Even though helicoptering model buildings safely to the ground is thirsty work, there's no rest for the Martian, as Detective John Johns returns to his busy job of wandering the streets aimlessly amidst the flocks of Apexians, hoping to randomly run into his target, Willy Ward.
Which, of course, is exactly what happens.
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| I find Willy Ward tedious, but I am VERY eager to know just WHAT is going on with that unfortunately mis-inked blonde and her purple-suited beau. She looks about as interested in him as I am in Willy Ward, but seems entranced by John Jones's giant-jawed juiciness. I feel that there is a rich tapestry of intertwining stories going on in the background in Apex City, if only they would ignore the Martian Manhunter. |
Why Willy doesn't just, you know, stay inside I do not know. I can only assume he must be a native Apexian, and therefore the innate drive to FLOCK with others of his kind is some sort of biological imperative.
Anyway, so, John, whom Willy probably doesn't even recognize, just sidles up to Ward and slaps the cuffs on him and calls it a day.
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| PSYCH! |
No, clearly that isn't what John does because that's not nearly convoluted enough. He has to change back into his "Martian guise", because I guess you need 47 Martian powers to capture an escaped convict. Thank Phobos J'onn's not human because if he were, he'd be TERRIBLE at his job.
But there is a waiting challenge for even his Martian guise:
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| FLOATING PINK TELEVISIONS MADE OF BUBBLE-GUM |
Gee, I wonder who's behind those.
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| One of the things I like about the original Martian Manhunter is that, unlike other heroes of the era, he actively and overtly DISLIKES some people. He is unburdened with human nicities. |
"You again!" shouts J'onn, not remembering that Horner has not seen him in his Martian guise before, only in his human one. Fortunately, Hiram is no better a detective than J'onn and doesn't make the deduction that this is same cop who took his hand-held molecular explosion ray-gun from him.
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| The receptors are in the air, over Apex City. OF COURSE they burst into flame. I have to admire the infinitely renewable childlike wonder of the citizens of Apex, who are ALWAYS shocked when these things happen, even though these things happen EVERY DAY. |
Naturally, these flying flaming inflatable pillows incapacitate J'onn, who, if he had simply remained in his Earth guise could have taken out his service revolver and SHOT WILLY IN THE LEG.
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| Doesn't take a lot of strength to pull a trigger. Just sayin'. |
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| Look, I'm no fan of Hiram, either, J'onn, but don't blame HIM for YOUR obsession with doing everything in the Most Martian Way Possible. If you had your gun, there wouldn't be any problem. |
BUT WAIT. J'onn DOES have a gun; CHEKOV'S GUN, in fact.
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| THE MOLECULAR EXPLOSION RAY-GUN! |
Wow, that... makes sense. I'm not sure I've ever seen a Martian Manhunter story DO that before. I'm impressed. Or at least VERY surprised.
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| Pretty sure just aiming the MOLECULAR EXPLOSION RAY-GUN at him would have resulted in his surrender with no need for fisticuffs, J'onn. For someone so reluctant to shoot people in the leg, you are unnaturally violent. |
J'onn makes up some BS story to cover his not-currently-gigantic ass as he confronts obvious on-going threat to public safety, Hiram Horner.
But Hiram's optimism is indefatigable:
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| Psst, Hiram; the Chamber of Commerce's Vigilante Committee is on the phone for you...! |
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| <comedy trombone sound and... fade> |
5 comments:
Here's what I'm focused on: Willy Ward's wardrobe. Look at those pinstripes that are laid out with a ruler, showing no inclination whatsoever to follow the bends of his limbs.
Hiram Horner, on the other hand ... the artist is actually trying to show the materials and how they are sewn together and bend. It's not a perfect job, but neither is it like old Lloyd Llewelyn comics, where it looks like graph paper as a goofy aesthetic.
- HJF1
I offer a count-interpretation. The stripes (which are unusually tight) are NOT a pattern. They are meant to represent SHEEN. It's a sharkskin suit, which were popular at the time. I used to have a green sharkskin suit myself, oddly enough.
Hiram Horner disappeared that day, and was never seen again. Witnesses reported hearing a scream from the sky and a sound that could only be described as “a fleshy helicopter.” Det. John Jones was assigned to investigate, and the Horner disappearance became one of the only unsolved cases in an otherwise storied career.
- Mike Loughlin
"Fleshy Helicopter" is the name of my next quartet.
How exactly was MM concealing that bulky ray gun in his speedo? Asking for a friend.
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