When we last left him, Speed Saunders, frustrated by the lack of progress in his current serial killer case, had absconded to The North Woods to vacation with his friend, Pierre (whom we have not yet seen), who is unaccountably late. Speeds decides to take the canoe and go fishing without Pierre. Even though fishing from a canoe is a very bad idea. But...
What the heck can be wrong with a canoe? Does it have a hole in it?
 |
| Without his telephone to chat with him, Speed just sort of narrates his own life. Who better? |
 |
| "WHO KILLED MY SISTER?! WAS IT YOU?!?!? |
See? I told you trying to fish from a canoe was a bad idea.. Well, at least the canoe doesn't have a hole in it; what it has in it is:
 |
| Of course it does. |
What on earth?! Who could have killed The Dead Pierre? This can't possibly have anything to do with the Skull-Face Cult killings, which took place over 300 miles away.
 |
| OR CAN IT...?! |
Obviously, the corpse of Speed's (late) friend The Dead Pierre should lead to an immediate investigation with all the local authorities and put an end to Speed's vacation. But what it actually leads to is... a Day of Pondering.
 |
| Yeah. Speed that Funny Air of Mystery is probably the stench of The Dead Pierre's body, which you left rotting back at the cabin while you posed for J. Crew's swimsuit catalog. |
No, I did not skip anything; that is literally the next panel. I guess Speed just left The Dead Pierre's body rotting back at the cabin for a day so he could go swimming to clear his head. Speed invented nonchalance, people. Honi soit qui mal y pense.
Yet the plot must advance, so while Speed is swimming by the light of the silvery banana, who should come along but...
 |
| A Useful Female Informant! |
Speed, who was about to go swimming alone, is incensed because this walk-on character dares to do the same... but she's a DAME! The noive. Then she does the ONE thing no one in the Saundersverse is EVER allowed to get away with...
 |
| SHE DISREGARDS SPEED SAUNDERS. |
Dang. I don't know who this spunky gal is, but I like her already. Gal's got MOXIE and a swimming outfit to go with it. Well, if there's a place to have Moxie, The North Woods would certainly be it.
Speed, you may remember, began his existence as an agent of the River Patrol (although that's long since been forgotten at this point). But it has left him with a vestigial sense of guardianship over all bodies of water and their users. Speed is life's lifeguard.
 |
| THAT FOOL GIRL! |
I am sure That Fool Girl, who seems like a confident swimmer, was in no trouble at all until Speed decided she SHOULD be, at which point the Saundersverse rearranged itself to match Speed's idea. "I lost The Dead Pierre; I'm not going to lose you, too, Fool Girl!"
 |
| You know what we be both awesome and typical for an SS story? If That Fool Girl were already DEAD. She's not, though. |
Even in the urgent situation that Speeds has conjured up out of nowhere, That Fool Girl cannot stare into Speed's Face of Judgement and so closes her eyes, bracing for his rescue. But, surely, Lifeguard Saunders will save her and all will be well and the danger will be over.
Tomorrow: KUNK
6 comments:
Speed Saunders is clearly a sort of crime singularity, who manages to draw all types of crime to him, even when they're initially perpetrated over 300 miles away. Where he goes, crime is compelled to follow, no matter what. See also: Jessica Fletcher, Murder She Wrote.
Sigh. Me again, Bryan L.
Heh. Speed as the Golden Age Jessica Fletcher.
Cross off the initial "THAT" and Speed would have composed a nice haiku.
Are you sure that dame can swim? She can't even dive. That position before going into the water sure looks like a belly flop waiting to happen.
That's just how tough she is, Reno. That's MOXIE.
Post a Comment