" who perhaps knows martial arts like her father (grandfather?) and is a Chinese-American private detective would bring some snap to Diana's Mystery Analysts while being a fine nod to her lore.

Tom (Nemesis) Tresser 

Another one of DC's turtle-necked master of disguise espionage types. He has a history with Wonder Woman as her male sidekick at one point.  

And her side-piece.

They had this annoying and sad situation where they were sleeping together and he thought it was more than that, but it really wasn't.  He was a substitute in more ways than one for Steve Trevor and the story basically admitted that.

I would have probably preferred hard-boiled P.I. Tim Trench for this spot in WW's Mystery Analysts, because his relationship with Diana during her de-powered era actually had some crunch to it. But Trench was murdered pretty famously in a JLA locked room mystery and it's probably best to let (eternally) sleeping dogs lie.

And I DO love Tom's hair.  It's got that Gumby/Capt. Pike thing going on.

Besides, having a former beau among one's Mystery Analysts is an interesting wrinkle and might give Tresser a way to stand out as a character (something he never did on his own).

Etta Candy

Ordinarily, I wouldn't pick someone from a hero's "inner circle" for a Mystery Analyst slot. One of the purposes of Mystery Analysts concept is to help expand a hero's supporting cast, not merely consolidate it.  But DC is often at a loss as to what to DO with Etta Candy in the modern era, where Fat Funny Friends are not the norm.  

And, sadly, there aren't as many Japanese princesses who need spanked in comics as there used to be. Not even in Wonder Woman comics.

Etta's modern incarnation is in Military Intelligence (or some such), so giving her deductive talents would be pretty consistent.  Even without the Mystery Analysts, giving Wonder Woman a sidekick who is actually better at figuring out what's going on would not only be refreshing, but free up Wonder Woman to lasso people and toss things about as she does.

And to march. 
Wonder Woman needs plenty of time to march, march, march.

Trevor Barnes

How Dr. Domino would enjoy yanking that tie!

A currently unused character from Wonder Woman's past supporting casts, he is associated with diplomatic matters, which would make him a good choice as an "international troubleshooter" who relies on his worldliness to solve mysteries that might stump others.

He's was absolutely terrible and being the trusting superhero love interest who gets into scapes/is kidnapped, so an independent Mystery Analyst seems like a better role for him.

Plus, he's not remembered well, so rejiggering who and what he is a tad to fit with the Mystery Analysts probably wouldn't upset many people.