Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I am Curious (Black) Week, 3: Haikuesday!

Having just survived a gunfire attack that felled heroic but imprudent street activist Dave Stevens, who lies in critical condition in a nearby hospital room, and having lost her hat, Lois, who should be writing all this down for her next Pultizer ("and the prize for Telling It Like It Is goes to ... Miss Lois Lane!"), chooses instead to harangue Superman about not marrying her.

This is why she is Lois Lane, and you are not.

Anyway, now that she's a streetwise black woman instead of a thoughtless pampered white woman, she realizes, "Hey, Superman's full of hooey! Why do I keep falling for his tergiversatory evasions?" Lois likes to use words like tergiversatory; it's part of how you get Pulitzers.

Why, Lois, you ask? Why do you fall for this line of malarky?

You know I couldn't
risk placing you in deadly
danger from my foes.

The answer: subliminal super-haiku. "No, Lois; these aren't the droids you're looking for..." Dang, Superman is a sneaky three-eyed kryptonian babootch!

Lois is too flustered to reply in haiku; can you help her with one of your own?



Did I just read the word "tergiversatory " in a blog post?
Don't give me that bull
I can take care of myself
You're a superjerk
"Did I just read the word "tergiversatory " in a blog post?"

Yes. See? Can't turn your back for a second...
Because I'm so safe
Just being your girlfriend, right?
You think I'm stupid?
"I am curious:
Do you have Power Man's phone
Number handy, Supes?"
Black Lightning was right,
You like my humps, not my heart
Talk to the hand, scrub!
"You won't marry me?
Cuz I'm BLACK!?!?" yells new-Lois.
Supes' face matches cape.
Lois likes her men
The way she likes her coffee.
(In a foamcore cup.)

Wanna know something?
You're starting to get on my
nerves, Superhonky!
In Lex Luthor's mind,
Killing Kal's girlfriend won't do,
But add one gold ring...
jon -- your pic isn't Torgo, is it?
Who's the white honky
dude, that kills his girlfriend's new
groove? Clark! You're damn right.

Who is the man, who
won't take his woman's offered
hand? Clark! Ya dig it?

They say Clark is one
bad mother-shut your mouth! I'm
talking about Clark.

He's a jackass of
a man, and he don't take no
guff from his woman-

Clark Kent!

(Sorry, I couldn't resist).
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Say it loud, I'm black
And I'm proud. Supes ain't ready
For this jelly, yo.
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