Friday, November 22, 2024

Lord Dornee

 There's an aristocratic air about the Justice League of America, or, at least, its original members.  Batman is a born aristocrat, Wonder Woman is in fact a princess, and Aquaman the king of the sea.  Despite a humble upbringing Superman is certainly heroic royalty.

As he occasionally subtley reminds people.

Green Lantern and Flash are much more down-to-earth types, but as the heads of their own dynasties (the Corps and the Speedsters, respectively), they certainly take precedence among their own peerages. 

I'm ignoring the Martian Manhunter. He's simply WEIRD. Like David S. Pumpkins, he's his own thing.

So, it might surprise you to learn something about the JLA's first non-original member, Green Arrow.

And I cannot stress "non-original" enough, here.

Ollie "Green Arrow" Queen is royalty.  Literally.

World's Finest #46 (June 1950).

That story title actually UNDERsells it.  He is not just a noble; he's a PEER. Oliver is a Scottish EARL. He wouldn't be called "Sir"; that's for lowlier types, like Knights.  He is literally "Oliver, Lord Dornee."  

"M'Lord / Your Lordship", if you're nasty.

Let's find out why.

At this point, the Ace Archers have moved out of their downtown penthouse into a nondescript suburban mansion, probably so's Ollie can use the Arrowcar's catapult more freely, 'cuz he LOVES that catapult.

Their new suburban digs are pretty low security, because during their absence Herr Falkenstein just walked in started playing the bagpipes for god knows how long and for ZERO REASON WHATEVER, other than "well, that's what Scottish people DO, after all."

"I've crossed the ocean coz I wa'na' cerrrtain ye knew how to use the tellyphone. bein' a Queen, 'n' all..  Not known for their hereditary brains, y'know."

Mister MacExposition, by the way, gets no name and is never seen again. He is there, in person, in the house, SOLEY to give Ollie an excuse to use the catapult.  I mean, it's not like Ollie and Roy could just come in the back door, now is it?

Golden Age storytelling being as efficient as it is, Ollie's in "Lochmeed", Scotland, in the very next panel, where we learn an important commonality that the Scottish have with us.

Like us Americans, they ALSO hate Ollie Queen.

Just FYI, there is no real-world "Lochmeed" or Earldom of Dornee, although it's probably patterned after the real-word earldom of "Dundee".  I almost wished they'd used Dundee, which would mean that Ollie's middle name would certainly be "Scrymgeour-Wedderburn" and I can think of no character who deserves that fate more.

That's actually a pretty witty comment, especially coming from Green Arrow.

Ollie, in his guise as Green Arrow, immediately tries to settle an ancient feud with the rival MacBride clan with (what else?) an archery contest.

Even for a Green Arrow story, I find this incident surpassingly stupid.

Having quelled an ancient rivalry that's been burning for centuries in only four panels, Ollie settles in to doing his best "King Ralph" imitation as an American goober who suddenly inherits a title.

Shut up, Ollie. As previously established, you already live in a goddam mansion big enough to hide the Arrowcar, which has its own zip code (or would, if zip codes existed at the time).

In fact, Ollie makes himself at home right away.

Oliver, Lord Dorky.

Oliver makes a highly unwarranted deduction.

Not about a lurker in the armor. I mean, that this is a job for Green Arrow.  This is a job for an actual detective.  

To wit:

"How DID Green Arrow die?"
"He was parboiled while climbing the walls of his own castle."
"Yeah; that sounds about right."

I guess we now know why Ollie likes to use the catapult so much. The bad guys should have hired Bull's-Eye; HE would have had the foresight to have a bag of rocks on hand. Anyway, once inside, even though Ollie notices he can't hear the clanking running of the suits or armor anymore, he fails to make any useful deduction from this... like the fact that they have stopped moving.

Ollie is SO bad at detective work, you can get the drop on him while wearing a suit of armor.


Since offing Green Arrow isn't really high on anyone's list of potential accomplishments, they just weight him down and dump him in a trash hole.

I would comment how surprisingly frequently people try to drown Green Arrow... but it's not really all that surprising.


Ollie, who at this point has not yet invented the Huffer, er, I mean, Aqua-Lung Arrow, saves himself with a discarded bagpipe, because, if there is anything the Golden Age teaches us, it is that thematic situations and deathtraps demand thematic solutions.

And the lesson here (which Ollie surely will not learn)?
ALWAYS WAIT FOR ROY.


QUOD ERAT DEMONSTRANDUM.


Obviously, we are supposed to think that the armored assailant has been a secretly still aggrieved MacBride, but in reality ...

The Butler did it.


It makes less sense than a Scooby-Doo episode, but since Ollie's out of panels the story's got to wrap up so he can get back to Star City (which surely is falling apart without him).  Ollie gives the castle away so that the writers can forget all about it going forward and...



it turns out Ollie was BSing his deduction that the butler did it and the butler was the only possible suspect all along.  Ladies and gentlemen: Oliver, Lord Dornee!


1 comment:

  1. What's the official status on Ollie Queen, is this all modern Ollie Queen but thrown back in time for a while? Or did I just hallucinate that after a blow to the head?

    - HJF1

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