Monday, June 02, 2008

Weather for J'onn's Funeral Services

"Hello, everyone. I'm meteorologist Misty Hazen, joining you, my colleagues here at station WFLA, and all citizens of Apex, as we mourn the loss of our treasured hero, J'onn J'onzz, the 'Martian Manhunter'.

"Services will be held for Mr. J'onzz all this week throughout Apex, so that everyone can find time to attend. Let's take a look at the forecast for the week so you can plan accordingly...

"Today the weather will be normal and seasonal, with large earthward meteors expected all over town.


"Tuesday, falling planes are anticipated in the morning,


but in the afternoon, those should taper off...

..and completely disappear by the late afternoon.


"Wednesday should be lovely in the city, with falling meteors,


but prepare for scattered crazy bullets in the countryside.


"Thursday, look for both sudden giant and freak waves in the area of Rainbow Beach.



"Friday could see some serious falling safes...


particularly in Toontown.

"Saturday should be clear, with the possibility of an automotive tornado in the Gawking District.


"Sunday, the weather should return to normal with flaming meteors exploding over mid-town."

"Wishing you all safe mourning,this is Misty Hazen, saying, 'Look to the skies! Keep watching the skies!'..."

11 comments:

K26dp said...

Well, if Arion is correct, without the Martian Manhunter to save them, humanity will find a way to save themselves from the meteors.

...

So long, Apex City!

Frank Lee Delano said...

1) Is that Bob Hope looking on as the automotive tornado wrecks havok? More evidence of a Florida locale....

2) The "File Photo" was a nice touch.

3) From CBR: "DiDio asked for fans' weirdest favorite character. The winner (of sorts) offered up Detroit-era JLA hero Vibe, and his brother Reverb. "Yeah, Reverb--let's compound a bad idea," DiDio laughed."

Hoosier X said...

Apex City is JUST LIKE PENSACOLA!

Identical, I say.

suedenim said...

Scipio, DC has *got* to hire you to write a J'onn J'onnzz, Hero of Apex City miniseries to celebrate his inevitable resurrection and revitalization!

Anonymous said...

Is the Martian Manhunter still dead, or has that been retconned yet?

Cabel said...

the absorbascon has been kicking an above average amount of ass lately. Thanks

SallyP said...

Say what you will about Apex city, what with its constant Meteor showers, falling airplanes and automotive tornadoes, but gosh darn it, you have to admit it is an exciting place to live.

They're going to MISS J'onn J'onnz. As will we all.

*sniff*

Scipio said...

I would write Apex City in a heartbeat.

Tell your local DC editor.

Otter said...

Was it just me or was the Manhunter's death particularly abrupt and diffcult to follow? I knew it was coming and I had difficulty understanding what was happening. Maybe it's partially due to my aversion to that post-infinite-crisis-look but... still... Scipio, how about a book calling for visits to various established but forgotten corners of the DCU? That would be a fun but rewarding niche book.

Blockade Boy said...

Blog post... too hilarious...! Can't... breathe! Must... find inhaler before--! *GACK*

*expire*

totaltoyz said...

OK, which major heroes in the DC Universe actually got a worse death than J'Onn J'Onzz?

I can think of two: the original Atom and Dr. Mid-Nite. Atom was swatted like a fly; he didn't even need to be restrained as J'Onn was. And Dr. Mid-Nite didn't even die on-panel!