Intro:
[SAUNDERS]
I'm an Ace Investigator,Verse 1:
[SAUNDERS]
When I go to sleep,
Well, I will admit that the suit looks bad--
double-breasted, puce, Glenurqhart plaid--
But think of the time I save!
[SAUNDERS]
When the Speed-phone rings,
there's someone dead;
Because they're dead.
Though there is danger, I am brave.
Well, the victim drips,
and the dead get wet,
And oh, what a lousy clue I get,
Bridge:
[USEFUL FEMALE INFORMANTS]
Tick tock, tick tock, just six pages;
Tick tock, tick tock, just six pages;
Tick tock, tick tock, time goes by!
[SAUNDERS]
How I love to wake the Dean, researching alumni!
[SAUNDERS]
How I love to wake the Dean, researching alumni!
Verse 2:
[SAUNDERS]
At traveling time,
I silhouette
Then pump your guts
Or maybe send you to your grave;
then use the Saundersmobile, too,
But think of the time I save!
Bridge:
[USEFUL FEMALE INFORMANTS]
Tick tock, tick tock, so few panels
I’ll be sitting counting seconds 'til the end is nigh
Verse 3:
[SAUNDERS]
And when it comes,
I have a plan
*applause*
ReplyDeleteMasterfully done. And it inspires me to haiku, a form which is uniquely suited to Speed.
Speed Saunders is here
Murder has been committed
Solved before dinner
Nice.
ReplyDeleteBravissimo! When Speed Saunders, Detective gets his inevitable blockbuster movie, we know who needs to write all the musical numbers.
ReplyDeleteSpeed sits at the right hand of God (but a little lower, like up to God's knee) there is no doubt.
ReplyDeleteI have long been in awe of your ability to rework lyrics. The touch I notice, and adore, is how you carefully reuse key words from the original but with a different meaning or context. And when you can't do that, you very often preserve the rhymes from the original.
ReplyDeleteThere aren't many people in the field of superheroes vs musical theater, but I'm glad we've got you on the case.
- HJF1