Monday, December 13, 2010

Pep #38: The Shield Knuckles Down

Not even Archie's blatant attempt to overwrite this Pep cover with his self-aggrandizing advertisements can dim the glory of this eye-popping scene. Archie; post no bills!

The Hangman -- who doesn't look anything like Batman -- is where he belongs: in the background, sequestered from the rest of the scene by the boundary created by the cannon. At first I thought the Hangman was going to take that Nazi and do a Bane-style backbreaking maneuver. But then I realized he's in the middle of enacting a much more horrible punishment: he's forcing the Nazi to stare up at the ineffable horror of the name of ARCHIE, the Fuhrer of Riverdale. You think that Nazi's wearing jodhpurs? Think again; just like his soul, his body has evacuated itself when faced with the existential terror of the Andrews Abyss. Shame on you, Hangman (who is not designed to make you think of Batman at all)-- that's a fate too cruel to impose even on a Nazi.

Dusty's having a high old time, having switched out his starched cape for a parachute, as he plummets down to --
hm, well, judging by the file of tanks on that long pink winding road, he's the Grand Marshall at the parade celebrating the repeal of "Don't Ask Don't Tell".

And the Shield? The Shield is no-nonsense this month! He has ZERO tolerance for Nazis who dare to steal American culture by doing the Lady Gaga Bad Romance Dance at their National Socialist Rallies. "You'll not be filming THIS choreography, Leni Riefensthal!" he shouts.

Usually I make fun of the Shield's apparent fondness for golden showers as a form of punishment, as this month's yellow cover reminds us. But, gosh, he's got other tricks up his sleeve-- specifically, his FIST! Watch him shove his fist in that aperture, causing the cannon to explode back on to its owner...! "And THIS one's for the Future Farmers of America!" he cracks.

Wow, is it warm on this cover, or is it just me...?


SallyP said...

Well! The Shield does seem to be having himself just a fine old time. Although I do miss Dusty's starched cape.

Bryan L said...

I'm sure Dusty will quickly fabricate a cape from his parachute once he's on the ground.

Diamondrock said...

It seems to me that the Hangman has borrowed Dusty's cape for this cover.