The Mixed-Up Martian Powers!

In our recent visit to the 1940s Star City, we had reason to mention Apex Studios, which is, naturally enough, in Apex City, where all businesses are named after the town, the Floridian home of 

J'onn visited Apex Studios at least once in Detective 268's memorable tale of

In which, once again, J'onn's powers cause more problems than they solve.

Martian-halitosis is darned inconvenient when one of your favorite powers is Marshalation.

Car 45, where are you? "Just around the corner"; of course.  
Apex City contains many wonders, yet is really dense.
Much like J'onn himself.

What IS it in the Apex City gene pool that DOES that to their chins?

It's a riddle with no answer.

J'onn makes a sound tactical decision that also allows lets him go solo, so he can use his panoply of Martian powers unobserved, because Ares forbid that Detective Jones should just take out his service revolver and shoot some thief in the leg.

And to get out of the car as soon as possible. Even J'onn's afraid of Slade's driving.

He changes into his Martian form, because I think at this point in his evolution, he couldn't do any Martian tricks while in human form.

I mean, any tricks EXCEPT shift back to his Martian form.

Then, the most natural thing in the world happens.

A flaming meteor from space lands at J'onn's feet.

J'onn is focused on the anomalous aspect of the meteor's flames not harming him, rather than the bizarre coincidence of a flaming meteor from space landing right next to him because flaming meteors from space fall on Apex City daily.

But how on earth can that be?

I see; thank you, Explanatory Floating Head of Wonder Woman.

Weird crap happens to J'onn constantly; if he actually stopped to deal with it, he'd never get anything done, so he presses on.

I think the meteor is a remnant of the planet Rastafaria. Just like "The Brother from Another Planet". 

NOW it gets more interesting than just random meteor strikes!

The metaphor of Detective Jones as a closeted Martian is always tantalizingly JUST out of reach for me.

Tee hee, J'onn's become the Bizarro Manhunter. This'll be good.

Yes. I can imagine that easily. Something ALWAYS goes wrong,
badly wrong for J'onn.  
He's the Charlie Brown of alien super-heroes.

I KNEW the internet would not fail to provide me with the image I needed.

Sure enough, it goes even more wrong for J'onn as some workers notice him, report him to the House Committee of UnTerrestrial Activities, and he's burned at the stake like a witch.

 "I don't care what they do in the privacy of their own homes and alien bars, but do they have to GLOW in PUBLIC?"

It's little scenes like this that really hammer home the fact that the DCU, well, wasn't much of a "U" at all back in the day.  Each hero operated not merely in a vacuum, but in their own little world.  Which is terrible for J'onn, since he can't use his Marshalation in a vacuum.  It's also terrible because it means he can't simply say: "Hi, I'm an alien superhero, just like Superman, except green. One with a ridiculous allergy,  but that's not important right now."

Fortunately for J'onn, he is in the ONE PLACE where he can get away with this glowing alien bit.

At APEX MOVIE STUDIOS.

Imagine; J'onn looks exactly like a 1950s B-movie writer's idea of what an alien looks like! So, undaunted, 

Don't worry; he gets daunted pretty soon.

J'onn decides to phase through a nearby wall 

Payroll. It's always payroll.

and instead just smashes his face into it

Oops. Or, being an super-strong and indestructible alien lummox, crashes THROUGH it like he's Kool-Aid Man.

"YOU BLOCKHEAD!" shouts the director.  Actually, he blames it on the WALL, because everything on movie sets is fake and flimsy.

"AND DON'T CALL ME 'CHIEF'!"

Two power fails in a row is a pattern, so JJ decides to test his treasured lung power (Marshalation).

You probably don't floss enough, J'onn.

Just how DOES Apex Studio store its junked ships VERTICALLY?  Like J'onn, Apex City is special.

Being a detective, J'onn quickly deduces (with a little help from some starlets), that the meteor and/or its fire is the cause of his Mixed-Up Powers.

It's a Red Kryptonite story, in other words.

This presents J'onn with his WORST-CASE SCENARIO:

That is, an ORDINARY EARTH DETECTIVE who can casually crash through cement walls like he's Kool-Aid Man.

Oh, dear; the struggle is real.  Fortunately for J'onn, British comedic character actor Maurice Dallimore is on hand to steer him in the right direction.

"It is the considered opinion of Her Majesty's government that you must pursue the thief at all costs."

Sigh. J'onn.  Just turn BACK into your Earth guise as Detective Jones, take out your service revolver and SHOOT THE THIEF IN THE LEG.  Detective Jones could handle almost every situation you ever find yourself in, JJ, because your real problem is your ridiculous panoply of powers, mixed up or not.

Oh, no. A fire has broken out. In Apex City, American's Most Flammable Vacation Spot. Imagine.

Upon beginning his rescue, he immediately abandons the idea of doing it as An Ordinary Earth Detective and uses his Martian vision.

What will happen? Take a wild guess.

Oxygen-eating Vision. 
Sure, J'onn. Whatever.

Naturally, J'onn's mixed-up powers have given him exactly the ability he needs to rescue the men. At this point, just rename him Nemesis Kid or let him swallow the H Dial, why don't you.

With truly Charlie Brown levels of insecurity, J'onn notes that his colleague Slade now has the situation in hand, and concludes that he himself will be on no more use to the police and will have to quit.

"All I have is the powers of an ordinary Earth detective and the ability to walk casually through cement walls; I'm useless a police officer!"  Get some therapy, J'onn.

I'd love to just SLAP J'onn when he gets like this, but I'd only break my hand.  Besides, now that the universe has (again) brought JJ to the point of tears because he's a blockhead, it relents and gives him his powers back.

"As the Martian Manhunter reaches the wall..."
Were ya just gonna... crash through that wall, JJ, like the Kool-Aid Man again?  
Is that what you were going for?  smh

Sometimes the internet will NOT provide you just the image you need.

The Red K effect of the meteor ended once its flames died out.  Because Martian Manhunter stories always treat fire as if it's some sort of tangible, radioactive element, rather than just the result of a chemical combustion process.

Harrumph. Okay, maybe the mix-up left him unable to shapeshift back into Detective Jones. But his over-reliance on his 47 powers is still the root of his problems. 

Now, Batman would have that meteor encased in lucite, labelled, and displayed in the Hall of Trophies overnight and Superman would assign a team of robots at the Fortress of Solitude analyzing it to determine what caused the effect and whether it could be of any danger to him in the future.  The Martian Manhunter...?

To him, it was a Tuesday.