But some points bear repeating (as the apparent memorability of that post has proven). And the point that Iris West is meaner than most DC supervillains is one of them.
And what better way to make this point memorable than by setting it to song, as we did, say, with the Central City Song? I know it's bit early for a Christmas song, but I want you to have time to teach this to children before the holiday season begins..
Open this karaoke link in another window and sing along, won't you?
You're a mean one, Iris West;
you really are a shrew
You're as cuddly as the Axis,
you're as welcome as the flu.
You're a monster, Iris West;
your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of caffeine,
you have coffee in your soul.
Iris We-est! I wouldn't touch you with a stolen character from Jack Cole.
You're a vile one, Iris West.
You have daggers in your eyes.
You have all the tender sweetness of Gorilla Grodd in disguise.
Iris We-est! Give the choice between the two of you, I'd take...
Gorilla Grodd in disguise!
You're a plot-bore, Iris West.
You're the queen of awful plots.
Your timeline's a McGuffin tied in Silver Age-y knots.
During this time, the couple discovered that Iris was born in the 30th Century (c 2945 AD), and had been sent back to the present shortly before "Earth-East" attacked "Earth-West," when Central City was a self-contained city. After years as a prominent presence in the Flash's life and Central City, she was killed by Professor Zoom during a costume party. Zoom vibrates his hand into her head, solidifying it just enough to kill her. Enraged by his wife's death, Barry, as the Flash, killed Zoom by breaking his neck.
Iris did not stay dead for long. As Iris's biological parents, the Russells (with the help of a future Flash, John Fox), sent the then-infant Iris to the past, where she was adopted by Ira West, her "death" caused a paradox that was resolved after the Russells placed her consciousness into a new body. Barry was reunited with Iris in her time, and were able to spend a month together. However, the couple knew if Barry returned to the past, he would die in the catalytic Crisis on Infinite Earths. During their time together, they conceived the Tornado Twins, Don and Dawn. Don married the descendant of Professor Zoom, Meloni Thawne, hoping to end the feud between the two families. They had a son, Bart, whose powers manifested at an early age and caused him to age at an accelerated rate. Don and Dawn died saving 30th Century Earth from an invasion by the Dominators. Iris took Bart to the past to enlist the aid of her nephew (by then, Wally had taken the mantle of the Flash) in saving her grandson. After Bart's accelerated aging slowed down, he went by the name of Impulse. Not much is known about her after that, but Iris volunteered to take care of the Weather Wizard's orphaned son. Wally West later named his daughter Iris in honor of his aunt.
Iris We-est! You're a multiverse time-travel old-school sandwich
with gender-bent sauce!
You irritate me, Iris West.
With your henpecked super-spouse.
You're a red-haired vicious fishwife who treats Barry like a louse.
Iris We-est! Your role is an appalling parody overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of sexist imaginings, with your hair in
tangled up knots.
You're a foul one, Iris West.
You're a torrid, horrid, skunk.
You're heart is made of solid rock,
your role is full of bunk.
Iris We-est! The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote: