Sunday, May 21, 2017

Green Arrow Loves His Cartoon Bomb

When last we left Green Arrow, Ollie was dashing to his local dealer because he was out of marijuana.


No wonder the writers moved him to Seattle.

Okay, actually, he was there trying to stop the next History Club member from being murdered by fire (in emulation of the death of Jean D'Arc).  Since there's not a moment to lose, Ollie does the logical thing (if you're Green Arrow):

CATAPULTS BLINDLY IN A FLAMING HOUSE-FIRE.

Don't worry, Ollie; I'm sure those little red gloves will protect you.

Fun fact: the unofficial multiverse name for this universe is 'The Only One Where Green Arrow Survives".

Since this is Ollie's first adventure he hasn't yet invented awesome devices like the fire extinguisher arrow, the freeze arrow, or the personal lubricant arrow.  So rather than try to put out the fire he does an extraction on its intended victim.... Green Arrow-style!


Oh, god, this is going to be something stupid with ARROWs, isn't it...?!



Yup; it's something stupid with arrows.

Wanna bet that Green Arrow's 'signal' to Speedy was screaming "NYAAAOHMYGODI'MONFIIIIIIIIIRE!"?

Ollie practiced that joke for WEEKS.
Speedy is a true enabler.  Eventually, I'm sure he get tired of this sort of thing and invents the ladder-arrow. In fact, even in this first Green Arrow story it's becoming clear that Ollie is basically Inspector Gadget and Roy is Penny, running around trying to keep Green Arrow from killing himself and secretly solving the case without Ollie noticing.

The list of 1001 Things Green Arrow Can't Afford includes "butlers" AND "Bible camp".
And 'four-wheel drive'.

Note that at some point between panels, the "Arrowcar" became "the Arrowplane".  Probably the point at which Ollie became unable to keep the front wheels on the ground.

Truly thoughtful villains match their victims, crime scenes, and cartoon bombs to the hero's color scheme.  Remember that on St. Villainstime Day!

Boy, the Hooded Claw sure is an efficient villain!  Our heroic bowmen arrive JUST as the cartoon bomb is about to explode, bringing the entire building down on Samson (and them).

But this is, after all, The Only Universe Where Green Arrow Survives, so they manage to put out the bomb with a well-placed Acme water cooler. I mean, arrow.

Ollie is the world's luckiest superhero. At least, until Child Services catches him.

Samson saved, GA takes the bomb back to his Manhattan apartment, where by holding it and using his arrow-senses he hopes to divine the identity of the killer: "Eenie-meenie, chili beanie... the spirits are about to speak!"


High on the list of 1001 Things You Don't Expect Green Arrow To Say:
"But let's go visit Socrates."

This is, you'll note, 'the most puzzling case' Green Arrow has ever encountered. That's certainly true from our perspective, since it's his first case.  Of course, as previously noted Green Arrow is also puzzled by shoes with laces.

So, obeying the Magic Eight-Bomb, the Brave Bowmen arrive just as the Hooded Claw is trying to make Socrates drink poison (because god forbid you should kill anyone non-thematically).  

But then again, isn't "I'm getting out of here!" the general reaction to Green Arrow?

Then, in a panel guest-drawn by M.C. Escher, Green Arrow shoots the Hooded Claw in the leg (FINALLY!).

"Just as I thought....arrows are nearly useless in fighting crime!"

Now we learn why the Hooded Claw wears a big hat and pointless cape: so that Ollie can more easily do his "pin you to the wall with arrows like a dead butterfly" schtick. Yet another reason Killer Moth needs to be moved to Green Arrow's rogues gallery.

Rhopalocerrific!

Turns out the Hooded Claw was one of the History Club members, who was killing off all the others (and faked an attack on himself) to cover up his embezzlement of what could not possibly have amounted to more than $10,000 from the Club's treasury.  

No WONDER Scooby-Doo teamed up with Green Arrow.

Once that's revealed, I'm sure the Hooded Claw goes to jail, the case is closed, and the story is over...

OR IS IT?!?!?!?


Next: It isn't.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

You know what? As much as they used their arrows for stupid things, I'm glad they used their arrows so much, dammit. It's kind of what they're supposed to be doing. Hell, even the catapult in the ArrowTugBoat is thematically appropriate, since it's turning Green Arrow into a green arrow almost literally.

Remember, the past few years have given us Green Arrow comics (Nocenti's and Percy's) where Ollie didn't use his bow AT ALL, not even a perfunctory trick shot, because the idiot writers wanted to talk about Chinese culture or how minorities are werewolves or whatever. You know why Golden Age Green Arrow doesn't know which feet his shoes go on? Because the only thing he's good at is archery, as it should be.

Also, bonus points for Speedy daydreaming about Amos Socrates and how tall he is.

Scipio said...

"the past few years have given us Green Arrow comics (Nocenti's and Percy's) where Ollie didn't use his bow AT ALL"

The less said about their runs the best; the less READ of their runs the better. Although I am enjoying watching Geoff Johns make Percy destroy Seattle and replace it with Star City.

Actually, I think the CW show does a great job of balancing GA using Arrows and Ollie just beating people up, with quiet sincerity.

Joshua Roots said...

Magic-Eight Bomb is the name of our next quartet.

Anonymous said...

"Actually, I think the CW show does a great job of balancing GA using Arrows and Ollie just beating people up, with quiet sincerity."

"My" Green Arrow is a brawler; I don't object to him getting into fist fights. I don't even have a fundamental objection to Green Arrow knowing how to dress himself. But there needs to be a "at least one trick shot per issue" edict, with an allowance for stories where the point is that Ollie has been deprived of his bow and has to rely on his other talents (ha!).

I don't follow "Arrow" but I have seen the clip where he made a boxing glove arrow and it made me giggle and clap like a toddler. The boxing glove arrow has gone so far into "lame" territory that's come out on the other side as cool.

Bryan L said...

Anonymous beat me to it. As I was reading this, I also realized that Green Arrow was turning himself into a literal arrow. It certainly helps to understand why he's using something as stupid as that car-seat catapult. They should have built a giant catapult on top of their apartment, and launched themselves all over the city, like Ant-man used to do. The cost would certainly be offset by the gas they'd save from driving the massive Arrowcar around. And no searching for parking spaces! Ollie would need to invent the parachute arrow very quickly, though.

cybrid said...

As many know, the immediate precursors to comic book super-heroes were pulp magazine super-heroes. If I'm not mistaken and frankly what are the odds of that, I think oddball stories about weird-*ss men's clubs were a staple of that genre. So it's unsurprising that early comic book writers borrowed from there.

(to Scipio specifically) If you wanted to browse through, uh, "enough" Green Arrow golden age and silver age stories, you could probably build as strong an image of Star City's character as you have of Apex City's character (I wonder what Apex City was like in the golden age but of course I'll never know). Obviously, the chance of you wanting to do that ranges from slim to fat, it just occurred to me, is all. ;-)

I know you hate requests for future articles so I won't make any.

SallyP said...

I have to admit that the Hooded Claw does have a certain amount of style. Not everyone can carry off that hat.