Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Got milk, Ty Templeton?

Artist Ty Templeton, I am calling you out.




No butler in the world would serve a drink so that his bare hands have touched every possible place a diner could drink from.

No WAITER would do that.

Alfred certainly wouldn't. 

Sunday, June 21, 2020

Tom Kalmaku Pops


Eskimo Pies are being rebranded. I wish it would have happened much sooner. At least, sooner than THIS:

How about I call you ****head, then?  And then you just shut your non-eskimo-pie-hole?

As you can tell by the (non-Gil Kane) art, this is actually a later depiction of their original meeting. We don't actually see them meet in Silver Age Green Lantern issues; "Pieface" is simply introduced as a pre-existing character in Hal's life.

And eager to get out of it, 'natch.

Even as a child I knew this made Hal look like an idiot and was at least vaguely insulting to Poor Tom Kalmaku.  Not even "Eskimo is not a respectful word" insulting; just plain old "my name is Tom, why did you give me stupid nickname just because you are my boss and can get away with it?"

"But enough about me, Hal. How's that truck-driving gig going, huh? What does your banker call you, other than 'delinquent'...?"

Imagine Bruce Wayne calling Alfred "crumpet-face" and I think you'll get the point.

Now, I know that Hal is an Air Force pilot type, and they give one another (often achingly) stupid codenames based on the flimsiest of associations: "Oh, you're from Tennessee? We'll call you... Tuxedo!"  

"Get... me... out of here!"

This goofy practice (which I somehow blame Jack Kirby for) is almost a point of perverse pride.

But Hal, in the Silver Age, isn't in the Air Force. And, more important, neither is Tom.  So, it's just Hal being a ****. Geoff Johns, naturally, fixed all this because "Fixing All This" is what Geoff Johns does (especially for Hal Jordan, who has a lot of This to be Fixed).  He had Hal call Tom "Pieface" only because he heard other pilots call him that and when he finds out Tom hates it, he makes the other pilots stop.

Goeff Johns has a soft spot for Hal; his head.

It's a good fix. Doesn't actually make me forget the YEARS of Hal calling Tom "Pieface".  Or the writers making Tom say "Jumping fishhooks!" five times in every story.  Or the fact that "Pieface" has nothing to do with 'Eskimo pies' but is a derogatory term for someone a round face and "pie-slit" eyes, as one might call an Inuit person.  

But it's still a good fix.

Red Devils of Gayland: Fearsome Foursome

Telling you the story of the Red Devils of Gayland was merely the background to making clear the level of desperation in seeking Green Arrow foes to make custom Heroclix figures of that would drive me to create:

The Red Devils of Gayland



They are based on the Ninja dial from the Batman: The Animated Series Heroclix set (a figure I probably wouldn't use much, if at all; not a ninja fan). It's an easy fit with sneaky acrobats.

A similarly easy fit was the sculpt: Daredevil, of course:

Plenty of those to go around.

This foursome of Red Devils probably aren't enough to go up against a Green Arrow team by themselves, but they are a perfect 100 point plus-up to a team built around a more serious threat. Like... um.... the Octopus?  Sure; the Octopus.